I sat in the spacious office with the gigantic walnut desk separating me from Darla Worthington, President of Armstrong Industries. I was sweating bullets, being 53 years old and out of work for the past six months. I had to have a job fast, or I would soon be on food stamps.
I nervously watched Ms. Worthington slip through the pages of the rather large folder containing my application, aptitude test, resume, and medical exam results.
"I see, Mr. Jenkins...May I call you Walter?"
"Oh yes Ma'am. By all means. Of course," I nervously blurted out.
"Thank you Walter. I see by your resume and application that you are very bright, and have advanced through the ranks over the years. I also see from your medical exam that you could use a bit of exercise. 5'5", 200 pounds? Have a little tummy on you Walter?"
I stammered as I tried to suck in my gut and explained, "I'm afraid since my divorce and loss of my job, I have put on about 40 pounds, but once I get back into the work flow, I'm sure I will lose it quickly.
Ms. Worthington gave a wry smile and waved her hand. "No matter Walter. You don't need to be in prime physical condition to be an Executive Assistant now do you?"
"No ma'am. Certainly not."
"I must be honest with you Walter. This is a woman owned company, and we have but just a handful of male employees."
I watched her flip several pages before continuing.
"I instruct Dr. Rachel Baumgartner, who gives the medical exams to pay careful attention to a man's penis size, and do you know why that is Walter."
"Uh, no ma'am Ms Worthington."
"Well Walter. I find any male with a normal penis or one who is endowed, cannot resist trying to bed all of his coworkers and clients. I see from Dr Bumbartner's report that you are quite small, so there is nothing to worry about with your physical characteristics."
"Um... Thank you ma'am.... I think."
I didn't know if I should feel very insulted, or relieved.
"Before you can be hired Walter, I must double check on the accuracy of Dr. Baumgartner's findings. Do you have a problem with that?"
Thinking that she would call down to the lab to double check to see if any typographical errors were made, I said "No ma'am. Not at all."
"Very good Walter. Please stand and remove all of your clothes. You can place them over on the couch?"
"Ma'am?" I was shocked!
"Walter, Please. I am a very busy woman. Don't make me have to repeat myself too often. Now if you want the job, please remove all of your clothes and place them on the couch."
I hesitated, then thought of being down to my last $350 in the bank, and slowly rose, knowing that I had to find a job. It was torture undressing, with Ms.Worthington's eyes taking in every movement, and drilling holes into me.
"The underwear too Walter."
"Yes ma'am."
I took a deep breath and pushed them down to the floor, then stood up and covered my tiny penis.
"Please come here Walter."
My whole body shook under her gaze, but I gingerly moved behind her desk and stopped about two feet from her.
"Please clasp both hands behind your neck and spread your feet about shoulder width apart Walter."
"Please Ma'am, what does this have to do with the job?"
Crack!!! Like lightening, Ms. Worthington's hand viciously slapped my thigh, causing excruciating pain and leaving a huge red hand print.
I immediately laced my fingers in back of my neck spread my legs, and stared straight ahead at the bookcases in front of me.
I felt her fingers go to my waist and squeeze the excess flesh at my waist, then move to my front to wiggle my slight pot belly.
"I can see where that 200 pounds rests Mr. Jenkins. If we decide to hire you at Armstrong, you will have to work on that."
"Yes ma'am."
I closed my eyes when I felt her hands roam lower and took in a deep breath as I felt her grasp my tiny penis.
"It appears that Dr. Baumgartner was correct. About one half inch?"
"Actually ma'am, I think it's about three quarters of an inch."
"Well Mr. Jenkins, I think you need to remeasure, but that's beside the point."
I felt her twisting and turning me in every direction, still not understanding what kind of interview I was being subjected to. As if reading my mind, Ms. Worthington said,
"Males are known to think with the penis Mr. Jenkins. We have a strict policy of not dating among employees. It seems apparent from the extra wrinkled flesh around the sides of your penis that you perhaps masturbate quite often. Am I correct Mr. Jenkins?"