The first time I ever met her was six months ago, and ever since that day, I have had a secret submissive, even "taboo" crush and fantasy about her. I say taboo because she is the 18-year-old friend of my cousin's daughter. Although legal in the eye of the law, my own guilt, shame and sane non-perverted mind tells me I should not be thinking of her in such ways even though my feelings are non-sexual in the traditional sense.
So, you might be wondering why a 45-year-old man was often thinking about this teenage fantasy woman? A woman who, in my fantasy-filled, perverted mind, is my all-powerful Mistress and owner? Well, seeing Tasha walking into my cousin's garden that Friday afternoon, when they returned from college, made me feel like a rabbit caught in a car's headlights. Hopefully, I did not let my mouth drop open to the extent it was apparent. Seeing this 6ft tall "what I later learned," physically perfect teenage Goddess walking towards me made my already short, insecure around beautiful women self feel about 6-inches tall.
Walking towards me with all the confidence in the world, staring straight at me. I feel my face burning red as I sit alone at the garden table until I inevitable drop my eyes to the floor. Walking up to me without any hesitation at meeting a stranger for the first time, she looks me up and down, turns to Kim. "you were right about him, Kim." Turning from me, they both walk into the house, leaving me alone again sat at the garden table to the sounds of girlish giggles. "What did she mean? "Kim was right?"
Now, with many conflicting thoughts whirling around my mind. On the one hand, I knew Tasha was a college girl the same age as Kim, and if like Kim, she will have likely just turned 18. But, WOW, she did not have the typical 18-year-old aura about her. Her height alone was a WOW factor to me, "me who has always loved tall women."
I was not only knocked off my feet with her been 6-inches taller than me; it was also her jaw-dropping good looks. Then there was how she walked, OMG. The way she walked up the garden path with her bag made her look like a catwalk model modelling the latest college uniform and "must-have" bag the way she glided across the garden path. Swishing her hips and making that pleated green skirt of the all-girls sixth-form college uniform dance across the legs, hips and butt.
I know I might be sounding borderline perverted freak by now, but I would bet anyone, male, female, young or old, to be around her and not be in awe of her Goddess like presence. By this time, I had known of her for only two minutes, but already hypnotised; in love, in lust, I do not know, I just know I needed to be on my knees at her feet confessing my middle-aged sins to her.
I am not sure if this is just my imagination at work? But looking back at the first time we met, I like to imagine Tasha could have walked up to me that day and told me to lick dogshit off of her shiny black T-bar shoes. If she had done that, I like to think I would have dropped to my knees there and then and done the sickening task without fault. To make her shoes spotlessly clean to please her just before she would turn and walk away from me in disgust whilst I struggle to not vomit up the disgusting muck in my belly.
Fast forward a couple of hours, and I was now feeling awkward at being around Tasha whilst sat here with the others. Trying not to come across as odd or staring at her, feeling like she could see through my soul and knowing what I was about, I decided to go home. Usually, I would have stayed, having some food and drink with them, but I made excuses about being tired and left early.
Getting home to sleep was the last thing on my mind, not a chance of sleeping. I had a perverted submissive fantasy burning in me, and I needed to extinguish it. Within five minutes of walking into my house, the PC was logged on. So began my first night of ever fantasising about Tasha, my teenage fantasy Mistress. That night soon became the early morning as the light came through the blinds, and the birds started to sing outside when I finally sprayed my perverted dirty shame over my hand whilst scrolling through Tasha's online profile pictures. Logging off the PC and going to the toilet to take a piss before getting a few hours sleep, I realised how sore my cock now was; it actually hurt to piss from the hours and hours of rubbing it and edging it for so long. I guess this is sort of a punishment for me at perving her pictures.
The following weeks I had Tasha, "Mistress Tasha," on my mind a lot. I was not obsessed, though. I was still scrolling through endless amounts of online porn with no connection to her at all. But then, the younger FemDom fantasy would come to mind, "mainly" due to reading similarly themed stories on Literotica. When this happens, I find myself shamefully scrolling through her Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter pictures like that first night. I am not sure why, but it gives me a naughty thrill to be looking at what I should not look at. Not that there was anything rude to see like I envisioned in my fantasies. In my mind, I had visions of Mistress Tasha's profiles being filled with pictures of her wearing latex dominatrix outfits, knee-high patent leather boots with heels that could kill whilst her whips and canes skinned the backsides of old perverts like me. But no, her profiles were very much typical of an 18-year-old girl sharing pictures on a public profile, like photos from the last day of high school showing off signed shirts and skirts, pictures of girls being girls out shopping and for clothes and just hanging out, then more recently out in the bars and clubs getting drunk Etc.
Although I had the fantasy image in my mind of Tasha wearing a typical fetish dominatrix outfit, I did fantasise about being her collared and leashed slave being lead around by her whilst she wears her college uniform. Paraded around the campus for all those teenage girls to see and laugh at, maybe they would even envy Tasha for having a slave. Endless possible scenarios. Perhaps I might have been her submissive lecturer, and she takes advantage of my submissive side. Maybe I would be the wealthy businessman under her control, paying her to stop her from informing the world that I am a dirty old pervert. She would have all the pictures, video, written and spoken evidence on me to humiliate me in front of everyone. Too many fantasy scenarios to mention; I would be here for a month writing them down if I did.
Endless fantasies later, but even today, months after first meeting her, I have never once imagined or wanted sex with her. My submissive desires turn me on a lot, but I do not want sex with her or other dommes I see online and imagine subbing to. To me, it is all about the humiliation of wanting a woman to control me and deny me whilst making me sub to her whims. The idea of a younger Mistress just adds to the shame of it all; I am sure many can relate to this? Can't you?
It was four weeks later when I next met Tasha. I was at my cousin's BBQ party on a hot Saturday afternoon. After a hard week of work, it was great to be able to relax in the sun without a care in the world, enjoying the food, beer and company. I was acting my typical jokey loud and the centre of attention-seeking self I love to be when she walked into the back garden with Kim. Within a split second after seeing her, I felt very self-conscious and nervous at her being here, but at the same time excited beyond words at seeing her again. Like a shy boy scared of a bully, I stopped talking, laughing and joking and just sat there red-faced and quiet while sipping on a drink and trying to act normal. I have no idea why I was like this around her. Either way, she has affected me in ways others have not.
For the next hour or so, other guests arrived, and we all hung around eating and drinking and having a good time doing what people do at summer garden parties. I was there physically, but also in another world of my own making at the moment. I could not think of anything other than my secret fantasy, Domme, who was currently in front of my eyes. Tasha was walking around, socialising and being very friendly with everyone she met. I noticed how she was catching admiring glances from others whilst she was not looking in their direction, to be expected considering what she was wearing. I know I am a perverted loser, arse-stain for having my fantasies about her, but I felt slightly vindicated at having these thoughts when I see how others perve at her too.
My sane, sensible side says to stop being a freak and act and think normal around her. Then the over horny odd side tells me she looks like she has just come from a glamour/ porno shoot going by what she is wearing now. So what if she is 6ft tall, long blond hair, stunning and in perfect physical gym-toned shape. Or that she is wearing a "tiny" pleated red tartan mini-skirt that is 10-inches above her knees, or that the sheer white silk crop top that shows off her perfectly sculptured belly. A belly that is adorned with a jewelled belly button piercing. Then there are those gleaming white patent leather knee boots with a 6-inch heel. "boots I can not help but imagine licking."
"Damn, I need a cold drink to get my head straight!" I say to myself. She must have read my mind because looking up, I notice her walking over to me for only the second time since first meeting her. I feel like a fly caught in a spider's web about to be devoured. Seeing her glide towards me, I can't help but notice the friendly look she has had for everyone else seems to have vanished. Seconds later, she faces me and looks down on my 5ft 6-inch tall self with an air of disdain.
"Hi, Tasha! Nice to meet you again." With no attempt to being social with me, she bluntly says.
"Timmy boy! I need a drink, be useful will you and go fetch me a fresh one, NOW!"