Ch 5
Olivia
Owen stood and all my hopes and dreams came crashing down. I let my head slump against the cushion of the armchair and sighed dramatically. Although, it didn't feel dramatic, it felt like I was actually going to explode.
"Olivia," he breathed.
I didn't even look up at him, I let my legs fall closed. I was tired of trying and I wanted to give up, but a part of me wanted to keep going and going until he gave me something, anything. He held me close, like a beloved pet, but it ended too fast. Did I need to fall apart for him to show me any kind of attention or affection? I could do that, fall apart. For him.
I started to cry, softly at first and then full-on sobbing into my hands. I felt him touch my arm and pull it away from my face, despite my resistance. "Olivia. Look at me."
I couldn't, wouldn't. I kept crying and he pulled away my other arm from my face, holding my hands in my lap. His hands were so close to my sex, it made my heart flutter and my sobbing hitch momentarily. I looked at him, accidentally, and couldn't look away.
"I want nothing more than to eat you all up, you have no idea. But I can't, Olivia. I won't take advantage of you like that. You're hurt and I'd just hurt you more."
"I want you to hurt me," I whispered, the tears burning and pricking my eyes.
"No. You don't," he said with finality and strode behind his desk again, running his hand through his gorgeous, full hair.
"I do! You have no idea what I want or what I
need!
I
need
to be punished. By you."
He sat in his desk chair and sighed, shutting his laptop and glaring at me. "You don't need to be punished by anyone. You need therapy."
"Fuck you!" I screamed and got up, pulling up my dress and fixing it in place. I turned on my heel to leave, when I felt his hand on my arm, pulling me back. He pulled me close to him, bending down to my level and getting nose to nose with me. I felt like a naughty puppy.
"I would break you if I punished you. I am a sadist, Olivia. I want to hurt you badly and you are already too damaged."
"Oh, I'm sorry I'm just a pile of damaged goods to you," I spat. But tears pricked in my eyes again and my throat got thick.
He sighed again. "Olivia, it's not like that. You take everything I say and misinterpret it. I am too much for you. You need someone else, someone that won't hurt you like I would."
I couldn't handle anymore, couldn't stay in that stuffy office one second longer. I ripped out of his grip and turned to leave. He didn't stop me this time, but I could feel the tension in the air, it was thick with it. I ignored it and plowed through it, slamming the door behind me. I had to finish my shift and it would give me something to focus on. I just wish Owen wasn't directly upstairs from me. Then again, his proximity was comforting.
I decided to text Camilla and make plans after my shift ended. I wanted to get drunk and get fucked. I was so horny, so full of pent of sexual energy that I had to do something about it. My toys weren't enough anymore and just wouldn't do the trick. I needed a nice solid man.
My shift went by quickly, with no return of Thomas or any other drama. I tried to stuff my emotions down and ignore them for the time being, but it was difficult. With my disorder, I felt way more emotions in a single day than your average human. So, there was a lot of stuffing down to do.
I took an Uber home and met Camilla downstairs after showering and getting sexy. I wore a black mini skirt with a slit in the side. Black lacy strapped heels and a white cropped top. I braided my hair in double French braids, so they could be pulled. I had everything planned out, or so I thought. I still had some money leftover and planned to get a hotel for the night. I sent Kat a quick text, telling her I wouldn't be home tonight and ordered a car for Camilla and me.
Camilla was clad in a black sparkly jumper suit with high ass heels and a plunging neckline, showing the sides of her large boobs. Her big hoop earrings swung back and forth as she walked, and her gorgeous hair was as fluffy as ever.
Kat texted back on the way to the bar asking where we were going. I texted out the names of a few bars we would probably be going to and the name of the hotel I planned to get. I figured it was smart to just be honest, considering I could possibly get kidnapped, or worse. My chances were lower with Camilla by my side though.
We pulled up to the bar and my heart started pounding in excitement. I got moist between my legs and my sex started to throb. It was like it sensed dicks nearby, like when you had to pee and got near a toilet, and you almost explode.
We got out of the car, tipped the driver, and headed in. It was packed with people our age, thankfully. We found a couple stools at the bar and snagged them before anyone else could. Ordering drinks was a whole different ballgame, it took forever, but finally we got our vodka and cranberries. I pounded mine down and was rewarded a free drink from some guy across the bar, ogling Camilla's tits.
"Pound
that!
" He laughed heartily and I rolled my eyes.
The bartender slid me a shot of whiskey and I threw it right back.
"Damn, girl, you better slow down, or I'll be holding your hair," Camilla warned.
"We're here to get fucked up girl, I do not care. Do you?" I laughed but was dead serious.
"Guess not." She shrugged and ordered us another round of drinks.
We were decently sloshed by the time people started singing karaoke. I dragged Camilla to the stage, and we drunkenly climbed our way up the stairs, telling the DJ our song choice. We sang like drunken sailors, swaying back and forth together. The song ended and we clumsily found our way back down the stairs. My ankle collapsed and I almost fell on my face. If it weren't for the strong hands that lifted me, I surely would have made a fool of myself.
I looked up into Owen's stormy eyes. He looked furious, jaw clenched and his gaze burning into me. He jerked me forward and growled, "Let's go." He said it with such finality that I followed him to the door and out. When the night air hit my face, I sobered up slightly and ripped my arm from his grasp. He just held on tighter.
"Let me the fuck go!"
"No. You're making a scene. Now let's go home. You're coming too Camilla."
I heard a scoff behind me and watched as Camilla skirted around us and walked to the waiting car that was pulled up.
"No,
you're
making a scene. Now let me go. I'm having fun, ever heard of it, old man?" I giggled maniacally. I bent over, holding my tummy and suddenly the sidewalk started swirling and I got nauseous.
Uh-oh.
I spewed all over the sidewalk and on Owen's shoes. He made a disgusted sound and backed up, but still held onto my arm. He swept my hair up out of my face, and I spewed again. I groaned, holding my stomach.
"You done?" he asked gruffly.