My close friends who know me very well sometimes ask me how it feels to have so many people inside me. I always reply, "There are only three of us, and it is only one at a time."
People who don't know me very well think I have catatonic epilepsy. To the outside world, sometimes I just lock up for somewhere between a few moments to a few days. That makes it a little hard to work, and even harder to have any close friends. But inside, I am not "locked up," I am someone else... and I am often somewhere else.
Actually, I am not always someone else. When I am Kelly, I am someone else. When Wayne drops by and takes me somewhere, I am me -- unless I am Kelly -- but then all I can see is Wayne. I don't know for sure if Wayne is his name because he has never said it, but that is what I call him. Kelly calls him "Master."
My doctors say that Kelly and Wayne are just hallucinations that occur during my seizures, but I know that they are real. When I hear that "music" playing softly in the distance and coming closer and closer, I know that either Wayne or Kelly is going to drop by.
The music used to be just strange melodious noise, but then one day I heard an old song by Helen Reddy called "Angie Baby." It sounded a lot like the music I was hearing, and from that point on, what I hear just before things happen is the voice of Helen Reddy singing, "It's so nice to be insane; No one asks you to explain; Radio by your side, Angie Baby."
Wayne is a sadistic, overbearing prick. He calls me foul names. He makes me suck his cock. He fucks me in the ass. I should hate him, and I guess I do, but I also find that I want him to return. I want him to order me to my knees. I want him to make me take his soft member into my mouth and make it harden with my tongue. I want him to force me to remove my clothing and kneel with my head and shoulders on the floor so that my ass is offered to him for his use.
The doctors say that it is all in my head. They show me the video tapes of episodes which occurred when I was "in-house" in the treatment center. I am sitting totally still at the table. I have not removed my clothing. I am not kneeling on the floor. I am not sucking on a large penis. Nothing is happening.
But they cannot explain why when I "awake" there is a slickness in my mouth and the sweet-salty taste of semen on my tongue, or why my ass is stretched and bleeding. "Stigmata," they say. "The mind can do powerful things," they assure me.
So can Wayne.
Sometimes Wayne comes to see me when I am Kelly. Then things are even rougher. Kelly likes it. She loves cock. She loves to be fucked. She loves to be fucked in the ass. She loves to be fucked in the mouth. She love to be fucked in the cunt or between her breasts or between her legs with her legs pushed high over her face so that the spurting cum splashes on her face or any other way in which Master can think of. Kelly likes it.
Kelly doesn't like the whip or the paddle or strap or Master's bare hand. There she is like me. Kelly doesn't like it..., but she needs it. Like a heroin addict seeking out one more fix, Kelly will push Master until he reaches the point where he must punish her.
Yesterday, Kelly pushed a little too far, or maybe Master had a bad day and was so full of anger that he needed to take it out on someone. In any case, after forcing Kelly to deep throat him, he tried to take her in the ass. He knows that Kelly likes it, so he was very surprised when she fought him. He was very angry when she struck him. He lost control when she tried to kick him in the nuts.
He beat her like she had never been beaten before. He didn't use his fists, but he slapped her hard enough to spin her to the ground. Then he took off his belt, doubled it back into his hand, and began strapping her. At first Kelly just lay on the floor and absorbed the punishment. But Master continued. Kelly began to beg and plead for mercy, but Master continued. She screamed and yelled in pain, but Master continued. Finally Kelly just lay still upon the ground and cried and whimpered softly into the carpet. Master finally stopped. He turned Kelly over onto her back and took her brutally, thrusting deep into her cunt, bruising her cervix with the depth of his penetrations.
They tell me it is just hallucinations, but my body is covered in bruises and welts, and I hurt inside in a very strange way that the doctors cannot explain.