I crossed my arms in front of my chest and let the hot water run over my head and down my back. Something about a hot shower late at night always makes me think of him, the last time he was here, what happened the last moment I saw him.
So vivid, I can feel his hands wash me while I close my eyes and enjoy being adored. His arms closed tightly around me, while the hot water spills down around us. I open my eyes again and the vision disappears, his face washing down the drain with the rest of the soapy water.
The first time I spent time with him, it was at a bar, getting drinks with our co-workers. Mid-thirties, blonde hair, a worn baseball cap always on his head, strong military stance and body, standing six foot three and most importantly, always the center of attention. Oh, how he held the center of a room. It was like he was a magnet, and people just got pulled to him.
A woman I had met in the bathroom came out and drunkenly sat at our table, flirting endlessly with him, asking him if he was married, what he did for a living, then rattling on about her job and her boss, intermittently. Most of her conversation was directed at T, not taking notice to the five or so other people sitting at the table with him.
Without warning, she reached her hand up the pant leg of his shorts and suggested that if he wasn't married, that he should come home with her. I saw a change in his face that I will never forget.
"My wife wouldn't appreciate you doing that," he laughed, but then his face fell serious.
"Oh! You have a wife, do you?" She responded with drunken animosity. He motioned at me.
T suddenly turned to his right where I was seated and I saw the change in his face, and I felt his strong hand on the back of my neck.
"I'm going to kiss you, and you'd better kiss me like you're head over heels for me." Then his tongue was in my mouth. I felt a shiver down my spine like I'd never felt before and a melting sensation in my chest that released itself in my panties.
Oh, there was no need to pretend I'm head over heels, honey; you just hammered that last nail in.
The look on the woman's face was that of jealousy and then rage and she stood up from the table, kicking her chair backwards. "I'll fight you for him!" She screamed at me, and suddenly the same look crossed T's face. After the kiss, I realized it was the look of assertion, that whatever statement he was going to make was going to happen because God help you if you chose to disobey. She saw this look then too, and left the bar with a huff.
I had driven him down to the bar, and he asked me then to take him back to his truck. The ride back was silent, and I was completely clueless as to what I could say, and dared not to ask for more, even though I so badly wanted to.
He sat in the passenger seat, quiet, for five minutes, as I sat staring into the parking lot lights.
"I'm going to start my truck, and then I need to talk to you." T got out of my car and slammed the door, fumbled with his keys to unlock his truck, and got it started. I watched him look at himself in his window, take a deep breath, and then turned around.
He got back in the car and the look was there again. I wasn't scared, but instead curious if I should expect an apology. Instead, I was totally blown away.
"I want to reward you for listening and doing as you were told at the bar." It was said in a low tone, nearly a growl.
"I don't understand..." and his mouth was on mine again, kissing me more gently this time, and his hands moved to my pants and tore away the button, sliding his hands roughly down the front of my underwear.
I couldn't help myself, it was something about his control over the situation that made me instantly wet. I had no choice in the matter, and I was completely ok with it. I'd never experienced something like this before in my life, I didn't want it to stop.
I was rewarded by his hand beckoning two orgasms out of me, in the driver seat of my car while sitting in the parking lot at work. I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
Mid August, two and half years after he pulled me into his world, I found myself driving two hours to go see him for his birthday weekend.
The weekend ended up being cool and crisp and the days were spent with our kids, having cookouts and taking them to car shows, sitting out at the picnic table for all our meals, and functioning like a typically family. I had brought a dress for his actual birthday, and I couldn't wait to wear it. I wore jeans and a t-shirt all weekend, most of my clothes now too big, my pants three sizes too large and my t-shirts hung baggy. I was brunette and 160 pounds, with broad shoulders and thick legs and bottom, standing five foot six. I knew I wasn't a head turner with my physical appearance, but if you got close enough, I've been told my eyes draw you in, like Venus fly traps.
So from the outside, we seemed like a normal couple living normal lives.
Normal. Plain. Ordinary. Regular. Usual. Common.
Vanilla.
I remember vanilla from years ago. I would never miss that state of being again in my life.
The evening before his birthday, while I sat musing on how much everything had changed in the past nearly three years, I was informed of a duty I was expected to do. The kids were all brushing their teeth, focusing on getting ready for bed, choosing their cartoons for the night and climbing into their bed altogether. I felt his breath on my neck and could feel the change in his voice.
"Go upstairs and run the shower. Undress, and don't get in until you are told," remarked T, in a low growl.
I immediately stood, not daring to disobey, and kissed the kids good night and mentioned I was going to shower.
I walked up the long flight of stairs wondering what he had in mind. It was never the same, always changing, always spur of the moment. I started the shower, and undressed as I was told...and waited.
I waited and waited and waited. I can feel the steam from the shower and felt the cool air from the vent wash over me, and started to shiver. My nipples tensed, my skin got bumpy, and I shook.
