Ethan and I met on a forum for Christian singles interested in the domestic discipline lifestyle. While he had grown up in such a household, I had been fatherless and spoiled all my life. At the time I wasn't sure it was something I wanted for myself but I was curious.
There has always been something in me that has been attracted to the concept of submission and to men worth the honor of my submitting to them. I don't know why. I've long since given up asking myself that or trying to decide if I'm crazy or kinky, or whatever. I've learned to just accept myself the way I am and I think I'm lucky, because many people live their entire lives and never do.
About Ethan. He's 6'2, and clean cut with hazel eyes and a good build from working on his father's farm. He majored in agricultural science in college. Highly intelligent, affectionate, and a real Southern gentleman, he completely swept me off my feet from the very beginning. I never stood a chance.
We had our differences. I was a city girl and I'd majored in English, being more of the scholarly type than he was. I intended to study library science in graduate school, but ended up being a housewife instead. I reign Queen over a nice house with a fair sized amount of land. I spend my days making things nice for myself and my family. Being June Cleaver may not suit everyone, but it suits me.
Despite my curiosity, at the time of our marriage I was still very unsure about the whole domestic discipline thing. Ethan was though. He maintained that his parents had practiced it for twenty five years of marriage and were completely happy. And he was right. His parents are the kind of people that other couples look to in envy.
But that wasn't what led me to accept his proposal. I married him because I was truly, deeply, whole heartedly in love with him. When you're in love, you're willing to do anything in the world for that special person. I knew that Ethan loved me and I knew he'd never hurt me, so when he asked me to marry him I never had a second thought.
I didn't go into the marriage without apprehension. Despite what I'd read and conversations we'd had, I wasn't sure quite what to expect. He never once tried to lay a finger on me during our courtship. "A man has no business spanking a woman who isn't his wife any more than he has making love to her." he told me once.
As the date of the wedding grew nearer I had many questions about myself. Could I really be the woman he needed me to be? Would the life of a housewife really be fulfilling? What about the discipline? What if I came to fear or resent Ethan? What if I wasn't tough enough to take it?
His mother had the most helpful answer to that last one.
"It isn't about being strong or tough. The point of the whole thing is to eliminate stubborn, stiff-necked tendencies. It's not about power...it's about giving up power. It's about complete trust in your mate. Do you trust Ethan?"
Yes, I did. And that's why I married him.
Our honeymoon was just like anyone else's would have been. We were away for two glorious weeks with only each other to think about. He was my first and I was his, and that's a rare thing in this day and age.
Once we were back we set to work starting our new life together. I bustled around getting our nest in order and he went out and worked on the farm. I was happy, but still had a slight, edgy feeling of dread. I knew what my expected wifely duties were and I was still afraid of disappointing him.
It was toward the end of the first week back from our honeymoon as we were sitting on the porch steps drinking iced tea and watching the sun go down when he said casually, "Tomorrow I plan to give you your first spanking, Beth."
My fingers tightened nervously on the glass. "But I haven't done anything wrong."
"No. You've been wonderful. This is just how this kind of relationship is kept healthy and well oiled. Regular discipline keeps gender roles firmly in place, and frankly, I think it's good for woman's emotional nature. My mother....who by the way gets one spanking a week...says it's a good stress reliever. Honey, you've been like a hampster on a wheel all this week."
"I've been busy."
"I know. And a good cry will be good for you." he said in a reasonable tone" And too....there's an intimacy to it. You don't understand yet, but you will."
"When exactly?"
"Tomorrow night after dinner. If it makes you feel any better, I'm nervous too. I've never spanked a woman before."
This was not overly comforting. It must have showed on my face.
"I won't enjoy hurting you, you know. Some things are just necessary. It hurt when I took your virginity, didn't it?"
Yes, it had. And I was still so tight that I felt discomfort whenever we made love...but the reward was well worth it. That's just how some things are in life. I set down my glass and snuggled up against him. "I love you Ethan. Whatever you want."
The moment of reckoning came after dinner the following day, just as he had warned me. Ethan had come in from checking the animals and said simply, "Beth, go up to our room, undress and wait for me in the chair by the window. I'll be up after the news. Sit quietly and prepare yourself for your spanking."
I did as he asked, following his orders with shaking hands and fingers. It was alarming to be so at the mercy of another person, and yet what a beautiful thing to have such love and trust.
I had to wait for a torturous half hour. I knew it would hurt and dreaded it. "If a man doesn't bring his wife to tears, then he has failed her." Ethan told me once. "Tears show that the spanking has done it's job. Trust me....you'll understand when you experience it."
