Submitting to My New Life

I wake up the following morning to my regular 8am alarm, for a moment letting the usual wave of boring monotony wash over me. Then I remember last night, my list. The list that was going to change my boring life to the one I so desperately wanted. I get out of bed and go straight to my computer to look over the list again as I can't completely recall what I had written towards the end. I must have been drunk on arousal and possibly. I read through my list and begin to nervous sweat. I can't possibly do all of these things, can I? Sure some seem alright, and there's nothing I haven't fantasised about for years, but now I'm faced with the decision to actually do it, or delete the list and never think about it again. I decide to think about it over the day, and make a final decision after work.

Once again, I dress for work and make the ten-minute journey to the cafe. It is a Saturday, and many people are outshopping. As a result, the cafe is very busy, and I don't have much time to think about my list. It isn't until the lunch rush has dissipated and Sam asks me how I am doing with my life problem that I even remember my dilemma.

"Huh? Sorry what was that?" I ask him, caught off guard by his question.

"I asked if you had made any progress with your life. You know, you said yesterday it wasn't going how you had planned"

"Oh, yeah. I guess I've made some progress. Took your advice and wrote it all down"

"So now what?" Sam asks, and he genuinely seems interested in helping me. Pity he can never know the details of the struggle I am having. He is too kind and gentle for that.

"Well..." I contemplate for a moment exactly what I can say that gives nothing away but still leaves me open to advice, since it worked so well yesterday.

"Now I'm faced with having it right in front of me, and the reality of choosing who to be and what to do seems overwhelming"

"Ok. Do you want what you wrote down? Or do you want your life how it is now?"

"What I wrote down of course" I feel heat between my legs as I think of what exactly that is.

"Then do that" Sam says simply.

"If that will make you happy, seems like an easy choice to me"

I smile at him. I never really thought of him in any way other than overly friendly coworker, but he is as close to a friend as I have in this town. I thank him for his advice, turn down his usual dinner invitation and hurry to clean up the shop. I know the answer to this mornings question. I have to do the things on my list. It wasn't even really a choice. I can either do them and live the life I dream about, or not do them and spend my life dreaming instead.

I don't even bother showering when I get home, I just go straight to my computer where my list is still open.

' 1. Create list of rules to follow in apartment'

I open a new document and type RULES as the heading. Then I sit back and think, what do I want out if these rules? My main goal is to feel as though I am submitting to my list, so I should be made submissive as soon as I enter the apartment. I start to type:

1. Must remove clothes upon entry to apartment

2. Must remain naked at all times unless about to leave

Ok that's a good start, what else though? What about sexual arousal? I need some way to control myself given how horny I'm sure all this will make me.

3. May only orgasm once per day, after 8pm

That will force me to get through the day as well as stop me from masturbating the second I get home every day.

4. Must use vibrator for 5 minutes with no orgasm every morning

That will be tough, I've never liked the idea of not finishing when I get started. But denying me what I wanted was part of submitting. What else can I deny myself?

5. Must only drink water - no juices or soft drinks

6. May only use toilet twice a day

I am turning myself on again, the rules are getting more controlling. Once again I decide to ride the wave of arousal and make some good rules.

7. May only eat out of a dog bowl on the floor

8. Must sit on a dildo any time you sit on a chair

9. Must watch 1 full length BDSM porn a week

- must be over an hour in length

- must be hardcore D/s

- must be restrained to avoid touching yourself

I reread my list and a smile spreads across my face. This is what makes me happy. I add one final rule,

10. Must punish yourself as soon as possible for each rule break daily

I read through one more time as my hand rubs my pussy through my jeans. My hands start undoing the button to take them off until I remember I have one more list to write.

'2. Create list of possible punishments'

I sigh and open another document. What sort of punishments do I want? Do I want pain? Or degradation? To be humiliated into submission? Yes, all of the above. But how can I regulate my punishments? If I break a rule will I just pick the easiest punishment? I need to take control out of my own hands. I have an idea! I'll come up with 6 punishments, and decide which one I have to do by rolling a die. Then I will have no way to control the outcome, and will have to do whichever punishment the die lands on!

1. Spank yourself with silicone spatula 10 times on each ass cheek - HARD don't be a wimp

2. Wooden peg on each nipple, tightened with rubber band for an hour

3. Write slut in big letters on your stomach and stand blindfolded at your window for 30 minutes

This one will be terrifying. I know that it is almost impossible to see in my window from the street because of the glare of the sun on my 3rd floor window, and the alleyway below being quite narrow. But sometimes if the clouds cover the sun just enough, or God forbid if it is night time, someone can look up at just the wrong (or right) moment and see me. Oh well, this is the point. Don't break the rules, and I won't need a punishment.

4. Gagged and blindfolded, handcuff hands to feet for a full night

- tie key around wrist so I can release myself in the morning

5. Piss into a bowl and drink it like a dog

Fuck I am definitely drunk on arousal. I have never done anything piss related before, but I often search for that specific porn and it is incredibly degrading. It's fine, I think to myself. Just follow the rules.

6. Spank yourself with silicone spatula directly on your spread pussy 10 times

I look over everything, my submissive list, and my new rules and punishments. I pull down my jeans and finally allow my fingers to touch my soaking wet pussy. I push 2 fingers deep inside me and fuck myself while I read my finished lists, imagining what my life will become. I cum on my fingers and lick them clean, tasting myself and enjoying the scent of my arousal.

It's official, from tomorrow these lists will control my life. Tired from the excitement of the day, I take myself to bed. I strip so that I will awaken in the morning naked as per my new rules. This causes another wave of arousal so I take advantage of the fact that my one orgasm a day rule doesn't start for a few more hours, grab my vibrator and cum once more, before I fall into a deep sleep thinking about my new life beginning in the morning.