i am kneeling, completely naked, in the position that i am to assume with my Master. He has told me that i must always have my eyes downward, kneeling with my back straight and my hands behind my back. He has told me that i am not allowed to wear clothes in His presence, except in public, outside the confines of the house. Within these walls, the only thing i am ever to wear is my collar. i am NEVER to address Him by His Christian name, even in public. i do not have that privilege, and He has made it clear that the consequences of breaking this rule will be very dire. Whether we are sitting or standing, in the house or in the company of others, i must be physically lower than Him at all times. When we are out in public, i must always walk two paces behind Him with my head slightly lowered.
As stated in the contract i have just signed, i have signed over total ownership of my body, mind and soul. i remember His words as i read through the stipulations in the contract: "....Once you sign it, there is no turning back. Do you understand that?" i belong totally to Him now. my Master walks across the room, while i continue to hold position. If i break position, i know i will be punished, as He has not told me to move. i continue to look downward, as i am not to look directly at Him unless otherwise instructed.
He finally speaks. "Kathryn, come here. Slowly, on your knees."
i crawl over to Him. He is standing over me, and i can see in my peripheral vision, that He is fully dressed. "You need to learn your place, Kathryn, that you belong to me totally now." He pushes my head down with His foot and commands me to properly show reverence.
i lower my head and kiss and lick His shoes. This fills me with a great joy, a complete feeling of belonging and peace. i am exactly where i should be. my Master suddenly lifts his foot under my chin, pushing my head up.
"Look at me." He commands. i look up and meet His eyes, which give nothing away. His expression is indiscernible.
"Do you understand your role, Kathryn? You are here to serve my needs and desires without question. You will do what I ask without hesitation."
"Yes, Master, i understand"
He walks towards the table, pours a drink of brandy into a glass, and sits down.
"Kathryn." He signals with his hand to the place in front of His chair, under the table. i crawl to the area He has indicated. Again, he lifts his foot onto my shoulder, pushing me down. "Lower." He instructs me. i remain in a kneeling position, with my head and torso pressed against the floor, hands behind my back. He places His feet on my back, using me as His footstool, reminding me that i am His property now.
"Good. Good girl." He says. "You are quick to learn your place. A slave who truly understands where she belongs."
i feel His crop lightly stroking my back and thighs. He keeps this close at his side, to punish me should i move. i understand that i do not have the right to move at all, as i serve as His furniture.
After what seems like forever - Minutes? Hours? - my Master says to me: "How much do you trust me, Kathryn?"
i answer, "Completely, Master, with my very life."
He reaches down, lifts my head and shoulders. "Look at me." i meet his gaze. "Are you sure?"
"Yes, my Master, i am completely sure."
He touches my shoulder. "Stand up. Walk over there." He signals to a column that supports the ceiling, in the middle of the room.
i walk over to the column. "Put your hands above your head!" He orders me. i put my hands above my head, leaving my entire body exposed.
i notice that He has a black silk scarf in His hand. He walks around me, inspecting my body. He reaches behind me, tying the black scarf around my head, over my eyes. i can feel Him tying my wrists to the wooden column, the harshness of the rope rubbing against my wrists, threatening to cut into me with the slightest movement. i feel so vulnerable and so afraid, unable to see, unable to move my arms. i can feel Him parting my legs slightly. i can feel His fingers brush past my sex, my warm wet folds. i am becoming wet for some reason, and my clitoris is throbbing, as i tremble, apprehensive. This entire time, He has not said anything to me.
He finally speaks: "You will give everything to me, every cell in your body. Is that understood?"
"Yes." i can feel my breathing quicken with my heart rate. i hear His footsteps; He is doing something on the other side of the room. i listen for any indication of what is happening.
His footsteps get closer now. Suddenly i can feel cold metal with a sharp edge, tracing the skin of my breasts and stomach. It is then that i realize what is happening.
"Kathryn, do you know what this is?" He speaks quietly now.
"Yes i do, Master". i hear the tremor in my voice as i speak.
i feel the blade tracing along my throat, biting into my skin. i suddenly feel a sharp sting. i am visibly trembling by now, breathing very quickly. i hear myself moan in fear and pain. i feel warm liquid, my very essence, running down between my breasts, towards my stomach.
He speaks quietly, tracing the blade across my skin, downwards now, towards my pubic area: "I want to remind you that your life belongs to me, which is what you have agreed." i feel the sharp blade of the knife against my sex. i am terrified as i feel Him parting my lips. I feel the sharp point of the blade at my entrance.
"If I penetrate you with this blade, Kathryn, do you realize what could happen? I think you know what will happen if you clench your muscles."
"Yes." i reply weakly. i am trembling uncontrollably, knowing that in my current position, my Master can do whatever he wants with me, that i have deeded my very being and existence to Him. That my life is His to take. i have signed myself over to Him, body and soul, but I wonder: Will He take my life, spill my essence, my gift, so recklessly? my total submission to Him wrestles with my innate will to survive.
i now feel the edge of the blade being drawn across the inside of my left thigh, the pain biting into my flesh, making my cry out. i can feel warm wet blood trickling down my leg towards my ankle. i am aware of the tears running down my face, of pain and fear, ashamed that i am so afraid, when i know that i need to trust completely, otherwise i should not be here, in this room. i am also aware of the hunger inside me that is growing, the deep hunger inside my body. my warm wet folds must be glistening with my juices.
Again i feel the point of the blade pressing against my clitoris. i can feel my thighs parting involuntarily, as my Master brings the tip of the blade once again to the entrance of my very being. i gasp as i feel the tip of the blade entering my body, my being. His fingers stroke my swollen clitoris. i am crying in terror now, every cell in my body aching with desire and craving.
"Please....no...." i am pleading. my Master holds my throat with His other hand, feeling my pulse, my survival instinct, strong and rapid underneath the pressure of his fingers.
He finally withdraws the blade. my legs feel as though they are about to give out, shaking, i can barely stay on my feet. i can barely breathe, and i can feel the thin line of blood from my throat trailing down to my wet, quivering opening.
my Master slides a finger inside my hot, pulsing passage. "You need to be stretched, Kathryn. You will need to be able to take my fist and various other objects. There are so many other ways in which I am going to use you."
i hear a groan escaping me, as the sensation of my Master's finger inside me is bringing me closer to the edge. i move my pelvis forward, to try and take more. "Please, may I have more...?" i am begging. my entire body is screaming to be filled, yet i am genuinely terrified that i may be made to take more than i physically can.
As if sensing my nearing climax, my Master withdraws his finger from inside me. i suddenly feel His hands around my throat, squeezing tight. "You do not EVER come until I tell you to! Your body belongs to me, and you release only when I grant you release! Is that clear?"
"Y-yes." i am gasping for air as His grip on my throat tightens. i feel light-headed, i am about to lose consciousness. i cannot speak; i cannot even beg for air, i cannot make a sound. My Master releases His grip around my throat. "Good. You will obey this command."
"Yes, Master, i will." i am breathing heavily now. My legs feel so heavy, they are about to give out, however i am tied in an upright position to this column, and my body is held up by my binds. My muscles are screaming, i am about to pass out from the agony.
Suddenly, i feel two fingers inside me, then three, then four, stretching me. "Open for me, Kathryn. Do it." He says very slowly. Pain sears through me, my tight entrance resisting the invasion.
"i – i cant....Please, i can't!" The insides of my warm, wet entrance feel as though they are being split in two, my body is being ripped apart. Hot tears of pain and terror run down my cheeks, and i want to pass out from the pain of being torn open by His fingers..
