"Okay Folks!! This meeting's adjourned. I'll see you all next week and look forward to hearing about your progress!"
The room filled with the sounds of chairs scraping backwards on the hard wood floors as the weekly department meeting broke up and the employees returned to the drudgery of their daily tasks. Suzanne shuffled her papers a little absently and began arranging them back into her portfolio. Nope. Wrong order. She took them out and rearranged them. Put them back in her portfolio... closed the bindings with a snap. She hardly noticed her boss sit on the table next to her paperwork but looked up as Sherry came into view.
"Suzanne? Everything okay?"
"Oh yes, sure it is. How are you?"
"Fine. Fine. Look, if something were wrong, you know you'd be able to talk to me about it, don't you?"
"Of course I do Sherry... is there a problem?"
"No, no, not at all."
"Is something wrong with my work?"
"Suzanne, you know that's not what I am saying. I've just noticed you've seem a little preoccupied. It's not really a work issue. I just wanted to make sure you knew you had a friend if you needed to talk about anything."
Suzanne started collecting her things off the desk.
"Thanks. I appreciate it. Really." Suzanne smiled cordially. "I've had a few things on my mind lately, but nothing worth mentioning. So...unless you needed something else?"
Sherry got off of the table and went to erase the whiteboard filled with the red marks of strategic planning.
"Nothing else." Sherry reached out to give Suzanne's sholder a pat. "Sorry to have bothered you with it. You have a good afternoon, and I'll see you at the Team J meeting this afternoon."
"No bother," Suzanne assured. "Have a good morning!" Suzanne forced herself to look sprightly as she left the room and began her trek down the hall back to her cubical. Her mind turned inwards as she passed by the beige walls and under the florescent lights that seemed to pervade so much of her existence. @#%$. Something was wrong. Something had been wrong for about a month now. But she hadn't realized she was wearing it on her sleeve for everyone to see.
She had not known what to do that evening. Somehow she made her way home. She threw herself on her pillow and cried, and didn't bother to analyze why. She had considered calling the police. But what would she tell them? And what would they think of her? She put it off for a day. She almost asked security to walk her out to her car, but instead opted for always going down the elevator with a group of chattering co-workers. They offered some modest form of protection, and their inane discourse helped to block up the memories of the 3rd floor-parking garage. She put it off for another day. Then another. Soon a week had passed and she had still not told the police. "Silly now, to call them so late. They'll wonder why I didn't call right away." Suzanne never even bothered to pick up the phone.
Past main administration, she gave a wave to the receptionist, and the elevator lobby....
Her life had changed in other ways. She listened. She had always prided herself on hearing what others had to say, but she started listing to the how of it now. Every man she passed, she listened to see if she could recognize some tone, some inflection that would give away the game. It never came. The weeks passed and her memories of the events only grew stronger. One evening, while she was masturbating alone in her apartment, her cat shut out on the other side of the bedroom door, her thoughts kept slipping back to that half an hour... and she stopped, startled. It was becoming more like that these days....an obsession....a memory that seeped into her every thought, and didn't turn her stomach. And then her stomach would turn at her realization that it hadn't before. Suzanne simply didn't know what to do. There was nothing she could do. She had never been so frustrated in her entire life.
Walked past the business library and past marketing....
Suzanne stopped suddenly. There. And looked up, startled. The hall was empty. But she had smelt it. Suzanne shook her head and inhaled deeply. No. Nothing there. She took a step back and inhaled again. Nothing there either. But it had been there. It had come and passed. And it was unmistakable. The barest hint of clean soap, warmth and that cologne that was burned upon her memory...
Suzanne stood very still as her heart rate sped up. He was in the building. He had to be.
Her rational mind warred with the rest of her. Surely more than one man can smell like this!!
Suzanne put her hand up to her head and shook it in an attempt to clear it. A co-worker passed by.
"You okay?"
"Yeah...just got dizzy. It's nothing. Thanks though."
Suzanne made her way back to her desk post-haste, but her eyes were open now, and alert. And her ears listened for any mans voice that resonated a deep baritone.
She arrived at her desk.
Oh great. Mail.
The bane of her existence consisted of sorting this daily horrendous pile. Don't know where to send it? Give it to Suzanne! She'll sort it! Never mind that her title is not "Mail Clerk." She plopped herself down into her chair and steeled herself to just get through this odious task. "This," she thought, "is normal. I'll think about this."
