After endless prodding of my friends and an extended period of simple unhappiness at my regular day job, I quit and started my own pest control business. It had only been a few months, and now the busy season was just about to start. In the pest control business, it really didn't get busy until Fall, when the rodents get cold and decide to move in.
Today I got a call like that. Somebody had heard mice or "something big" run in the walls of her home. I had no other appointments that afternoon, so I told her I would be over yet today. "Oh, that would be great!" she said with obvious relief as I scribbled down the address.
It must have been about two in the afternoon when I rolled into her driveway. It was a nice house, located a little out of town. It sat elevated from the road and far enough away from it, so it had great privacy.
As a pest control guy, I couldn't help but notice that the landscape was impeccably taken care of. There were two large oak trees, near to the house, which doesn't help in the battle against rodents, as acorns mean food. But at least no bird feeder.
She must have heard my vehicle climbing the driveway. She was standing on the porch, waving to park next to the car that was already there. I was here on business, or I would have slowed down to really get a good look at that silhouette. Even from a distance, she looked like a stunner.
"Hi I am Angela" she said as she walked towards me, hand stretched out to greet me as I got out of the vehicle. "Thank you for coming over so quickly, something is in my walls, and it is keeping me up at night".
She was wearing a long body hugging sweater, with a deep V neckline, and gray, almost silver, yoga pants. I couldn't help but notice that her ample breasts were bouncing with every step she took towards me.
"Hi I am Sam, of SP Pest Control" I answered her greeting. "Let's go see what we have here," as I grabbed an oversized flash light and put on plastic gloves.
The gloves were a marketing gimmick, intended to instill the "unhealthy" image behind pests. After all, if you are scared of pests, you would never get into this business. I snapped the wrists of the gloves loudly to draw attention to them.
"So where have you noticed the noises, and what kind of noises do you hear?" I asked.
I followed her up the steps of the porch, body hugging sweater hiding the views that I was just dying to see as I gawked at her torso just twisting ever so slightly as she moved ahead of me. The muscles of her thigs and calves seemed to just bounce under the lycra of her pants.
"Oh, let me take you to the kitchen, I have seen droppings in the cabinet, and didn't clean it up in the hope you could identify it." Angela said as she pointed towards the kitchen.
The cabinet under the sink, with the plumbing pipes, and associated holes that plumbers somehow always seem to make way to large for just the pipes, there were some droppings. Black, rice grain sized, dry, and really not that many of them.
"These droppings are of mice, by the looks of it, but I will take a sample, and will confirm with the lab." as I shoved some in a small cellophane bag and labeled them with the date and customers name.
"Let me guess, you just started hearing these rodents in the last few weeks?" A fairly safe guess, as there were not many droppings and the weather had recently changed to become cold enough for mice to move inside.
"Exactly, about two weeks ago, right when the first cold snap hit." Angela replied. She sounded almost excited, as if trying to provide information to hopefully crack the case.
"Well let's see where else we might see them, as the plumbing pipes go into the floor, maybe there are signs in the basement?" I asked.
"Oh, that is possible, I haven't really checked for them there. But here is the door to the basement, just watch your step, this staircase isn't exactly the greatest".
I didn't find anything wrong with them, actually compared to a lot of basement steps, this one was quite all right.
The basement itself was also much nicer than most. It was well lit, high ceilings, and there was very little junk in it. Some basements are so packed with forgotten crap, it was sickening. In the trade we politely refer to it as: "home inventory." But in all reality, it was just trash that should have been pitched a long time ago.
I scanned the ceiling for plumbing pipes and located where the kitchen sink pipes went through the floor. I grabbed a short step ladder that was stashed in the basement to get a closer look.
Angela was curious enough to get really close, even though from her vantage point, there was no way she could see what I saw.
"Ha, here we have some more, it appears that the critters have been using the plumbing perforations to get to your kitchen cabinet," as I was gesturing at the holes "as there are some more droppings right here!" pointing at a ledge of the foundation wall.
I looked down at Angela. As I said, from her vantage point there was no way she could see what I saw. I could look her in the eye and be polite, explaining whatever I could think of about mice, while gazing right down her sweater.
Did I only imagine it or did Angela change her body language? Somehow, I couldn't tell for sure, but somehow, I think I saw a faint smile pass over her face.
As I climbed down, she didn't strike me quite as scared of rodents as she was before.
"Let's see if we can find a place where they might have been coming in" I said, shining my oversize flash light into nooks and crannies. "Well, this hole here, with the gnaw marks, that is an obvious one." I said triumphantly.
"That small?" Angela sounded unbelievably.
I got on the step ladder again and got a close up look. "Oh, for sure, also there are the same droppings right near it. As you may know, mice need a hole no larger than a dime to get inside." I caught myself looking past her face again. Did it seem like she had repositioned her sweater? I could see not only some very pleasing cleavage, but also the edges of her bra. I am sure I would have noticed that before if that was showing then.
Angela was standing right below me, looking up and innocently just peering at the tiny hole.
We looked around some more and didn't find any other super obvious holes, even though there were some that were questionable.
"Let me get some material from my vehicle to close these holes right off, and I will also get some traps. Well, that is if you are ok with that?"
Angela couldn't have answered any quicker: "Oh, that would be great! Catch them all and please do, close every hole."
That last comment rang in my ears more than once, "close every hole" as I rummaged through my supplies and picked up some metal fiber reinforced adhesive and a few traps, preloaded with bait. I had some ideas as to what hole I wanted to plug, right then and there!
Walking back to the porch, Angela was standing there, arms crossed, and oh! Did she do that on purpose? Her boobs were almost piling out of her sweater!
Almost giddy she hurried down the stairs ahead of me. She offered to hold the flash light, which really wasn't necessary, as the basement was plenty well lit, but she did anyway.
I plugged the few holes we discovered, and set the traps.
When I set the last trap, next to a storage shelving unit and some lawn furniture and some other outdated chairs, my eye was caught by a large hole.
