Sigma Lambda Upsilon Tau, Amanda
My heart skipped a beat. My hand trembled.
I was getting closer. There was something happening to the Sigma Lambda Upsilon Tau pledge sisters and I wanted to know what. Last Friday night I'd helped McKenzie, a girl I really liked, with her freshman initiation. I'd gone through that last year and it had changed me.
At first the shift had been subtle. My boyfriend started getting lucky. Then my next boyfriend got lucky on the first date. And then the three boyfriends after him got lucky on every date. Over the summer I stopped having boyfriends—at least exclusive ones. I just hooked up.
Now, at least once a day, I slicked my panties when talking to some guy. He didn't even have to be hot, although it helped. Last Wednesday I'd clenched so hard talking to my Civic Law Professor that I had been in danger of squirting. I wasn't even into older dudes. A year or two, fine, but Professor Edmans was like some I-need-to-revise-my-will age and I still needed my fake ID to go bar hopping for another year and two months. I was not the only one. I'd listened to the gossip. All four of the girls I'd rushed with last year were what some might consider easy. Most of us had been virgins when we pledged.
There was a mystery and I wanted to solve it. I could've run. I should've run. But I was curious and I owed it to my sisters if I could help us. But my gut told me that if I dug too deep, if I stayed too long, there would be a point of no return. Right now, my gut was twisting in knots.
My hand struck Dr. Emily Hawthorn's door in three quick raps. She was the Assistant Dean at the university. She held a lot of power over us students. When she summoned you, you came. She was also a Sigma Lambda Upsilon Tau Alumna. I had been summoned.
"Come."
One word, a very suggestive word, and fuck me if parts of me didn't respond. Heart aflutter, I eased the door open.
Dr. Hawthorn's office was huge. At least it was huge when comparing it to the offices of a most Professors. Off to the right there was a stout oak school marm type desk with comfy visitor's chairs. In the back left there was a sitting area with two sectionals and a glass coffee table. Two single-pane windows interrupted the wall-to-wall-to-ceiling book shelves. The room smelled of book bindings, leather and lemon tea. It was like a private library in here. Kimberly, the sister who had "helped" me with my freshman initiation, sat on one of the sectionals. She greeted me with a hesitant smile before her attention returned to our host.
"Ms. Whittaker, a pleasure to finally meet you. Kim tells me good things about you."
I took Dr. Hawthorn's proffered hand. Her handshake was very feminine. Like mine.
In fact we had a few things in common. She and I were both tall. Her golden blond hair was a close match for mine. But her eyes were a kind of burnt-cinnamon brown while mine were ho-hum, common-girl blue. And of course, she was older than me. But I couldn't tell how much older. She might've been forty. She might've been sixty. There was no silver in her hair, but that could be died. Her skin didn't seem paper thin, but there were winkles around her eyes, the type you got from too much smiling. "A pleasure to meet you too, Dr. Hawthorn."
"Oh, please, we're sisters. Call me Emily." She waved to the sectional. "Won't you join Kim, Ms. Whittaker?"
"Amanda," I said and seated myself next to Kimberly.
"Tea? It's herbal." I noticed there was already a steaming cup in front of Kimberly. It was half full. It was where the lemon sent was coming from.
"I...okay." I supposed if it was herbal it wouldn't keep me awake. I already had trouble getting enough sleep between my roommate's and my orgasm dreams. I'd wake up coming my brains out and then have to listen while she did the same. Ashley and I took turns washing each other's bedsheets because it had to be done every couple of days.
Emily poured my tea and set it on the coffee table. There was sugar and cream and...a pill?
"Party favor," Emily said in response to the question in my eyes. She seated herself on the armrest of the opposing sectional. She was wearing slacks so it wasn't as lewd as it might've been when she man spread. "It'll make things easier—on you. But, honestly, I hope you don't take it. It's more fun that way."
I had reached for the tea before I'd seen the pill. My fingers were still on the handle and the cup began to rattle against the saucer. Tea slopped over. "What's more fun?" I had to repeat myself because the first time I said it the words were no louder than a whisper.
"Your education, dear."
"My education?"
"Let's not play games, Amanda. You're one of the smart ones. I mean, we're all smart. Sigma Lambda Upsilon Tau does not accept dummies into our ranks, but you're one of the curious ones. Not many girls figure out that the new...urges...are intentional. Not before I meet with them at least." She got a far away look in her eyes. "I didn't. Not when it had been my turn."
With my eyes on the tea, I noticed the straps under the glass top of the coffee table. They were the kind of under-the-mattress straps used by men to make sure their woman couldn't get away when things got too intense. I couldn't lift my tea, not without spilling it, so I left the cup on its saucer and sat back. It felt like there was a snake slithering through my intestines and I thought I might sick up. I felt worse than when it was that time of the month. "But why?"
"I'm afraid I can't tell you that, Amanda. Not before you make the decision to join us."
"I can choose?"
"Of course. We won't force this on you, dear." Emily pointed to the exit. "You can walk out that door right now. You'll receive a full refund on your rent and have until the end of the month to vacate the house. I only ask that you don't talk to the younger sisters, the freshman and other sophomores about this, because it might result in me having to expel you and I don't want to do that."
"Please don't do that." I jumped in my seat, because I'd almost forgotten that Kimberly was here. "I won't lie. It's hard. When it was my turn, I was freaking out way more than you. And people will say some mean things. Like some really mean things." A sad remorseful look washed over Kimberly's face. "Like my parents do. But I like boys now." Kimberly's cheeks turned pink and her jade eyes dodged behind the curtain of her dark hair. "I mean, I always liked boys but I like them way, way more now." She looked back at me. "It's hard to explain how much better it is with boys. And I feel good about myself, so good that not even the shit-talk can get me down. Not for long, anyway. Amanda...it's really good. I promise. I want my sister. I don't want you to go."
She sounded sincere. Kimberly had never been my BFF, not even in the house. But I liked her, like, a lot. Suddenly not being her sister seemed worse than whatever was happening to me—
to us
. "And you'll tell me what's going on?"
"Once you surrender," Emily said.
Fuck, fuckity, fuck
. I had to know. Dr. Hawthorn had done this, whatever this was, and she'd turned out all right. She was the Assistant Dean of a major university.
Amiright?
"Okay." My squeaky voice cracked.
"Are you sure? Amanda, there is no going back on this. This is the point of no return."
