She Said Yes -- a Covid 19 story Ch. 11
By Pat Annon © 2021
(All characters are over 18 years old. They have no memory of anything that may or may not have happened before their eighteenth birthday. All sex acts depicted are consensual, including those involving BDSM.)
Amanda and I enjoy coffee and quiet conversation. Monday morning she observed that most people in our neighborhood are wearing masks all the time, even while jogging. She said she has little fear of the virus because everyone cooperates. I might wish my fear of what was coming could be so allayed.
I watch more TV news than she does. "It's not like that everywhere. Even though the numbers have come down, it's still really bad."
We reaffirmed our commitment to our little Covid bubble, at least until there is a vaccine. I have extended unemployment and Amanda's income from online work is increasing. Yesterday, Julie began her quarantine after her sister's wedding. She's not here for another ten days, but will return to us.
This pandemic has been oddly good for me. Julie has changed my imagination and sexual fantasies. Her enthusiasm for life is beautiful. She is free. And she has given me a whole new attitude of respect for women: an attitude that values listening, caring, and loving. She freed me from myself, my solipsistic prison.
I was my own worst enemy when it came to relationships. Julie showed me how to get out of the way; how to be a partner in pleasure, how to have fun together with another. Covid brought Julie to me.
But first, Covid brought Amanda into my condo. Even after months of daily contact, Amanda's presence here with me feels like a dream. Some mornings I wake fearing today is the day she will leave. I know it will happen. I count every moment she is here as precious. Between Amanda's efforts to help me live a purposeful life and Julie's gift of freedom, I have been blessed by this Covid lockdown.
At least once a day I have to resist the temptation to kneel before Amanda, kissing her shoe or her toes. But that is not our relationship. When I committed to a day of chastity, she let me kiss her foot as a seal for my commitment. I took those moments seriously as I worked at living purposefully with less impulsiveness.
Some mornings, when I am not caught up in fear of abandonment, I wonder about the combination of freedom and obedience. I think about being free and getting out of my own way. I wonder what it would be like to let go and be wholly obedient to Amanda. Some mornings I think about giving her the key to my freedom and letting her decide. But then I feel the need to masturbate. Without the cage, I find this impulse impossible to resist, usually twice a day.
Over our morning coffee, Amanda told me a former client has asked for a custom video. She said he's into CP, but his butt has a hard time cashing the checks his fantasies write. "He asks for a hard spanking, but the reality draws a safe word."
In any case, he has this fantasy about being caned. He thinks he wants a judicial caning. Amanda has told him he would have a hard time with a nursery cane. Like me, he has yet to experience cane.
Still, to feed his fantasy as an online client, Amanda planned this video for him: a submissive, caned for the very first time, describes the experience as it happens, what it feels like, the fear, the pain, the anticipation, the dread before the next stroke. This is exactly the kind of video that will keep her client coming back for more.
Of course, Amanda has thought of a candidate for the video. "I don't believe I've ever used a cane on you, have I?"
"I've never been caned by anybody."
"I have a project that could use your inexperience. I want to make a video where we talk about your very first caning as it happens. But, of course, you would have to be up for it."
"I have to want to be caned?"
"Or at least act like it."
"Is this an important client?"
"He's been with me longer than you have. He can be flaky, sometimes disappearing for months. But he shows up on time when he makes an appointment. He put down a big deposit for this custom video. I need someone, someone Covid safe, someone who has never received a serious caning."
"Well, of course you do. And it would seem I'm just the man for you. What do I need to do to get ready?"
"Oh, nothing at all. We will use the pony as a caning horse -- Don't look that concerned -- It's not to ride, but to bend over. We will pad it so it can support you comfortably. If I need to, I can tie you down. That way you can enjoy the cane without worrying about staying in position."
"Enjoy the cane?
"Clients do come back so they must. I know I enjoy delivering one. I love the feel of the cane in my hand as it whips the air. I love the marks I make when it strikes. I take pride in well striped flesh. I love the sounds the cane makes and the distress of the client. I love the delicious suffering after I deliver a perfect stroke. I wait for it. I prolong it, the suffering, that is. I love the after glow of fear as I prepare to bring the next one. I like deciding where I will strike, then striking, then enjoying the moment. It is all good."
"For you, maybe."
"No, I think for both. There is the act of submission, the acceptance of imminent, awful pain at my hand. I feel the client's love and devotion. I am gratified by their fear, terror, and trust in me. I know the client's need for the caning to end, and the shear will power it takes for it to continue. I know their desire; the power of my will overcoming theirs. I give them a reason to live, stroke after stroke. And they love it. They come back for more."
"I've never been caned."
"You've never been properly whipped either."
"When you put it like that, there is so much to look forward to," I joked.
"Riding a wooden pony wasn't part of your expectation, but now, don't you have a secret desire to ride again?"
"Um, not today, but someday."
"Exactly my point. Experiences like that become fantasies you want to do again."
"What I might want, what I covet, is to see you aroused by my predicament. Watching you watch me on the horse by myself was stunning."
"You noticed, did you?"
"Hard to miss."
"I did enjoy being close, watching you ride, feeling your struggles, twisting the clamps. It was like foreplay to the thrilling moment your will was crushed by my pony. I haven't been that aroused by a submissive in a long time. You reminded me what I miss about having in-person sessions."
"Yeah, well..."
"Online sessions are basically work without reward, except the money. It's more like a job than a calling. Some in-person sessions are also just work, but, every now and then, someone comes along who reminds me why I got into this in the first place."
So, just like that, my first caning is planned without a set date. I don't look forward to it. Still, Amanda needs a bottom for a caning video and the bottom is going to be mine. I have my concerns, but just imagine if I was able to arouse Mistress Amanda once again. I can fantasize about suffering at her hand and being broken by her will. But mostly, my newest fantasy is to give my body for her desire. Amanda is precious to me. I long to suffer for her pleasure, perhaps like the heroine who succumbs to Count Dracula's bite.