Serenity

Brian couldn't believe he was doing this. Why was he meeting her? Why did she make his loins stir? He couldn't help the tingle deep in his cock, no matter how hard he wished could. Kristina was his enigma.

The Starbucks was quiet as he stared at the cup of coffee cooling in his mug. It was a small shop with plates of glass for the front wall, showing the dreary clouds overhead. It wasn't cold enough to snow but the rain would freeze overnight if it came. It was days like today that made Brian wonder if it was better too look out of a hole in the earth you knew you could crawl out of, or stand on a mountain you weren't sure you could climb down.

He felt in control, though he knew control was a simple illusion created in his mind. The only real thing he could control was his actions and at times his attitude. Not even his heart could be gripped tight enough to do as he wished it would and that was why he sat here where he sat. He thought of a meme where a brain was smashing a heart into submission because it wanted something and then in the next slide it was following along behind as a battered and bruised heart trod forward happily having his way.

The thought of submission and Kristina kneeling in front of him caused another throbbing tingle.

Damn her!

He thought to himself harshly, then more muted,

damn me.

He watched a beat up sedan, a Chevy celebrity from the early 90s he thought, park with a woman driving. She could have been anyone but Brian knew it was her. He tried not to watch her as she came in. She wore a long sleeved sweater and tight jeans with those god awful snow shoes that wouldn't hold up in a flurry with super glue and duct tape.

Brian stood, the only gentlemanly thing to do, and together they sat down. "Would you like something to drink?"

"Hey, no I'm alright, thanks though," She replied looking at him with large green eyes, her face was pale with a dusting of freckles across her cheeks and her hair was long, pulled back into a pony tail. It was very dark brown and looked to be even darker because it was either wet, or gelled. Eyeliner and mascara seemed to be her only make up, making her eyes even bigger than they were. The green in them showed a spirit he loved, but Brian knew how much shit she had been through.

He knew she would turn him down for any offer of hospitality but he also knew better than to accept that. He looked at the barista, a pretty but rather plump girl in her twenties, her glasses barely holding onto her nose, "Can I have a caramel frappe?"

"Sure thing!" was all she said and in a few seconds they were a whirl behind the counter.

Kristina looked down in her lap and then back up at him, "Thanks." Brian only nodded.

"So what's up?" Brian attempted to make his voice light. He knew already that she had a heavy question to ask him, a favor she had called it but with Kristina, it was never a simple favor.

"Oh, you know, same shit different day," she answered fidgeting in her seat as she looked around. The barista brought the drink over and as Kristina put her hand on it, he seized the opportunity to connect with her. He reached out and put his hand on hers.

It was his heart. It was too damn much for him. His mind was losing control to it again. While stroking her fingers with his thumb Brian fought a war in himself that spanned his entire adulthood, but only took a few seconds of thought.

He knew she was bad for him romantically, but he couldn't make himself not want her, care for her, and desire to make her smile. When she smiled it, not even the sun outshone it on the brightest days. But he had let his heart lead him down this path way twice before. Not once, TWICE, and both times he had been sickly burned by her. His heart had brought them here but his mind would control the endeavor. In that moment the two beings that controlled his actions made a truce. He could have her, but only if he remained in control. His heart begrudgingly agreed to that, daring to hope but expecting the pain.

Hope for the best, plan for the worst right?

"What is really going on?" Brian asked, firm and with his emotions in careful rein.

"Too much to tell Brian," her eyes flashed at him and she began looking around. She looked trapped and afraid for a moment and he worried for her, trapped in her own mind.

He knew what it would take to free her, but he wondered if she did. "How much time do you have? Because I have all day." School was out today, a Friday, and he was glad for it. He also had no homework to grade today so his entire day was free and clear by all accounts. He had even gone to the gym already.

"Brian," she began. Tears were walled behind her doe eyes and he felt his heart leap and his mind once again pull it back. Whatever she was about to say, he knew he was going to help her with regardless of what it was. "You remember what you told me a long time ago? When we were kids and this all started between us?"

Brian nodded and looked at the table a moment as he remembered the very first promise he made to his very first 'True Love'. He refused to go back on any promise he made unless physically impossible, but for that reason he was careful on who and what he promised. "If you ever needed me, I would help you."

She stared at his face and when their eyes met, fear was there. She was never this blunt, not once in his life could he remember her coming out to him so quickly. Kristina was hidden and guarded. She was the source of much of her own pain, but she never let herself out of that cage. He would have to break it. Brian couldn't help but realize he was forming a plan in his mind already.

She started again after a deep breath. Her breasts weren't large by the standard but as she inhaled, the sweater stretched on her narrow frame. She looked to have a wonderful figure under it, not too thin but very little fat. Brian remembered the stretch marks striping her hips and belly, the stretched skin from carrying a child, and the scars it put on a woman's self-confidence. He still wanted her as much, or more so, than before. She was real and when confident, very sexy. He thought of her hooped earrings swaying while she took him in her mouth.

"Brian, I need you." Her voice trembled.

"What do you need?" he asked. He was afraid of the answer but something reassured him not to be.

"I need, well, I need a lot of things honestly." Kristina's voice came out in a rush, the warm tears spilling over as she started again, "So many things have gone wrong and I'm trying my hardest to control them and...It's too much Brian. It's just too much."

He listened patiently. One thing he had learned in life was patience. Good things come to those who wait, but only if they do not wait too long. He could also remember times when he let things slide past him.

She went on, sniffing while wiping at her eyes, "So many things have gone wrong, and there's just too much to tell right now. Some of it I may never be able to tell you. Hell, I don't even know how to deal with it all myself."

Brian only nodded, concerned. His heart went out to her and the situation she was in, whatever it was, but he knew that whatever it was, she had gotten herself into it. Plain and simple, it was her fault. Pointing that out wasn't going to help her though, she knew it was her own fault. Kristina wasn't dumb in that sense, but she definitely didn't make the best life decisions.

He wanted to touch her again, since her hand had went to her face. It was selfish in a way to want to simply touch her, but he knew that she needed it as well. Waiting until her tears subsided took a minute.

"I'm sure I look like a mess right now," She peered at him and coughed a laugh, "Is my make up running?"

He gave a small smile, letting it touch his eyes, "Not at all."

She wiped at her face again then looked in the weak reflection of the glass to her right. The lighting wasn't quite right but Kristina seemed satisfied enough. She gripped her frappe without drinking it, the sleeves of her sweater brought up to her palms as if she were cold. Brian knew her body wasn't likely cold, but her heart and soul were.

Finally he broke the silence that began to stretch between them, "What can I do right now?"

Her eyes flashed at him. They were wide and open but intense. It was like staring into green fires framed by a black forest while the moon's ambient light reflected in her. Then she looked down at her hands and muttered, "I can't believe I'm doing this," and he watched a battle rage on her face for a moment before a look of utter defeat came over her. Her shoulders even slumped. "Do you remember a joke we had a few years ago?"

Brian knew exactly which joke she was talking about. It had evolved into a fantasy of his almost as soon as they had made it together. He played dumb anyway to force her to say it. "We have made a ton of jokes over the years Kris," He said smiling at the hundreds of laughs they had shared. There really were more tears than laughs, but when it was good, it was good with them as friends.

She shook her head again but surprised him by pressing on, "You remember the one where we talked about me living with you and you joked about making me your slave?"

Brian's heart skipped a beat. That was the one he thought she meant. It amazed him she had said it, but it also didn't amaze him that she had come to this point. His heart immediately screamed yes, and instantly his aching loins followed suit but luckily his brain held tight rein on his impulses and waited for the catch. "Yes, I remember it, in fact I've thought about it many times."

She seemed surprised and confused, "You have?"

He wanted to reassure her, "Sure, come on, you know my desires and fantasies, I've shared that much with you." At one point they had made an attempt at being the closest of friends and that had quickly turned into a more sexual sexting style exchange than Brian was comfortable with. His marriage had been failing and he knew it, a man has needs, but he was no cheater. They had stopped talking for a long while after that but she had seemed to understand his loyalties. He remembered the feelings of break up that came with it and that had confused him for a while.

"So, doesn't mean-"she started but he cut her off.

"And look at you, you are beautiful and sexy Kris, There isn't many a man that walks past you that doesn't wonder what's under your clothes." That part was true enough but Brian remembered well enough through a few shared pictures. Hell, her still remembered how good she looked as a teenager when they first met and she mailed him a bikini picture. He remembered being sixteen and calling her on the phone practically begging for a picture in her bra, arguing that it was the same as a bikini. He laughed to himself as he thought about that, which brought a confused look from her across the small table; she had argued that if it was the same thing then why did he need a picture of her in her bra? Kris had won that argument.

Kris didn't say anything, just shifted uncomfortably at his smile. He explained the memory to her. "Oh my god I remember that!" Her laugh was musical but the snort she produced from her nose sent them both into fits of laughter as she blushed in shame and hid her face. His heart thumped in his chest as she laughed.

Kristina looked at him the same way he always imagined her looking at him when they had been kids. They had come so far from that but she was still there, waiting beneath all of the emotional scars and poor choices.

"So, I'm not the only one that's thought about that too huh? Been picturing me naked have you?" She teased him. It was a good sign. He knew what she wanted but he was going to make sure she said it.

"What if I had? What if I was?" He asked her, daring her silently as he leaned back and looked intently into her face. She was his and he knew it but it was simply in letting her struggle now. She had after all come to him, not him to her.

She blushed, furiously and looked down but not into her lap. Kris's eyes flashed up from her down tilted face, "What do you think about?"

"You know what I think about you Kris, because I think the same things I've thought about for years, my fantasies haven't changed." He had shared his sexual desires with her objectively as a friend and her mutual desire for what he wanted had led up to their last falling out. She had wanted to fulfill someone's desires that matched his, and then it proceeded into more 'what ifs' than he cared to admit. He had never been able to get those things out of his head though. Even now he wanted to make her take her panties off and hand them to him.

That was how he was going to do it. That was how he was going to ensure her commitment if she asked for what he thought she was going to ask for.

Kristina looked at him levelly for a moment and then back down before her eyes looked up at him from under her bangs. She was uncomfortable because she was self-conscious and he thought a little ashamed but he also was aware of how she squirmed in her chair. She must be hot thinking about it and that just added to his ego. Brian reminded himself not to let his ego get the better of him.

"What if we actually did that?" She finally asked, shifting her body to the other side of the chair. She was trying to hide her squirming admirably.

Brian stared into her face intensely, "I would like that very much, but I have questions and I need two things from you first."

"Okay, what do you want to know?" Her voice was level but tinged with apprehension. It didn't shake though and he was glad for that.

"Why do you want it?" He asked her.

Her entire body deflated in the chair. He was afraid he had pushed too far too fast but it was too late now. He held his countenance and waited. Either she would rise or she would fall, but the question still stood.

She began slowly, "I am so tired Brian," She leaned on the table and he put his hand on hers to reassure her. He wanted her to know he was engaged and listening, to give her security and confidence. "I am so tired of getting it wrong, of being the wrong person and doing the wrong things, I am tired of being weak and failing. I am tired of not being happy and most of all..." She paused as she looked at him, "I want it, and you are the only person I trust that much."

Brian let that sink into himself. He felt honored and said as much into the air quietly. He wasn't sure she heard it but he didn't care if she did or didn't. He was taken aback.

"I've spent so much of my life with no one proud of me, no one happy with me," She went on, "and I feel so much and I'm so broken.." she trailed off.

Brian had desires of training her. He knew her heart well enough that he thought he knew what she really needed. The kind of love and discipline and stability she needed would be demanding but he thought it would be possible to give that to her. His silence as he thought allowed her to go on.

"I just want to know what it is like to be truly wanted and pleasing and have someone proud of me, and the ways I think about that with you are, well, they are different. They aren't normal Brian and I want them. You are the only person I know and trust to give that to me." Her voice was pleading him.

He liked it but he didn't want to hear her beg him anymore. It didn't do anything for either of them. "Okay, I don't see how I can disagree here because I stand to gain so much," he paused while looking at her, waiting and watching her. She seemed to be on the brink of a break down. He named his final condition. "If you truly want this, I will agree but you have to do one thing to prove to me you want this."

Relief washed her face but knew fear came right behind it as she went from a smile to a small scared expression. "What is it?"

"Your panties," He said simply. Kristina's eyes got wide. "The ones you are wearing right now. Go to the bathroom and take them off. Set them on the table in front of me and I will accept you."

She bit her lip and moaned a little while thinking about it but she persevered after a moment and bit her lip. She stood up and walked away and he stared triumphantly at her ass as it swayed. She was a narrow thing and it pleased him but her hips were wide enough. Both of his hands spread out would cover each ass cheek.

When she came back, she clutched her hands together very tightly at her waist with her head down. A pink thong dropped conspicuously into his lap. She sat down blushing and he smiled at her. She had not followed directions exactly but it was good enough to please him for now.

"Good girl, I am proud of you. Are you wet?" His voice was low as he picked up the underwear. It could have been a few pink strings and had more material, but the lace at the crotch was a nice decoration.

Kris's face reddened to a rose pink and she didn't answer at first. He had to repeat the question before she did, "Yes," was all it was though. He couldn't help but see her fighting a smile with her face down.

"So let me make this clear. Just like these panties are now mine, you are now mine. I will protect you, I will guide you, and I will discipline you. Your pain is mine, your pleasure is mine." His boldness sucked her in and together they forgot about everyone else around them as the clouds struck out with a bit of lighting, arcing up into the sky instead of down to the Earth. "I will care for you and you will pleasure me. Your body is mine and with it we will craft your heart and train your mind. Do you understand?"

She nodded, unable to say anything at first.

"I need you to say it Kris," His voice was comforting but commanding.

"I understand," she was still blushing.

It wasn't enough, he wanted her to say it, more for him than for her. "You understand what?"

She let out a breath, looked him in the eye and said, "I understand I am yours."