Sensitive Research

This is the opening chapter in a multi-part story, which sets the stage for the rest of the story.

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I sat on a small metal folding chair, not the most comfortable setting, but it was what was available. It was dark in the room, which had no windows, but for a little bit of light coming through approximately an inch-and-a-half gap between two solid sliding doors. My portfolio with a pad of papers sat balanced on my knees, with one of those little book lights attached to it, to provide me with enough light with which to read. I sat back in the chair making myself as comfortable as possible, because I knew that once the session started, I would be leaning forward for anywhere from one to two hours in order to see as much of the action as possible.

After waiting about five minutes, I heard the door in the other room open, and I slid forward to peer through the gap. I saw a woman walk in, move to the center of the room, and turn and face the door from where she entered. I began taking my notes, the third such session in my research study.

She bowed her head, and moved her hands behind her back, clasping them. Before she turned away from me, I got enough of a glance to see that she appeared to be about my age, early 40s, white, and looked what most people would describe as a "typical suburban housewife." She carried "baby weight," that little bit extra in her hips, ass, and breasts that typify women who have had a baby or two. The extra weight on her was not unattractive by any means, in fact, it made her look healthy and vibrant. I had not yet received the survey that she, like all research subjects had been asked to complete, so I didn't have her exact height and weight and didn't know if she did in fact have children. But the extra weight didn't look bad on her at all, and I thought for a woman her age, she looked very good.

She was dressed in casual, but expensive-looking clothes, and had flats on. Her long blonde hair was pulled back in a light ponytail, and she had elegant jewelry on - large diamond earrings, a necklace, and bangle bracelets, one of which had many diamonds on it - jewelry that looked too expensive for my budget as a college professor. She wore light makeup, and appeared as if she were dressed for doing errands in town for the afternoon, which may have been exactly what she had been doing before coming here.

After a few minutes of watching her standing there motionlessly, I heard the door open again. In walked my other research subject, who went by the name Mistress Cecilia. I knew from my interview with her that she was 35, and she was white as well, but was dressed much more provocatively in a black bustier which thrust her large breasts forward and exposed the top half of each one to just above her areola. Below that were black hip hugger shorts that went just to the top of her thighs, barely covering her ass. Her brown hair too was pulled back in a ponytail, but a much tighter and more severe one than her client. Her makeup was also heavier and more exaggerated. Her black patent leather boots went to mid-thigh, and with their three inch heels, she looked to be about 6 feet tall, allowing her to tower over her subject by at least a half foot. She was more height-weight proportionate than her client,

All of this information about Mistress Cecilia - who I shortened to "MC" in my notes for the sake of brevity - was recorded in my notepad as well. I much preferred to take notes on my laptop, as I did in the first two sessions, I observed, rather than having to transcribe the written notes. But MC explained that this client liked no background music or other noise in the room during her session, and she was afraid that the tapping of my fingers on the keyboard would distract her, so I agreed to take the notes in writing.

She stood in front of her client for a few moments, just looking at her. She then walked around her once, looking up and down her body. She returned to the front of her, and said in a quiet but strong voice, "Undress. Everything, including your jewelry. Now."

The client, who I had assigned the number 1-03 to represent the third client of domme number one, immediately began complying without lifting her head and looking MC in the eye. She moved quickly, but not in too rushed a manner, to remove all of her jewelry and place it on a small table that was positioned at the side of the room. My narrow field of view through the gap in the sliding doors still allowed me to see most of the room, other than the immediate corners closest to me. Thus, I had no difficulty observing subject 1-03 as she put the jewelry on the table, and then reached behind her to lower the zipper in the back of her dress. She let the dress fall to her ankles, and stepped out of it, folding it carefully and placing it on the table. This was followed by her flats, which she removed from her feet and placed them under the table. She then reached behind her, undoing the clasp of her bra, and with a small lean forward, let it fall off of her shoulders and her breasts, and placed it on the table. The last piece of clothing was her panties, which too were placed on the table.

As she walked back to the spot she had left in front of MC only a few moments before, now totally naked, it struck me that she showed absolutely no hesitation in complying with her Mistress's commands. She knew I was sitting there observing; all of the research subjects had to sign an informed consent form which stated that I would be observing the session. They of course had the opportunity to refuse, and at the outset of the research project, I was worried about my ability to recruit the clients into the study. But to my surprise, when presented with the opportunity and upon understanding the guarantee of confidentiality, so far almost none had refused. Subject 1-03 was one of those who agreed, and she didn't seem at all fazed by the fact that I was sitting only feet away watching everything that was going on.

When she was back in the spot in front of MC, who had not moved but had simply watched her undress, I had the chance to see subject 1-03 without her clothes on. As I had observed before, she did carry what looked to be about 20-03 pounds above what most people would consider an ideal weight for someone of her height.

At age 43, I was probably roughly the same age as her, and I did not have children. But I was a little envious, as now that she was naked I could see that I was probably 10-20 pounds heavier than her and I did not believe the extra weight looked as good on me as it did on her. Her ass (I tended to use vernacular language in my notes, as it was generally quicker and easier than using technical terms, and I could translate them later as I wrote up my notes - they also generally had the advantage of being shorter, and easier to write or type) was quite full and round, but it had a lovely shape to it, and was not out of proportion to her body. The same was true of her breasts; I had seen a quick glance of them as she returned to the spot in front of MC, and they were quite large, larger than mine in fact, but they had very little droop to them. She had a soft face, and her skin all over her body looked flawless. All in all, she was quite attractive.

When she returned to the spot in the center of the room, MC once again walked around her, looking her over. The client still kept her head down, an act that I knew from my background research many submissives had been taught.

After circling her once, MC nodded approvingly, and walked to the opposite side of the room from where her client had left her clothes. She opened a cabinet mounted on the wall, and took out something that I could not see. She walked back to subject 1-03, and raising her hands to her, proceeded to put something around her neck. When she dropped her hands again, I could see that it was some sort of collar, like a dog collar. She then returned to the same cabinet and came back with something else in her hands. As she reached up and attached it to the collar, I could see that it was a leash, which she held in the other end of in her hand.

As I furiously took notes about all of this, I heard MC say to the client, "Down on all fours." The woman immediately complied, putting her naked body down on her hands and knees on the carpet, while MC continued to hold onto the leash.

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I am a social psychologist at a major research university in the United States. I had completed my doctorate eight years ago at an Ivy League university, and in the subsequent period that I had been a faculty member, I had established a strong reputation for the research I have done on individuals at the margins of society. This had included child abusers and their victims, victims of spousal abuse, and people with severe eating disorders. This was not easy research to do; it was often hard to find subjects, and once I did, getting them to trust a stranger enough to open up to them was a challenge. But I had worked hard to develop the trust that would allow me to do research that was very well respected and has been published in some of the nation's leading psychology journals.

I had long been curious about the BDSM scene. I had not had any firsthand experience, but had a couple of friends who had shared conversations about their experiences with me, and I had read a few articles in both scholarly journals as well as the popular press. But I had never pursued the subject as a potential research study before I had tenure, because I knew that it would be too difficult and time consuming. I knew there was no way I would be able to get the articles published on that topic that I would need to cement my reputation and earn tenure. So I had put it on the shelf with the intent of returning to it after I was tenured, when I would have the time, energy, and ability to fight the battles necessary to start a research study on the topic.

Well that time had finally come. I had earned early tenure three years ago because of my strong research record. Shortly after, I had begun the outlines of what a scholarly study on BDSM would look like. With all of the publicity about the 50 Shades of Gray book series, I know that many women who had never heard of BDSM in the past, or may have heard of it but knew little about it, were now discussing it in book groups, at coffee klatches, and in other settings. Thus, I decided that the time was right to work on the outlines of the study.

There was some scholarly research out there about BDSM, but most of it focused on male doms and their clients, both male and female. There was a little less out there about female dommes and their clients, and almost all of that was focused on male subs. Where there was a gap was in studies about dommes and female clients, so this is what I decided to study, hoping that I could make a real contribution to the literature. I also chose this because I felt that as a female, it would be easier for me to gain the trust of the research subjects if I was the same gender as them.

It took me almost two full years, and four revisions of my application, to battle our university's Institutional Review Board to get permission to conduct the study. No research study could be conducted without first gaining the approval of the IRB. In an almost-unprecedented action, I was even required to come in for a meeting with the members of the IRB.

When I had first proposed to videotape not just my interviews with my subjects, both dommes and their clients, but the sessions between them as well, I was met with strong resistance from the IRB. As one old biddy from the English Department said, "I am not going to be a party to allowing a professor at our university to create blue movies." Yes, she actually said "blue movies," like it was the 1960s or something. But nothing I could do would convince them to allow me to videotape the sessions, so I had to give up on that and rely on direct observation instead. They also would not allow me to use my doctoral student research assistants to observe the sessions. They raised objections about how this could be damaging to them, and they insisted that they could only be used to help conduct the interviews, transcribe them (and my observation notes), and do the data analysis. So I had no choice but to agree, and to do all the observations of sessions between the dommes and their subs myself.

The other major restriction they put on the study was that it could not be conducted in our metropolitan area. They were concerned that as much as I would guarantee confidentiality to all of the subjects, there as an outside chance that when presenting or writing about the research, that someone could be identified from the information that I presented about them. They felt that the promises of confidentiality would be stronger if I did my research in other locations around the United States.

The major problem with this is that it would greatly increase the costs of the study. Needless to say, it was not going to be easy to find funders for this research. No government agency was going to touch it, and I knew it was unlikely my university would do so, for fear of gaining the religious and political right attacking it. After some digging around, however, I was able to find an open-minded and progressive family foundation that was willing to provide the resources necessary for me to travel to four cities around the country to conduct my site visits there. So, armed with some funding, and after a long battle the blessing (or more accurately, the acquiescence) of our IRB, I was able to start the study.

Somewhat to my surprise, it was not that difficult to recruit the research subjects. In the age of the Internet, it was easy to locate dommes in other cities. I contacted a number directly, explaining who I was, providing a link to my website at the university so they could see I was a legitimate scholar, and explained what I was hoping to accomplish in the study. A few wanted nothing to do with me, and I decided a few were just a little too shady to deal with, but the vast majority said they were willing to at least talk to me about the study.

So following some phone and Skype calls, I was able to recruit eight dommes in the first city. I knew there'd be some attrition during the study, so I was hoping to end up with at least five who stayed in the study to the end. And I was hoping that each would connect me with at least five clients who would be willing to complete a survey, let me observe their session, and interview them about it afterwards. Thus, I hoped to have at least 25 subs in each of the four cities, for a total of 100 across the country. It was an ambitious agenda, and I knew it would take a while to complete it, but I felt this was a real opportunity to do some groundbreaking research.

I was on my first trip out of town, and MC was the first domme on my list. I was conducting my observation of the third client of hers that I was able to recruit into the study.

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Subject 1-03 was on her hands and knees, collar around her neck, with a leash attached to it. MC began to walk around the room, leading her by holding the leash. She wasn't walking quickly; she sauntered at a leisurely pace, and wherever she went, her client followed along on her hands and knees. As she crawled, I saw her large breasts sway back and forth, gravity pulling them toward the ground. I put in my observation notes that she did not appear to be in any pain or distress, she was in fact fairly nonchalant in her crawling behind the leash. As she went around the room, with her knees and hands moving along, I was able to see that she appeared to have very little, if any pubic hair.

After no more than a minute of this, MC stopped in the middle of the room, and said, "Sit." Subject 1-03 was now facing me, and she lifted her hands off the floor and sat back on her haunches. I could now see her face and front of her body more clearly, and her legs were spread enough that my initial impression was correct - she was totally devoid of pubic hair. And now that I could inspect them more closely, I could see that her breasts were truly magnificent. As I noted before, they were larger in cup size than my own 38C breasts, and they stood prominently on her chest as she sat on her haunches. Each had an areola the size of a silver dollar and a lovely mocha brown color, setting them off quite clearly from the rest of the breast. Her nipples were also quite prominent; I could not tell if they were erect from arousal, but they were each more than a half-inch across and even longer than that, and were a crimson red color.

I found myself somewhat mesmerized looking at this woman, and I also came to realize somewhat to my surprise, aroused. I had approached my first two observations very clinically, being new to this research subject, and I was concentrating so intently on capturing what was happening in my notes that I had not thought that much about the eroticism of the situation. But now, this being the third time I was seeing one woman sexually dominate another, I was getting more comfortable with the situation, and I found myself being drawn into the eroticism of it all.

MC stepped toward her sub, and stood in front of her. The client still had her head bowed. MC said, "Worship me, my pet." The sub leaned forward, and began planting light kisses on the patent leather of her domme's boots. After doing this for a few minutes, MC said, "Higher," and she began to lightly tug on the leash, pulling her sub further up her legs. Her client continued to kiss the boots, but then reaching above them to her mistress's bare legs. It appeared that this was an activity she was very familiar with, as she seemed to know exactly what to do without much prodding from the domme.

She continued up her legs, kissing all sides of each bare leg, slowly edging upward. As she continued past her domme's knees, MC spread her legs ever so slightly, giving her sub easier access to kiss all around her legs. As subject 1-03 continued, I looked at her nipples, and saw they had grown even more erect and larger than they had been before. I could also see her breathing was becoming more rapid, and these two observations together led me to conclude that she was growing quite aroused at being forced to worship her mistress in this fashion.

As much as I tried to stay detached and clinical, I found my arousal rising as well. The way that this sub seemed to enjoy the worship of her mistress's body was incredibly erotic, and I found myself with my pen raised off the pad, just staring, wondering how high she would be going with her kisses.

She was less than an inch from the bottom of MC's shorts, and I was silently begging her to continue upward. Just as her kisses began to touch the shorts, the sub reached upward, appearing to want to push them up, or even pull them down - I couldn't tell which.

But as her hands touched the shorts, MC said in a stern but quiet voice, "Stop."

The sub immediately pulled her hands away, and sat back again on her haunches.

MC continued, "You know the rule, my pet. No touching with your hands unless you are given permission ahead of time. For this act of transgression, you will be punished."

Without saying anything else, subject 1-03 crawled over toward the table where she had earlier left her belongings, stood up, and leaned the upper half of her body across the table, resting her head on her crossed hands and flattening her large breasts against the table. The leash lay beside her on the table, still attached to the collar. This left her ample ass sticking out and prominently displayed to her mistress.

MC walked over to the cabinet on the other side of the room, and retrieved something. Again, I couldn't see what it was until she walked over and stood behind her sub. I saw then that she had what looked like a ping pong paddle in her hand. She leaned over her sub, and I heard her say in a quiet voice, "Spread your legs, my pet. I want to see you wide open back there."