Selfish

I want you. All of you. Head to toe and everything in between. Your body, your mind, your soul. The imperfections you hate that I don't. I love every bit of you, just the way you are. Especially that ass.

I want to be with you. All the time. No matter where I am. My mind wanders, triggered by a thought or a picture. A song. Your initials on a license plate. A simple word spoken in passing that holds special meaning to us both. A stranger who wears their hair like you. Dresses like you.

I want to hear your voice. When you call me your pet names. Tell me you love me, miss me. Describe how your day went. Ask me about mine and provide feedback. Share what we're doing or have planned. Even the mundane. Seduce me late at night while I'm sprawled naked on the bed in the dark and you're miles away. Be tough with me when I get bratty and pout about hanging up the phone to go to sleep or get ready for work.

I want to see your heart laid open in writing. I savor each new message and photo. Revisit past conversations. Remind myself that when we're not physically together, you still think of me. That you can be right there with a touch of your fingertips. Your words are loud despite no sound; they touch me deep inside, as though you had spoken them directly in my ear.

I want to discuss my stories with you. "Fling noodles" as we brainstorm plot ideas and character names. Hash out problem areas. Get giddy over fan comments and feedback. Simmer in our anger and confusion when faceless, heartless trolls bash the stories for no good reason. And soldier on to write another day with your encouragement.

I want to be domesticated with you. To cook meals and do chores around the house. Run errands. Go dancing, see a movie, and take trips. Just cuddle and nap on the couch on a rainy weekend. Call in sick to make love under piles of blankets in bed all day. Fall asleep in each other's arms at night then wake up next to one another in the morning. Take showers together. Have make-up sex when we fight.

I want to be kissed by you. Repeatedly. Both tenderly and roughly. You know just how to tease me. Please me. Arouse with your lips, teeth, and tongue. To make me whimper and moan. Beg. My body tremble.

I want to do kinky things with you. Attend munches and events. Make friends in the lifestyle. Participate in play parties. Uncover more secret desires. Release our inhibitions. Explore our darker sides. Bring each other to the highest of highs and then console one another when we fall into the lowest of lows.

I want to be dominated by you. Growled at that I'm yours. Have my pulse quicken and breath catch at the sound of your commands. Quiet or gruff, both make me flush. I hunger to be backed up to the wall with your thigh between my legs, pressed against my pussy. To be ordered to hump you...to only come when you say so. There is no choice but to give in when you torture my ears, neck, and breasts with your mouth. Or when I feel your hands on my body while you claim what is yours. My chest swells with pride when you say I'm a "good girl" for doing whatever you want.

I want to be bound by you. Physically. Mentally. With your hands, cuffs, or rope. My wrists held in your grip above my head or secured to the headboard. Legs restrained, together or apart. My movements and reflexes controlled. Any chance of touching you eliminated. A blindfold over my eyes so I can't see what you're going to do to me.

I want to be fucked by you. Naked and weighted down under your body while you ravage me. To lie restraint-free without a touch from either of us, using only your words to make me writhe and moan while you screw my mind most deliciously. Or the simple, light touches you've discovered that draw multiple orgasms out of me no matter where they stroke my body.

I want to be used by you. To be dragged from one position to another at your will. Overpowered when I struggle. My bare ass smacked while I'm held down. My toys used on me...in me. Your hand clutched in my hair at the back of my neck. Pressed lightly over my throat while you stare into my eyes. To remind me who's in charge.

I want to obey your rules. When you're off the grid, they give me something to focus on. They're defined with my best interest in mind. I know I will be disciplined accordingly if I break them. That you trust me to be honest with you when I have disobeyed.

I want to be comforted by you. Cuddled against you when I fall out of subspace or have a bad day. My hair stroked and kissed with my head nestled under your chin against your chest. Soothed by your words and your arms around me. Rocked until any tears subside.

I want to take care of you. To hold you when you are sad, tired, or sick. I will be your strength—someone to lean on—because even a Dom can have weak moments. As your sub, I am here for you in whatever capacity you need me. To please you or ease your pain.

I want all of these things and more.

Because I'm selfish that way. Like you.

~H