Hello all! Yes I'm finally back at it! You can spank me later for my tardiness! LOL
So I left you with a question and I received many comments back, both here on Literotica and in my email, so thank you!
Now, to answer some questions. First off, how do I end this story? Well it was pretty lopsided with your desires so I will finish all three books here. So you will get the full monty so to speak. No, I was not trying a bait and switch. I, like you, hate that! I merely was saying if this had run its course for the Literotica crowd I was more than happy to come up with an ending and then fulfill what I wanted with a third book elsewhere. That, if you have read through the comments, is not the case!
Secondly, I made the comment about lack of sex in the upcoming chapters...perhaps that wasn't the best choice of words. There will still be sex, there will still be sessions, but instead of trying to find a way or making it a point to have some sex in each and every upload, I will let it in when it's suitable instead of trying to work it in without tilting the story, as I have been doing so far. Trying to balance the story with the erotica, I mean this is an erotica site for Pete's sake!
Next, if you go back to the very first chapter I made the comment that I was putting this story on here as a thank you for letting me work on my craft here and gaining the courage before I published some mainstream stuff. I also posted for those who read my earlier work (stuff from up to fifteen years ago) I wanted to show my growth. I believe it has been a lot, of course, I've grown during this story alone and that pleases me because it means I haven't scratched the surface of how good I can get. Thanks to those who have been giving me constructive feedback, this is the only way I'm going to get better!
In all honesty, I never expected this to last this long. What was supposed to be a short story has morphed into two full novels and a third to go without much effort. If you are still reading, know that after the next two updates you will have read over a thousand pages and over three hundred thousand words dealing with Gavin and Alex. So thank you!
I blame my better than I deserve wife for all of this! After reading "Fifty Shades" trying to ascertain what all the hoopla was about I was confused. Was it a good read? Eh. The most memorable part for me, was the "inner Goddess"! I loved to find out what she was doing! Was she pouting? Dancing? Sitting in the corner? I do make a couple references in my story, as tribute to the original.
In any case, my wife asked me what I thought, I honestly don't know what all the hoopla was about. Either there is a lot of unsatisfied housewives out there or the author of that series has one hell of an agent/publicist.
She then challenged me to do better. So I did some research on the BDSM lifestyle only to find that most in the community ripped Fifty Shades apart. I also find that Christian is no Dom but a wannabe that I describe here. Just my opinion. So I decided to write my story with the idea of staying true to the Lifestyle only to find, the Lifestyle cannot and will not be defined. The beauty of BDSM. So I tried to be informative, instructional in some cases.
For those of you not in the Lifestyle, know that this is my belief of the life. It is not the only belief. It is not absolute! Like religion, BDSM has many variations and the reason for that is so that you can find a variation that you like.
BDSM isn't always about whips and chains, it is what I write about and more. Whatever your desire, you can find it in the BDSM community. From the heavy and harsh to the frilly and soft.
I have tried to show the many different choices. Gavin and Alex. Royce and Elizabeth. The Federal Judge? The women at the party. Madelyn. I cannot create characters for all the possible choices, but I am writing varying types to show, BDSM is only limited by the people in it.
Next, after these next two updates that will end book two, then next week will start book three which will wrap up some loose ends and then finish our look into the lives of Gavin and Alex by the end of the third book, and bring our time together to a close.
No, I have no idea how long it will take, as each of the first two books are over five hundred pages, I assume the third will be roughly the same. I really don't know! Sometimes a story isn't so much what I create, but what creates me. I'm at the will of my imagination, I will go as long as my imagination dictates.
Now, I do know
exactly
how this series ends, the way my characters wind up. I'm the type of writer who comes up with an ending and then amble my way to it, describing the journey as I go. But like many philosophers have said, it's not the destination that's important, but the journey. So I will try to weave my way to my ending, but I truly,
truly
have no idea how long that will take. One more book? Two? If you know, please let me know because like I said earlier, this was never supposed to be
this
long! Thankfully it just turned out that way!
I may find myself halfway through book three and have an idea for book four. It's happened before, this being a prime example, I also have a series of novels for my mainstream that started off as one book and has morphed to three...so I have a history of it.
I will leave Secret Smiles and Three Little Words up on Literotica until I am ready to post it mainstream. I figure with the editing process, the cover art process and the formatting it will be up until at least fall of 2016 or winter of 2017. At which time I will remove it. By then all of you will have read it and know the outcome.
Finally, in closing, thank you all for your encouragement. This has been fun. Like I said, I really love to write! We have a long way to go now but don't worry I promise to do my best to keep you entertained!
CJT
P.S. Oh, you ask, where have I been? Well I took a short break a while back to get my next mainstream novel ready for the editor. I did so then went back to work on SS&3LW happy as a clam. Then, like an idiot, I re-read my next mainstream release. Big mistake...Huge! Now after going through and changing it...again...it might be ready for my friend to edit it which will lead to more rewriting after she attacks it vehemently with her red pen! LOL All of you fellow authors know what I'm talking about. Just leave it alone, don't pick at it! SMH
Now, back to Gavin and Alex and let me apologize in advance. This is going to be...well...bumpy. I expect angry emails for certain. If there is a sudden stop again, know that my beloved wife has done what you wanted and taken me out back and behind the woodshed. She hates it when I do what I am about to do. Muwhahaha! I know, I'm an a-hole, but lead with your best foot I was always told! Cheers!
Chapter 45
Livy opened the door of her apartment and the sunlight filled in along with Father Jack's outline.
"Hello, Father," Livy smiled, her heart catching in her throat. The images of her intimate embrace which she now knew wasn't intended that way, filled her head with embarrassment.
"I missed you and Nora at Mass yesterday," Jack pointed out.
"I'm so sorry!" Livy gasped as she let him into her apartment. "I totally forgot to tell you we were going to Chicago for Alex's engagement party!"
"Oh," Jack sighed, relieved of his torturous worry. His last meeting with Livy had him concerned with her feelings, her leaving so abruptly. Everything. "I was concerned, well...with the way you left last time."
"I'm sorry about that," Livy said softly. "I never intended to make you uncomfortable!"
"I wasn't uncomfortable," he assured her. It sounded like the truth he thought.
"I want you to know I truly treasure your friendship and your guidance, I never meant to imply that I was falling for you," Livy explained as she set two cups of coffee on the table.
"I'm thankful for that," he said with a frown/smile mix that she didn't miss. "So, Alex is getting married?"
"Yes," Livy nodded happily. "She has found the perfect man, he is smart, successful, and handsome! He also showers her with attention and love! It's really too bad he got stuck with my sister!" Livy teased.
"Well that's good," he nodded with a smile.
For the entire week he had been concerned about her. He couldn't decide if coming over to her apartment was a good idea or not, so he decided to just wait for her to come to Mass and talk to her then. When she didn't show up at Mass he grew downright despondent, he even cut his Mass short as he couldn't do anything but stumble through the sermon. He apologized to those who brought it up as they were leaving, telling them he was coming down with an illness. He had to speak with her, there was nothing more important than making sure she was ok.
"Is there something wrong?" Livy asked him as he seemed to be keeping his eyes from her.
"No," he said finally looking to her.
"Then why won't you look at me?" she asked him pointedly, when after a few seconds of his eyes on her he forced them away.
"I just...," Jack twisted his lips in a frown. "I was really worried about you."
"Why?"
"You left in such a rush, the last thing you said to me...everything!" Jack said wiping his face.
"Well don't worry," Livy said firmly. "I'm fine."
"And there is no feelings for me other than as your spiritual leader?" Jack asked carefully.
Livy looked to him for a few moments as she thought about their embrace. He was trying to comfort her, she knew that. But there was a warm feeling she hadn't had for a while, and she didn't know if that was because of the lack of intimacy she had been forced to endure while in a loveless marriage or if the hug meant more than a hug.
"Livy?" Jack asked when she said nothing.
"Do you want me to say I don't find you attractive?" Livy asked him staring at her coffee cup. "Do you want me to say I've never thought about what it would be like to see you in something other than that collar?"
"Livy, I am a man of God," Jack said softly, just as he had rehearsed.
"Hence the reason for the collar," she smiled. "Look Jack, I mean Father...I find you attractive. I find you very compassionate and loving. I love our conversations, I love our meals we make on poker night. So I won't lie...I have thought of you in more than a spiritual sense."
Jack looked to his coffee. He was afraid of that.
"But that is my problem, not yours," Livy told him putting her hand on his wrist.
"It's our problem," Jack disagreed.
"You have done nothing to lead me to believe that you are anything more than a spiritual leader," Livy assured him.
"But?"
"But I think about you, perhaps it's because you are the first man to show me compassion and care about me in a long time," Livy shrugged. "Perhaps I want it to be more because I am afraid to be alone."
Jack was silent as he listened to her, his mind whirling as he thought of solutions.
"Say something," Livy demanded.
"Livy," he began. "I don't want to hurt you."
"I don't understand," she said her face scrunching and backing up her words.
"I'm not going to say that I haven't had those same thoughts," he whispered causing her to suck in a breath. "But, would that make me no better than your ex-husband? Could you ever trust a man who can't fulfill his vows?"
He looked to Livy and saw the tears and the confusion in her eyes.
