The morning sun streams in, filling the room with golden light. I wake to a mug of coffee, and Natasha watching me intently.
"It's rude to stare you know."
She breaks into a teasing smile once she realises I'm awake.
"Well, I never invited you to stay, so who's the rude one?"
I blush when I see my clothes folded neatly beside me, and she has the decency to look away whilst I dress quickly under the throw.
"May I borrow your phone now?"
She slides her phone across the coffee table, and gestures to the steaming mug next to it.
"Drink your coffee - it's sweet, and your blood sugar is probably low. Make sure you leave your number in my phone when you're done, and don't wait too long to get a replacement either - I don't like being kept waiting."
"Bold of you to assume I want you to call - what if I'm busy?"
She's on me in an instant, straddling my lap and pinning me against the back of the sofa. Nipping my bottom lip as she kisses me deeply, and digging her nails into the back of my neck. When she pulls away, she's as breathless as I am, but still annoyingly smug.
"You are a terrible liar, Mia."
I'd never heard my name in her mouth before, and my mind is suddenly filled with images of her screaming it over and over as I bury my face between her legs. I'll submit to her forever for the chance to worship her like that just once.
Refocusing my thoughts, I realise she's still on my lap, and more smug than ever - I'm incapable of hiding what I'm feeling. I shove her off, shaking my head in exasperation.
But of course I leave her my number, then practically count the seconds until I hear from her again.
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We have class on Fridays, and her message interrupts a particularly boring work meeting I'm Skyped into. As my mind was already wandering to her, for the millionth time, her message is a welcome distraction.
N: Busy?
M: Sort of, but I can still message
N: Are you sure? I don't want to interrupt anything important
M: Promise... you were distracting me anyway......
N: Remembering or fantasising?
M: A bit of both
N: Well, would it be too bold of me to assume that you'd be interested in playing with me on Friday evening?
M: You're not funny. But yes, I'm free. I'd love to
N: Overnight?
M: Depends whether I have to sleep on the couch again or not
N: You'll sleep where I tell you to. Yes or no?
M: Yes
N: Good. I have a few more expectations I'd like to share so you can prepare if need be. Take some time to think them over, and just be honest if it feels like too much
Shortly after, she texts over a short list. I don't exactly know what I was expecting, but I don't think it was something like this:
No body hair
- nothing from the neck down
Nails clipped smooth & short
- safety first
Hair down, no make up
- when we're spending time together I want to choose for you
Your body is my body
- so treat it with respect. Eat right, sleep well. No drugs, and alcohol only when I permit it
Nothing on there that I can't do. I'm still interested to know what happens if I break a rule though...
As she told me to think it over, I wait until the evening to respond.
M: Happy with all of that. Seems reasonable
N: Have you been following the other rule I set you?
M: I have, even when I'm alone at night with nothing to distract me
N: Good girl. Keep saving it for me. I'll see you Friday
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I was worried class would be torture with so much to distract me, but knowing she's been watching and admiring me gives me a confident boost, and I lose myself in the movements and melody.
I barely hear the balletmaster's praise - all the encouragement I need comes when I'm balanced at the barre and I can feel her eyes burning into me. I forget we aren't the only two people in the room for a second when I meet her gaze and find it dark with lust. It's the first time I've ever seen her lose focus in class, and the feeling is heady.
With our last obstacle cleared, as I change I'm hit with a wave of nerves - what if I don't live up to her expectations? When my classmate invites me out with the group again afterwards, before I can answer Natasha cuts in, linking her arm through mine, and gives her a dazzling smile.
"Sorry, she can't. She has dinner plans with me."
She leads me out of the door, and into the dark. She's quiet and focused after her chirpy outburst inside.
"What was
that
?"
"I was saving you an awkward conversation."
"You think that wasn't awkward?"
"Mia - you think I don't hear what they say? I don't bother responding because I know that I'm better than them, but you are sweet, and it bothers you when they say things about me."
"I want to tell you that I appreciate the concern, but I'm too distracted by your ego."
"What does ego have to do with it? It's the truth, so why avoid saying it? You British are terrible at getting to the point."
"Getting to the point, rude, what's the difference?"
We've reached her front door now and she's suddenly pinned me up against it. Her lips are inches away from mine, and my heart is pounding. She smirks.
"You love my rudeness."
To demonstrate her point, she's unlocking the door at the same time, so when the second lock releases, the door opens and I stumble backwards through the doorway.
As I regain my balance, she closes the door and then we face each other, me irritated and her amused.
"Go on, tell me how annoying I am. Get it out of the way."
But we're alone now, when that door closes it's just her and I - the rest of the world and everything before ceases to exist for me. I take her in to my hearts content - the milky glow of her skin, the curve of her lips, the fiery hue of her hair even in such muted lighting... she's perfect.
She follows the same routine as before - unbuttoning my jacket, running her fingers over the material, but this time she does my boots for me too. Her fingers brush lightly against my calves, and when she stands up straight, she gently unfastens my hair, letting the curls tumble down my back.
"Perfect."
Her voice is almost a whisper and I wish I could do anything besides blush, so I reach to unbutton her coat for her, but she bats my hands away.
"I like the thought of that but I'll get carried away. Go and sit down at the counter - wait for me there."
I wait, blushing at first when I remember the last time I was here, then fidgeting with nerves and impatience. My interest is piqued when she passes with my bag and climbs the stairs to the darkened third floor. When she returns, she smiles reassuringly and grabs a couple of plates from the fridge.
"Do you want me to help with anything?"
"You can help by remembering to breathe - you keep holding your breath and I'm scared you're going to pass out. I am not that scary - I don't bite."
"Oh... that's disappointing."
She gives me a wicked grin.
"Ok...I won't bite... without your consent."
The food is delicious, and she picks an equally good wine to go with it - white this time, as you can't have red with chicken apparently.
"Who cares? Wine is wine,"
"You are uncivilised. Shut up and eat."
After our plates are cleared, she gestures to the couch and hands me a checklist, although it's not like any list I've ever read before. I stare at her with wide eyes.
"Would it help if I show you what my limits are?"
I nod, feeling hopelessly out of my depth.
When she hands the list back to me, minus some of the more intimidating options, I let out a shaky breath.
"Why didn't you do that first?"
"I didn't want to influence you - they might have been things you were interested in. I don't judge."
"I'm not judging, I'm just-"
"Overwhelmed? I know, it's ok. How about you start by choosing the things that you know you're comfortable with trying, and we can come back to this later?"
I take the list back from her - I don't consider myself innocent, but there are things on that list I'd never have even thought about, let alone tried. I'm indecisive at the best of times, and I need more time to think.
However, as I read through the list, I realise the opportunity really is too good to pass up on- Natasha is beautiful, I feel safe with her, and I know she won't judge me. I end up feeling comfortable with more than I thought I would.
When she takes the list back, her face lights up as she reads through my answers.
"Little Mia... I am surprised. Ok, we have plenty here to work with."
She sits next to me, taking my hands in hers, blue eyes meeting mine and burning with an intensity I can feel.
"I need to know that you're comfortable with this. We'll start off light, but even then it can get intense. We can stop whenever you want - I will always respect your boundaries, and do everything in my power to keep you safe. But you have to be honest with me in return. If something doesn't feel right, please promise that you'll use the safe word."
"I promise."
"What's the safe word?"
"Emboite."
"Just checking. Do you want to ask me anything else?"
"I do. When should I address you as Ma'am?"
"I hoped you'd ask about that. So, as I think you ascertained, my expectation is always during sex. Aside from that, I was trying to let you decide what you were comfortable with. Last week, when you entered a submissive headspace, you were quiet and compliant, but one of the things I love about you is that you like to push back, and act-"
"Bratty? I didn't know that was allowed."
"Some dominants don't allow it. I allow it, and I enjoy it."
"I think I missed something I should've added to the list."
After I've checked one last box, nerves rear their ugly head again.
"How about a bath, to help you relax?"
"Yes please, Ma'am."