Since I had promised myself to following Lily's ponygirl lead, I found myself much more able to simply observe the processings rather than trying to analyze how I related to them. Letting the experience wash through me instead of trying to wade through it. Thus, I simply followed directions, the explicit commands of Isabella and Catherine, and the implicit example of Lily.
Lily and I stood next to each other as Isabella and Catherine approached us with leads in their hands. Trying to mirror Lily, I stood as straight and proud as I could for Isabella to clip attach her lead to my bit while Catherine did the same to Lily.
Then each with a quick tug, we were started back towards the stable. Catherine and Lily in the front, and Isabella leading me behind them. This gave to the opportunity to once again fall into step with Lily's pony walk. Watching the rise and fall of her steps from behind like I did on the walker, once again letting her rhythm dictate mine.
As we made our way back to the stable, I finally noticed that the sun was now rather low in the sky. In fairness I had been rather preoccupied before to have noticed. As it turned out, this was also the reason for Isabella and Catherine coming to pick us up, to start getting us ready for the night.
Once inside, Lily and I had our leashes loosely tied to a pair posts, and we were once again left by our handlers who disappeared into another part of the stable. At first I didn't think much of it since they'd left us in the paddock alone before. But I soon discovered a key difference from being left in a paddock, how little freedom we'd left with this time. Attached to the wall with only a couple feet of give in our lines, I could barely manage a step with the line going taut and pulling on my bit.
I felt a nervousness rise in me, but looking over at Lily she looked perfectly at ease, more than happy to just stand, easily trusting in those who'd tied us here. This gave me some support and relief from my unease but what truly dispelled it was Isabella and Catherine returning.
They came back carrying odd looking water bottles. A simple description that was quickly dissuaded when I got a closer look on the one Catherine had for Lily which she began to attach to Lily's face. It had a kind of harness that was connected to the bridle, positioning the bottle out in front of her face with the end of the bottle pointed toward her mouth. Out of that end, was a long tube which Catherine then fitted into Lily's month. Once the tube was secured in her mouth, Lily eagerly began suckling at it, pulling the brown paste down from the bottle, through the translucent tube, and into her mouth.
Transfixed by the process, I gave a slight jump when my view was suddenly interrupted by Isabella stepping between us. Transferring my attention to her I saw she was also holding a bottle. Along with an eyebrow quirked yup in question before explaining the bottle,
"This is standard ponygirl's feed. It's a special blend containing all the nutrients, vitamins, and hormones a healthy ponygirl needs. It's made a slurry so that you can drinking it through your bit. Plus it makes easier things coming out."
As Isabella talked, she held the feeding contraptions up for my inspection. Being able to more closely examine the 'ponygirl feed' through the bottle didn't reveal anymore than at a distance in Lily's. It still just looked like brown sludge to me, and no more appetizing. After a beat Isabella continued, now with a bit less confidence,
"I know this is a bit gross and you're only trying out being a pony for a day, so... I talked to Catherine and she said that it would okay to give you a normal meal instead. To you know, kinda let ease into it and this can be a bit of a stumbling block for some ponies..."
This threw me off. Since we had left the tack room, it had felt like Isabella had been treating me more like I thought she would a ponygirl. Check in with me less, instead simply giving me the commands she wanted of me. Of course she had spoken to me in while on the walker but that was after first starting me on the exercise without introduction. Not ask at every step like in the tack room, but first simply doing.Granted I had also not thought much time to think about this change, caught up in walking and rubbing with Lily.
But this also didn't feel like the moment to confront it either. Not with my internal commitment to Lily. To myself really. To being a proper ponygirl. So I acted as I thought a proper ponygirl would, how Lily would. Cutting off Isabella's rambling with a single stamp.
I agree.
Choosing the ponygirl option in the most ponygirl way I could.
This in turn seemed to throw off Isabella. I guess she was expected me to take the easy way out. But it also seemed I threw her off in a positive way as after a moments hesitation she smiled and set about strapping the device onto my bridle. Then with she positioned its bendy tube to my lips, and with a second glance up to my eyes, continued with slipping it into my mouth.
It was an odd mix of being invasive while also not feeling like a huge step up from having already spent the day with my bit occupied by my bit. Once Isabella had settled the tube where she thought it should be it was my turn to figure out to use it, which took some experimentation. Eventually though I discovered leveraging my bit into the bottom of the tube rhythmically doing a kind of sucking chewing action would draw the slurry down from the bottle into my mouth.
To my surprise, once the feed actually reach my mouth, I discovered that despite its presentation and form, it in fact tasted okay. The texture resembles something akin to a course oatmeal, and I could even detect a faint apple flavour. Then again it was not something I would have any interest in trying to recreate at home. Its functionality was inherit to its taste.
Now that I was suckling away beside Lily, Isabella and Catherine once more left us to our dinners. Each of us now occupied with 'eating'. While slurping away, I looked over at Lily who met my gaze with her own questioning one. Obviously wondering at my culinary review. Without thinking much I shrugged my shoulders, which by my restraints turned into more of a bob.
While Lily seemed to get my intent, I regretted not communicated like a proper pony. Thus, I follow it up with the three stamps of
I', not sure.
My adherence to the letter of communication seemed to amuse Lily. She replied by booping the end of my feeding bottle with hers, a playful way to knock once in agreement.
Yes I know it's a bit bland.
With our exchange done, we both returned to eating in companionable silence, or for us stamplessness.
This continued even after I, and I presumed Lily, finished our bottles but were still absent Catherine and Isabella, leaving us once again with nothing to do but just stand there. And like before I felt my unease slowly begin to rise, over take the calm and mental distraction eating had afforded. No longer able to distract myself with consumption and not helped my our extra attachments. And this time it felt like they were gone longer.
I tired to pull comfort from Lily who was standing beside me in perfect calm, as well as in near perfect stillness, only occasionally repositioning her weight. On the other hand I could feel myself growing my antsy. Shifting my weight from hoof to hoof and twisting my torso in seemingly every which way. Trying to substitute the little movements of my body for actually being able to move about.
For her part, it was clear Lily was sympathetic for to me as she watched me going through one of early trials of being a ponygirl. She did offer the occasional whinny of support, but the distance between our posts prevented any much more than that. And while her encouragement and example helped, I still found myself falling backing into my worries and fidgeting.
But eventually our handers returned. An eventuality that Lily had calmly expected but which I greeted with a flood of relief. This also came with a renewal of energy and will to return to my mirroring of Lily, hence I tried to hide my relived reaction at seeing Catherine and Isabella once again. And thinking of it, I didn't really know how long they had been away. Had I been getting worked up over a ten-minute break, induced by a loss of object permanence as a new ponygirl?
Either way, when Isabella came up to me she clearly saw past my performance of neutrality as she greeted me with a compassionate smile and a back rub. Whispering to into my ear as she undid the feeding mask,
"Almost time for bed."
My reply was a slippery pop as the tube came out. In some sense lost for words by her sudden proximity. And of course still literal denied words by my bit.
But my month was not only occupied by my bit for long as the tube was quickly replaced by a touch brush. Scrubbing at my teeth in and round the contours of the bit's plate. In comparison to the alien feel of the tube, this felt oddly comforting, the first normal thing put into my mouth all day. Unlike the deeply functional feel of brushing one's own teeth, I would compare this more to a massage. Gently addressing each tooth in turn with a completeness only an external observer could achieve and with a far more personal care than of a dentist.
This also brought Isabella face right in front of mine. Her eyes and focus directed into my month. Her distraction giving me the chance without embarrassment to study her face and her meticulous patience giving me the time.
Her skin was tanned from all the time she must spend outdoors. I also discovered that she had freckles. Dotting her a field on her checks and connecting over the ridge of her nose. Just below her eyes and around her month were the soft lines of very human wrinkles. Etched in by laugher and labour. The cutest of which being the pair ceased between her eyebrows, currently pitched together in concentration.
