I stepped out into the warm spring air, wincing as the sights, sounds, and smells of the city turned up the volume on my hangover.
"Ugh." I flicked open my sunglasses, settled them on the bridge of my nose, and took a sip from my cardboard-ringed cup.
"
Ugh!
Jesus..." Even with the cream and sugar, the coffee was flat and ashy in my mouth.
Whatever,
I thought.
I don't go there for the coffee. I go there for the puss-
"I want a taste."
I found myself looking into the largest pair of brown eyes I'd ever seen in my life. Looking
down
into them, that is. The girl they belonged to was almost a full foot shorter than me, and for a second I had to work to convince myself that she had actually said anything at all.
"I'm sorry?" I half-laughed.
Instead of repeating herself, she reached out and gently took the cup from my hand. Without breaking eye contact, she brought it to her lips, tilted it back...and immediately made a face.
"Oh, gross," she said, wincing. "What the hell, did you just dump an entire sugar bowl into this?" She handed back the cup, then laughed and shook her head. "God, I was right. You are
such
a fuckboy."
"I'm...sorry?" I said again. This time, I wasn't laughing. I was completely confused. Out of nowhere, this small, olive-skinned girl with dark curly hair and a nose that was just slightly too big for her face had seized my coffee, taken a sip, and then called me a...
"Fuckboy?" I said.
"Yeah. Fuckboy." She laughed again. Her voice was throaty, almost commanding...but if her voice was
almost
commanding, her brown-eyed gaze
definitely
was.
"I mean..." she began, gesturing to me. "Look at you, with that swooped over hair, and the sleeves of your dress shirt oh-so-casually rolled up, and ordering that lukewarm sugar-milk...come on, I can't really be the first person to call you that."
Somehow, I finally found my voice. "No, I've heard it before," I said. I tried to sound annoyed, even though I really wasn't, and I'm sure she could tell. "I just don't think that's the insult
you
think it is."
"Ah, I see," the girl said, nodding as she surveyed me. Her mouth opened slightly, revealing bright white teeth and a dark tongue thoughtfully riding the edge of one canine.
"Huh," she said, taking a step towards the coffee shop and peering through the window.
I stepped up next to her. "What do you mean, 'huh'?" I asked.
"Carli, huh?" she said. "With an 'i'?"
"Uh, yeah," I said. We looked at the eighteen-year-old blonde barista with the big rack, tight polo shirt, and autumn-colored apron standing behind the counter. I took another sip of my terrible beanwater and glanced down at my new coffee friend. Her tits would barely fill out her own tiny hands. I suppressed a snort and looked back at the big, sparkling smile of the barista.
"You know her?" I asked.
"No," the girl next to me said. She tossed her head towards my coffee. "Her name is on the cup. Along with her number." She switched to a babying voice. "And a cute widdle heart above the 'i'."
I looked down. Carli really had dotted the eye with a heart.
Jesus,
I thought,
this girl doesn't miss a
fucking
thing
.
She elbowed me conspiratorially. "So what's up, fuckboy? You and her gonna smash?"
I let out a snort. I tried to switch to
not
sounding annoyed by the nickname, and somehow I failed at that too.
"Probably," I replied.
"Probably, huh," the girl said, turning towards me and looking me fearlessly in the eyes once more. "So that's how these things go? You go in, flirt a little bit, she's impressed by your clothes, and your shoulders, and your little..." she swirled her fingers in the air. "Fuckboy haircut, or whatever..."
"You've got to..." I stopped and shook my head, rolling my lower lip over my teeth. I did not want this chick to see how much she was getting on my nerves.
"No, I know how it is," she said. "She's new to the city, here from some crappy little town out in, what...Kansas?"
"Minnesota," I replied through gritted teeth.
"Minnesota, wow," she said flatly. "Exotic. Anyways, she's here for school, and you two text a bit, and then you offer to show her around, you take her to dinner, you smash a couple of times..."
"Nobody 'smashes', anymore," I muttered, taking another sip of my shitty coffee. I scowled at the cup like the bastard son of a whore that it was.
"Utterly uninspiring, insipid, Great Plains-adjacent and greatly plain sex," she said. She raised her arms to put her thick hair back into a short ponytail, and all of a sudden I pictured her in my head, doing the exact same thing before wrapping her lipstick-darkened mouth around me and maintaining that powerful eye contact-
The coffee-thief was smirking at me. In an instant I knew that the thing with the hair was deliberate, and that she knew exactly what was on my mind. I blushed. I never blush, and I fucking blushed, and I was starting to get a little pissed off, and I was
definitely
a little hard.
"God damn it," I said. I turned and started walking to work, but the girl would not take the hint. She stuck with me, right by my elbow, like an annoying little puppy with a husky yip.
"Oh my gosh, you're such an
adult
with your own place and all these suits," she continued, affecting a really terrible accent that I guessed was supposed to be Minnesotan...and which actually
did
sound a little bit like Carli from the coffee shop.
"And, oh my gosh, you're so much
bigger
than my ex-boyfriend," she continued. We were waiting at a crosswalk, and she dipped her head and switched back to her normal voice. "Even though you're like what...six and a half inches? On a
really
good day?"
"Okay, seriously, what the fuck." I jaywalked, even though there was a taxi about to cross through the intersection. And yet, she stuck with me -- and when the taxi paused and blasted his horn, she gave him the finger without even looking in his direction.
"You've probably done this pickup dozens of times, huh?" she said. "You find a new girl, she looks roughly the same as all the others, blonde, big tits, big
bleh
. You go out a bit, you have a bit of sex, you get bored, and then you move on to the next thing, just the same as the old thing."
"Okay, I've got a type," I snapped. "What's your point?"
"Don't you think it's time for something new?" she asked. Once again, she took the coffee cup from me and I rolled my eyes.
"You know what," I said, "it's yours now."
She ignored my whining and produced a black marker that had been clipped to the strap of her bag. She scrawled something quickly across the face of the cup, then capped the marker and gave my coffee back to me.
"Here," she said, smirking. "For when you get tired of your regular order."
Then, without another word, she turned sharply and walked across the avenue, sashaying over the crosswalk with middle fingers out to the other taxis who had an issue with it.
"Crazy bitch," I muttered, then swore again as I looked at the cup. She had completely colored over Carli's number with the marker. I held the cup over my head, tilting it this way and that way, relieved that I could still see the indented digits left by the Minnesotan barista's pen.
I shook my head, then looked at what else the strange, combative coffee thief had drawn. MARWA, it said, with a pair of devil horns above the M, and a small, arrow-tipped tail trailing from the right-hand stem of the second 'A'. The tail pointed to a string of seven numbers.
"Marwa," I muttered. I opened my phone, then added a new contact for Carli with the numbers hidden under the scribbles. Then, after a moment of wrestling with myself, I added a contact for Marwa as well.
"What the hell," I said to myself, tossing the cup of shitty java atop an overflowing trashcan. "Chick is crazy. But crazy fucks good, so..." I checked my watch, swore, then sprinted to the subway.
* * *
"Oh. My. God. Yes. Please. Yes." Beneath me, Kyle was flushed and wild-eyed. Sweat plastered her thin brown hair to her forehead, and her thick-rimmed glasses were tilted at a crazy angle across her face.
"Oh. Yes. Please. Fuck me. With your. Jock. Cock," she said, for what was probably the fifteenth time that night. I growled and put my hand over her mouth, pinning her head down and muffling her voice. But even with my palm squishing her lips against her teeth, I could still feel her jaw moving -- and her moans had somehow gotten even louder.
I shook my head and tried to focus on the massive pair of tits that spilled out over the neckline of her tank top. Her large nipples were pale, hard, and normally hypnotic when bouncing up and down beneath me. But for some reason, they just weren't keeping my attention the way they normally did.
Kyle was one of my regulars...well, she was my
only
regular, and I occasionally reflected (with mild horror) on how she was, in a sense, my longest continuous "relationship". We had been paired up in an undergrad accounting course five years before. She was the dorky, chubby accounting major, and I was the hardbody business frat bro, so we weren't really "supposed" to get together...which definitely made it hot for both of us. More for her, though, I think, than me -- but she was always eager whenever I was in a dry spell or horny late at night, and my cock was always grateful for her.
But on this night, her amazing tits just weren't doing enough to help me cum. Growling again, I leaned back, pulling her legs up in the air so that I could wrap my arms around her thighs and
really
give it to her. Her squeals and speech were, as always, punctuated with a gasp that served as a period.
"Oh. Please. Yes. I want. Those frat bro. Babies. In me."
"Oh my God, shut the fuck up," I groaned. I pulled out, making her gasp loudly, then rolled her over on her knees. Pushing forward one side of her big ass in my hand, I slowly guided myself back into her pussy with the other. She was fucking soaked, just the way I liked it, and soon I was giving her hard, deep strokes once again.
"Nnnnnuh," she groaned. "Nnnnnuhh. Fuck yesssss..."
I gritted my teeth and continued plowing into her, trying to get myself to cum. All day, I had been fucking agitated, starting from my weird coffee run-in, to being late to an important meeting, to dealing with all the other bullshit that work had decided to dump on me. Add to that the takeout place forgetting half my dinner order, and I found myself with a deep, primal need to get off and get rid of some of this fucking
stress
.
Which is why I texted Kyle. But for whatever reason, this soft, slutty, insatiable, tight-pussied cumdump just wasn't getting it done for me.
"Oh. Yes. Daddy. Give me. That. Jock. Cock."
"Fucking, God
damn