Revenge Is Sweet
The first time I met her she was drunk, obnoxious and downright vindictive. The first steps to her rehabilitation took place that night, although neither of us dreamed of the consequences of her actions at the time.
I had been in town meeting a few friends; taking in a concert, and afterwards dinner in a Thai restaurant, followed by an hour or two in a club watching a local band blow the cobwebs away. By the time I got back to my car it was about 1am. It was a fine summer night, warm, but with a little breeze keeping things cool.
As I turned into the street where I'd parked my car I could hear, and then see some commotion up ahead. It soon became obvious that there was a party taking place at the house, close to where I'd left the car. Party goers in their late twenties and early thirties were smoking and drinking on the pavement, glasses and cans in hand, while music blared from the open windows and door.
A girl, no, a woman was sitting on the front of my car, and I thought she'd just get off when I opened the car door, so I got in and started the engine. She never moved apart from looking back over her shoulder and insolently sneering at me. She mouthed, 'fuck off,' as clearly as if she'd said it in my ear. I switched off the engine and got out to ask her to move. 'Excuse me please,' I said politely. 'I need to you to get off the car so I can get home.' She looked at me as if I was a dog shit.
'Wasting your time,' she said, her speech slurred. This was going to be difficult I told myself.
'Why am I wasting my time?'
'Cos I'm not fuckin' gettin' off, so you're wasting your fuckin' time.' She smirked to her friends, and seemingly as drunk as her, they laughed and giggled too. A couple of the other girls, who seemed younger than her, joined her in sitting on the front of my car.
'Come on girls, I need to get home,' I pleaded. A couple of male friends joined them, adding an air of menace to the proceedings. 'You're going to damage the bonnet with you all sitting on it,' I protested. They didn't like that, and she rounded on me.
'Are you saying we're fat cunts?' she snarled. 'You cheeky bastard, I'll show you damage,' and as she said it she got to her feet, standing on the bonnet of my car and jumped up and down with just about the highest spike heeled shoes I'd ever seen. Within seconds the paintwork was pock-marked with indentations where her heels punched into the metal, and all the while she screamed abuse at me, calling me every nasty name her drunken brain could conjure up.
I tried to stop her, but she took a vicious kick at me, which was her undoing - she missed, and off balance, she fell from the car, first landing with an almighty thump on the bonnet, making a large dent, before sliding off onto the pavement. By this time her friends had backed off, looking shocked, the guys shaking their heads in disbelief. Despite what she'd done, I went to see if she was OK - I needn't have bothered.
'OK? Of course I'm OK you cunt,' she spat, trying drunkenly to get to her feet. As I turned to leave her, she reached out, whether to use me as the closest support to assist getting to her feet, or deliberately, I'll never know. The end result was that she pulled my trousers down. As I hurriedly pulled them back up, she started laughing, making fun of my underpants, etc. Her friends were laughing too. Furious, I got into my car, but she followed, and spat on me, calling me a fucker. Thoroughly pissed off and humiliated, I said to her very quietly as the car pulled away.
'I'll get you for this. I won't forget your face, and I'll teach you a lesson you'll never forget.' She took a step back, looking frightened. Maybe the vehemence in my voice got through the drunken haze, but suddenly she didn't look so cocky although it only lasted for a fleeting moment. I smiled at her, and drove away, but only as far as the end of the street, where, parked out of sight behind a white van, I could keep an eye on the party and wait for my moment.
It came sooner than I expected, for within half an hour she came swaying and lurching down the path of the house, and along the road, away from me. I let her get to the end of the road before I started the engine and followed her from a distance as she turned the corner. In a series of stops and starts I followed her home.
Come Monday morning, I hit the local library, and looking through the electoral register, I soon had her name and her flat number, which led me to her door that evening around 7pm. I rang the doorbell and waited, and after a short delay, the door, rather unexpectedly opened. She looked completely different from the drunken bitch that had damaged the car and humiliated me, but it was her nonetheless. 'Sorry, my intercom isn't working, can I help you?' she asked, smiling. I handed her an envelope; she looked puzzled. 'What's this?'
'It's an estimate for the damage you inflicted on my car on Saturday night,' I said, pointing to my car parked in front of her building. She looked shocked, and said she couldn't remember doing it, so I filled in the blanks for her in graphic detail, finishing with her pulling down my trousers, spitting at me, and humiliating me, when I was trying to help her despite what she'd done. She looked suitably humbled. 'I've included my address and you can send me a cheque when the job is done,' I said sternly.
'Oh God, I'm so sorry. I don't normally drink, but I definitely had too much on Saturday. I can't remember a thing. Was I awful?' she asked.
'You were worse than awful. Even your friends were shocked by your behaviour. You threw a tantrum like a spoiled child; I thought you needed a good spanking. You were completely out of control. It's hard to equate the woman I saw on Saturday night with the woman I see now - you're not a silly teenager, you're old enough to know better,' I finished.
'Yes, yes, I take your point. Please just have your car repaired, let me have the final bill, and I'll send you a cheque. I apologise, again, I really am sorry and thoroughly ashamed of myself.' It was hard to be nasty to her despite what she'd done, and it was like dealing with a different person from the harridan I'd met on the Saturday night, so I left it at that. A few weeks later I sent her the bill as agreed.
A couple of nights later the phone rang. It was her; she'd got the bill and had my cheque made out ready for me. She was going to be in the area in about half an hour and suggested I meet her at a coffee shop just down the road from my house. I agreed, and met her there at the agreed time. She smiled as I approached her table, and offered me a cup of coffee. She looked lovely and I found myself very attracted to her, but refused her offer and sat down. 'I thought I might get you a cup of coffee, kinda make up a little bit for the inconvenience I've caused you,' she explained smiling nervously. I wasn't going to let her off the hook as easy as that
'I think it may take a little bit more than a cup of coffee to do that,' I said. The smile disappeared, and we both sat there in silence.