Reena swirled the ice in her glass and bit her lip. Three months ago she had broken up with her boyfriend of two years, Thomas, and she hadn't been touched since. She felt open to the world, raw and exposed. Her breasts felt fuller than usual, and her skin felt as though it were wrapped tightly around her body. She didn't even need her vibrator, these days. In the shower, she'd be over the top in seconds.
It wasn't that she needed Thomas to satisfy her. In fact, the last thing she needed was Thomas. Over time, Thomas had grown weak and passionless, and Reena felt herself assuming a position of power in the relationship, a placement she abhorred. She had lashed out, purposefully misbehaving in his presence, just to get a rise out of him, some attention. But Thomas loved her blankly, benignly, without the intensity or white-hot cruelty Reena knew she deserved.
And now she found herself downing vodka tonics seated across from a relative stranger at a bar in downtown Manhattan. This was her second date with Jason. Their kisses and mild caresses had been sweet, but not especially exciting. However, Reena wanted to give it a chance. He was strikingly attractive and a recent graduate of law school. He was also seven years her senior, which was a relief to Reena. If anything, she was tired of immaturity. She focused herself on the conversation at hand.
"It seems like your life keeps you pretty busy," Jason was saying.
"It does," Reena replied, "it's my last year of college, and I have more work this semester than ever. The struggle is trying to stay motivated," she smiled.
"Well, have you been doing all of your work?" Jason asked, somewhat sternly.
"Not really," said Reena, feeling as though vodka coated her words. "I've actually been very, very bad." She looked Jason in the eyes as she said this, searching for his reaction. He seemed surprised, but quickly recovered.
"Oh, really?" He asked, now searching her face for meaning, "Well maybe you need a spanking." Reena's stomach lurched. The image of being draped over Jason's lap and treated like a misbehaving child popped immediately into her mind.
"Hmmm," she replied with mock seriousness, "Maybe you're right. But I don't know of anyone who could punish me." She wondered how far they could take this playful conversation. How far could she push him? What worlds would he be willing to explore? Suddenly Jason reached across the small table and tucked a portion of Reena's cropped red hair behind her ear; his hand lingered at her cheek and then cupped her chin firmly.
"Well if you're in need of discipline, Reena," he said slowly, "I'm sure we can arrange something."
There was an electric connection between them, suddenly. They finished the last drops of their cocktails, almost wordlessly, and rose to leave the bar. Jason held Reena closely as they walked to his apartment, and she could feel her heart pounding as they ascended the stairs in thrilling silence. Once Jason closed his bedroom door behind them, he turned to Reena seriously. "I won't go easy on you, young lady, I hope you know that."
"Are you really going to spank me, Jason?" Reena asked, her voice sounding small and silly to her.
"I can't stand the thought of a bad girl going unpunished," said Jason, "And I think you've been very naughty, Reena. You've been neglecting your schoolwork, and the rate at which you drank those cocktails tonight is not what I like to see from a well-behaved young woman. You're drunk right now, aren't you?" He frowned at her disapprovingly. Reena was starting to feel actual guilt and shame. Why had she provoked him in this manner? She knew she was in for further humiliation and pain, and she was beginning to regret her actions, but this shame was bound up tightly with a feeling of resistance. Her old stubbornness surfaced. Surely she could defend herself against this accusation.
"I'm old enough to drink!" she nearly shouted. "And I'm not even very drunk. Who are you to tell me how I should behave? I barely even know you." She regretted her outburst as soon as she saw the anger ripple over Jason's face. He walked over to the bed and sat down.