We have been doing strapon play since we met, but I have always been limited to a small dildo. We had found one with a small head that vibrated and it has brought great pleasure to both of us.
My Goddess, however has been wanting to use larger dildo's on me, both for her pleasure and to get me prepared to be fucked by a BBC which is one of her fantasies. We have been trying to stretch my ass, and she has a black dildo that is much larger than our normal strapon. We had tried it a few times, but the pain was always excruciating, so we stopped.
She told me the other day that she wanted to tie me down and rape me with the big black dildo. I was both shocked and excited. She told me that it was time to take me without stopping. That she wanted me tied down and helpless while she raped my ass. She felt that it would be like ripping off a band aid and that we needed that in our relationship.
We talked about this a while and I agreed to do it. She wanted me to know that once I was tied down, it was going to happen. No matter what I said or did, she was going to fuck me hard. In fact, the more I screamed, the harder she was going to fuck me. I told her that I understood the implications. She asked me if I could take this and still love her afterwards. She asked if I could deal with both the emotional as well as the physical aspects of the rape.
She told me that she was going to totally break me. She was going to hurt me like I had never been hurt before. That it was going to be a true "rape" that would leave me a hollow shell. She promised to love me afterwards.
I swallowed hard as I considered her request. I knew that once I committed to this, there was no backing out. I have always followed through with anything I have committed too and knew that it was inevitable. As I considered it, I knew I could not refuse her. I agreed.
I was traveling during this conversation and it was several days before I saw her. Every day, I anticipated the rape to come with a combination of fear and excitement. I was nervous during the day. At night, I would dream about it and wake up hard. She had forbidden me to masturbate during this time, so my frustration was growing along with my excitement and trepidation.
Finally the day arrived. I came home to see her and she was overjoyed to see me. She hugged me, and held me, thanking me for committing to do this for her. I looked in her eyes and told her that I was ready. She asked me again if I was sure. That once she started there was no holding back. She reminded me how bad she was going to hurt me and that I may not like her afterwards. I agreed and let her lead me into the bedroom.