Puppy Girl

To my readers: Sorry so much for the long delay! The computer I worked on the story on crashed. And there is nothing worse then trying to recreate work you've already done, but I hope this chapter is a worthy continuation of the story! It was the feedback that kept me inspired though, all your messages mean a lot, and they do impact the story! I promise to have a little more action in the next one... :3

*****

I was out of the police station, I sat in my car. Images and feelings of the past 48 hours poured through my head. Naked, caged or leashed, pleasured and punished, it was all completely overwhelming, even in retrospect. Fresh tears welled up, but I fought them back. I drove a few blocks, and stopped at a Subway. I ordered a simple sandwich, and sat by myself, but three bites into it, I lost all my appetite. To make matters worse, a lady strode by, walking her two dogs, which trotted happily in front of her. My god, that was me a few hours ago, I couldn't believe that was actually what I wanted...

I hit the road, I turned the radio as loud as I could stand, singing along at the top of my lungs, just trying to block everything else out. It actually helped, the drive went quickly. The blaring music was insulating me against painful memories as the sun was setting in the horizon in front of me. I had about an hour left to drive, and I dialed Andrea. A few seconds later, a frantic voice came on the other end,

"Brooke?!? Where have you been, you didn't call, what's going on?"

"Dray, Dray, just listen to me for a second,"

"I had to call the POLICE for Christ sake! You left a note, that was it, I hadn't heard from you-"

"ANDREA!" I blurted through the phone, "I will be home in about an hour, pour me a glass of wine, and I'll tell you everything. I'm fine, honest."

"You are not off the hook missy, just get home!"

I knew she hung up on me, and her words hung around with me. What was I actually going to tell her? I don't think the police ever got back to her, so she only knew that I had gone to see David, and that I was out of contact. She knew that I was interested in him, and that's it, I think. I didn't have to tell her anything really, but she was my closest friend, who else could I open up to?

The sky was black when I pulled up to my house. I turned off the engine, and stared ahead for a few minutes. I rocked back and forth, thumping my head softly against the wheel. I didn't know if I was ready for reality again. My phone lit up with a text message:

*Stop being weird. Come inside.*

Andrea: the ever vigilant spy. I clambered out of my car, glancing up at the house; I knew she was still watching me. I slung my bag over my shoulder, trudging up the steps. I was exhausted, I had barely slept, barely ate, and my knees were still a bit sore. Andrea met me at the door, and I offered her a weak smile. I came in, and she took the bag from me, leading me into the living room. Two wine glasses were poured, although one was significantly lower than the other.

Andrea had yet to speak, she looked me over again and again, and I suspect she was looking for bruises, or other indications of what might have happened. She always suspected the worse, but I doubt the truth of what happened ever crossed her mind. I sat down on the couch, she sat in the easy chair, very straight up and proper, twirling her glass in her hand.

"Well??" She demanded.

"Andrea... I'm sorry you were so worried..." I was slow getting the words out of me.

"What the hell happened to you?"

"I... I don't know where to begin..."

Suddenly her face was filled with worry; I'd never seen Andrea like this. I guess she must have assumed I was just a negligent friend, but I think she realized there was more than what I alluded to earlier. I took a couple deep breaths, trying to gather myself, still deciding how much to share with her. I looked down, my hands were trembling.

No, screw it. This was too much for me to deal with on my own, if she wanted to listen then I was going to share.

"So, I never really told you how I met David."

"I assumed you guys met on a dating site or something, you never really were interested in any guys I saw you with after Mark."

"Well... you're kind of right. I was in a chatroom a while ago... ok back up for one second, I guess there's something even more I should share." I took a deep breath, trying to put my bombshell out lightly. "I've kind of been a little bit of a sexual deviant lately... its all been about trying more submissive kind of roles and relationships..."

My voice had gone quiet, and I knew my face was going to be beet red by the time I finished. I peeked up from staring in my lap, Andrea's lips were pulled tight together, I hope I wasn't over sharing, but this is what she wanted, and I think this is what I wanted too.

"When me and Mark were still together, I noticed certain, urges... desires... fantasies... that weren't really being fulfilled for me. It took me even longer to bring it up to him, but he didn't understand it at all. I was too ashamed to really explain it, these... submissive kinds of tendencies... they made me feel like such freak. So that was one of the things that started driving a wedge between us.

"So, then we were separate, and I finally worked up my bravery to look into this whole sub thing, I started with porn... I know, I know. Call it research. That led to me going on to this adult chat site, which was totally overwhelming and mostly gross, but that was when I met David. He asked if I wanted to do the exact thing that I had been thinking about trying. We did some role-playing, where he was a Dom and I was a sub. You know what I'm talking about? Ok, good. I have to say, it was really good for me, stimulating, I guess, in a new way..."

I paused, Andrea was still with me, she was being an excellent ear for me, and I felt every secret I had pouring from my soul in that moment. She looked just a little weirded out, but overall concerned, and attentive.

"So... we did that for a couple weeks, talking and playing kinda, online, almost every other day. It never got old for me, but one day, David asked me if he could meet me. My first reaction was to say no, but he said we would just go out for coffee or something. I agreed, and he came last Friday, we met up, and drank and laughed and kind of connected. You saw him, he's attractive, and he was charming, and funny. I liked him."

I was saddened by that realization; I had held such high hopes for what we could've been. Last week he was such a gentleman, now...

"Well you got lucky; what if he wasn't who he said he was?"

"Well... there was kind of that too..."

Now she was at full attention.

"Ok, we're getting there. Please, can I just continue my story?" I asked. "So he asked if he could see me again on the way back, on Sunday, and I agreed, as you know. We went to the park, walked around, had lunch, but then he pulled me away from the trail. He... we...

"What? You got attacked by a bear?"

I gulped. "No... we fucked."

Andrea's eyes got wide for a second, and then she spoke again, "Well, that's not so bad, I mean outside though?

"No, you don't understand, there was more to it than just fucking... he had me strip, then he put a collar around my neck, put a leash on it, and used it while we had sex... he made me take his pants down with just my teeth, he spanked me, and I just gave in... He called me "pet," and "slave"... I don't know..."

I trailed off, and Andrea got up and sat next to me, wrapping her arms around me and pulling me tight.

"Oh honey, I'm so sorry that that happened to you."

I pulled away; she still hadn't heard the worst yet.

"No, that's not it. While we were out there, I wasn't ready for it, but I loved every second. It was the best sex of my life, and everything he did, it was just so perfect; what he said, what he did, all of it." I paused, letting my words sink in, for the both of us. "So, we didn't really talk much after, but he told me I should come to him in Chicago, spend a weekend really delving into the role that I had just started to explore with him. He didn't really give me much choice, but I agreed.

"So, like you know, I packed up and went to see him."

"Yea, but you left out all the kinky shit that you were actually going for!"

I looked down in shame, and she immediately felt guilty.

"I'm sorry Brooke, I know there's more, and I'm just... trying to wrap my head around it, that's all."

"Well... I got there, actually got in a crash right before I got to his place." Her eyes were livid, probably because this was the first she heard about it. "Its fine, it's taken care of. He came and got me, we went to his place and then..."

The words were getting harder and harder to get out, Andrea was keeping me calm. I didn't know if I could keep it that way, I was getting closer and closer to the heat of the story. She squeezed me, reassuring me, and urging me to continue.

"Tell me, Brooke, what happened?"

"We got there... and right away, he took my clothes off, he put a collar on me, and..." I swallowed hard. "He... he spanked me. I was so unprepared, he made me do everything like a dog... and walk on all fours, I couldn't speak, I was like a slave, he made sleep... in a cage..."

I burst into tears again. With every word I was reliving my fantasy-turned-nightmare. I started sobbing loudly, I felt every humiliating second I spent with David a thousand times over in my mind. The slam of the small cage door, the sound of his palm against my skin, his burning, uncompromising eyes, I remembered every small detail.

"Shhh, its okay honey, you're home and you're safe..."

"It... it was like that all weekend, I ate on the floor, he used me, and... and... I even got tried to get into it, and then he denied me, for hours, I was kept around like an object... then there was another girl too, she was just like me, a pet, but she was so subservient, doing everything without a second thought..."

Andrea had stopped, this had to be totally overwhelming for her, and even her most paranoid worried mind couldn't have imagined this.

"I'm a freak, I'm a fucked up slut, a pathetic freak..."

"No... no you're not..." I could tell she was starting to struggle to find the right words. "He made you do it, you didn't want it, you have nothing to be ashamed of,"

I broke away from her, jerking violently, "NO! That's the worst, I DID want it, I was under his thumb, I felt so powerless, but he made me feel so good, even when I didn't want it. I couldn't stop it," I got much quieter, "He succeeded, I bent to his will, and I don't know how long I would've been there if you hadn't called the police..."

There was a long silence in the room. At least my story was over, but even in the retelling of the story, I felt conflicted. There was so much I hated, but then there was the feeling, the earth-shattering orgasms I had, the ones I was unable to fight. I wanted to be totally disgusted, totally turned off from the entire world of S & M, but there was still inner turmoil, trying to figure out my feelings.

"I... I'm sorry, Brooke. I don't know what to say..." Andrea whispered, breaking our silence.

I wiped my face, and stood up.

"Well, that's the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I thought I'd feel better." My words were cold, and I hoped Andrea didn't think I was ungrateful. "I'm going to bed now."

I promptly turned around after my announcement, and headed up the stairs without another word. I definitely left something in the air between us, but I had just spent the last 20 minutes crying and pouring my heart out, I could make my apologies tomorrow.

I opened the door, and the bed had been made, mail for me on the dresser. I collapsed in a heap on top of the covers, too exhausted to even get underneath them. Instinctively I curled up, since the last couple nights my body had been trained to rest in the confines of a small metal cage. I shivered, and I couldn't get those thoughts and images out of my head. I stared into the wall, seeing his hard eyes back at me, even though I knew he was miles away. Eventually though, my mind calmed, and I drifted to sleep.

A few days passed, and I hadn't Andrea for more than a couple minutes. We were working, attending class, and studying, and didn't leave much time for us to cross paths. She was being a real sweetheart though, leaving me prepared meals in the fridge, and finding time to do all the housework. I bought her a big chocolate thing.

I didn't feel back to normal, but I was mentally stable as I busied myself with my everyday tasks and responsibilities. The weekend at David's was always in the back of my mind. I still was unsure, and rather upset with myself, but every day that passed was more distance between me and it.

Thursday night I arrived home, Andrea was finally still here, and I went to sit with her. We both paused, took a deep breath, and realized we were both about to start talking. We laughed, but I went first.

"Hey... I just wanted to say how much I appreciate all you've done for me, and you being here for me. This... whole thing... isn't really something I can share with my parents or family, or most people really, so it means a lot that you could listen,"

"You're welcome hon," she said warmly. "I'm here for you, and I know if I was in a mess, you would be here for me too. I'm sorry that I don't really understand it all, but you're home, and you're safe."

I smiled, but some of her words were pretty real for me. She still didn't understand the why, I'm sure, and I didn't go into a lot of detail about all our "activities." I felt a little more alienated though, like there were a lot less people interested in the things I had been interested in. Andrea was the only real person in my life who knew about me. I didn't know if I could even share my dark side with anyone else, just out of fear of rejection.

A couple weeks went by, and our finals were coming up, over the course of the next 10 days. I enjoyed being stressed out about something so normal, cramming lots of knowledge, and still trying to work left me no time to feel sorry for myself, or indulge any kind of lewd thoughts. I had never been busier in my whole life, and I started feeling happy about it.

Of course, that subsided, as soon as I felt myself getting behind. The insurance claim had finally come through, and while I was covered, I had to pay a lot more every month. One of my coworkers quit at the deli, probably because it was finals week for him too, and I was forced to pick up another shift. I had papers due, a project to complete, tests to study for, and it came at me like a whirlwind.

I longed for the day when I could stop worrying, to not wake up every morning with a to-do list. Unfortunately, it felt like a distant fantasy, I was still a student, still poor, and I pouted at the dismal thought. Each day dragged, and I was grumpier, more tired, and stretched thinner with every one that passed. My job was first to take a hit, my manager told me I wasn't working well, and that I wasn't dealing with the customers right. He was probably right. Next, my classes were affected; I couldn't remember everything I needed to during my first couple tests. I lamented as I knew my grades wouldn't be as good as I had hoped.

Things weren't falling apart, but I felt like I was hanging by a thread. I hadn't seen most of my friends in weeks, yet the hours seemed to fill every day. Maybe I wasn't sleeping well, or maybe it was just the heat, but something was under my skin. I arrived home late at night, had a quick bite to eat, then went upstairs to collapse on my bed.

I began to dream, a lot more vividly than I had been recently. It was my mind, yet I was still surprised...

I was bound tightly, and most of my clothes had been ripped off me, only a few shreds still hanging, and my chest and butt were totally exposed. My wrists were help behind my back, and my ankles were tied tightly together. I was gagged, and my face was pressed against the floor.

A hand came to my pussy, rubbing it gently, barely pressing into me.

"My, my, little pet, you are getting quite excited, and we've barely started..." a deep voice teased.

I whimpered, wiggling my ass back and forth, pushing for more contact. Without warning large palms came down on my butt cheeks, spanking me hard. I moaned into the gag, raising myself up further to allow for punishment.

"No more moving around pet... I'll see to that."

A few more ropes and belts were wrapped around me, and minutes later, I was being hoisted off the ground. I squealed, feeling even more powerless and helpless. A blindfold was put over my eyes too, even my senses were being imprisoned.

His hands ran all over my skin, pinching, squeezing, and teasing every inch of flesh. I spun slowly as he had his way with me. Suddenly he was behind me, firmly gripping my hips. I felt his hard member press against me. He dug his fingers into my skin, I braced myself, and he pushed...

I woke up with a start. For a minute, I took in my surroundings; I was alone, in my room, and safe. Yet as I reached down, my pussy was sopping wet. I brought my knees in close to my chest, and hugged them, making myself the smallest ball I could.

What the hell was happening to me? The weekend with David had been a disaster, and at times, a nightmare. I tried the submissive thing, and I thought I wanted it all behind me. Yet, just like before, I had dreamt another vivid, lewd, raunchy scene, and my body was telling me it liked it. Why was I still having these dreams, why was I still feeling this desire? I stared at the ceiling for a long while, wrestling with my thoughts and emotions while lying on my bed.

The next morning was Saturday, finals were over, and I could finally breathe a little bit. I was sleeping in, when there was a knock on my door.

"Brooke, wake up. I made food, come down for breakfast." Andrea's voice came through like the unwanted morning sunlight. I grunted in an unladylike fashion, letting her know I heard, and wasn't happy about it.

A few minutes later I lumbered down the stairs, still in pajama bottoms, and inhaled the smell of eggs and pancakes. A plate was already set for me, and Andrea was just putting the hot food on our plates.

"Wow, this is a lot, thanks Dray," I said.

"Sure thing," she replied nonchalantly.

I looked at her as I took my first few bites. She didn't seem to be in the best of moods, yet this was something really nice that she had done. Maybe she had something she needed to talk about. My thoughts were interrupted by Jude pushing his nose into my lap, his own way of begging for scraps. I laughed, but I knew better than to feed him from the table. Jude trotted around, taking turns being petted from me and Andrea, and I think he helped ease a little of the tension. Finally, Andrea set her fork down, and turned toward me to speak.

"So, I know this has been a rough stretch for you here, but are you sure you're ok? You've not been yourself at all lately, and pretty cranky, actually."

I sighed, "Yea, I know. I got really overloaded with work and finals and you know, had other stuff in the back of my mind too."

She understood what I was hinting at. "Still? I mean, you're still thinking about that, I mean, I'm sure you're not totally over it all but..."

"Well, just last night especially..."

We both paused, trailing off from our thoughts.

She began again, "Look, I had a psych professor that I've stayed really close with. She's pretty young for a teacher, and cool: she gets it. If I asked her, I think it could be a good idea to talk with her, about your... experience. I came to her with some of my personal problems, and she gave me some of the best advice I'd ever got."