Punishment: a Sub's Perspective

This punishment took place over the internet, but it is how it was perceived in the sub's mind as it happened. His Domme's perspective will be posted soon and is an actual accounting of what occurred, and her thoughts on it.

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The night was new (...well reasonably so) and I was to get to spend quality time with Mistress. Feelings of joy and excitement filled my soul. She had plans. I couldn't wait to discover what they were. Then it happened, I ignored some of her comments and then I nodded off to sleep. OMG, did I just do that?

Feelings of guilt and shame flooded my brain as I awoke. How could I? She is amazing. I didn't nod off, did I? Please let it be a dream. I am enraptured by her very existence, her spirit fills me, she is so marvelous, and there was no way I could have done it. Right? It had to have been a dream. Then she spoke and I knew it was real. Fear, anxiety, utter disgrace, and shame filled me. I apologized. I begged forgiveness. I had no excuse.

Mistress understood. She talked to me about her disappointment. I felt sick as she spoke about her fear of punishing me so soon after so much hard spanking the night before. She told me she had resolved to not spank me this day. That was the worst! She was going to be denied the punishment she needed to give me - just to 'clean the slate'. I was going to feel sorrow and internal anguish for a whole day. And this after she made sure to reassure me that she cared about me deeply - even though I had so dishonored her.

I knew in my soul that punishment awaited me - when she felt willing to give it. She had to be furious at me; her anger would only burn more even so.

Then it happened. The clock bells tolled; midnight had arrived. Though nothing had changed until she spoke, it was now a new day. She now had fulfilled her promise (to herself) not to spank me during the previous day - but midnight brought a new day. Now she felt it was safe to punish me.

She let me know she had been forced to change her original plans because of my transgressions. I was stunned as she told me this. My fears became more pronounced. I knew I was going to feel a real punishment spanking. She had spanked me hard before but she had often warned that it was nothing compared to a real punishment spanking! I was going to find that out now.

She told me to take off my pants and underwear and lie across her knee. I began to breath harder my body began to shiver. I wasn't ready, my mind screamed my apology. I begged her to be gentle with me - her new sub - because I truly love you and I didn't mean it, that it was an accident. She looked at me sternly saying only: "It was rude, disrespectful and wrong. You have earned every stroke I am about to give you".

I nodded. I accepted my punishment. I had earned each stroke she was about to deliver. She brought out a paddle - a black paddle. OMG! My mind screamed "No!". I had never had a paddle used on me before. My extremely anxious mind raced on.

"Please!" I begged. It was a last feeble attempt to change her mind and I knew it was a wasted effort. As I followed her instructions my trepidation rose to a level of extreme high. Tentatively, I laid down across her knee. She then told me of my punishment and she reminded me of the reason I had earned it.

For every spanking I now receive, I am required to ask her for the type of spanking I am to receive. My voice shook as I asked fearfully and with a gulp: "Please Mistress, may I have the Punishment Spanking I have earned now."

She responded affirmatively. She then rubbed the paddle against my still somewhat tender bottom, I felt her raise the paddle, my mind racing at the thought of what I was about to feel. SMACK!

My cheeks were set aflame. OMG... and that was only number one! I thanked her for the blow - and prepared for the next. SMACK! It was even harder than the first! My senses were filled with pain. I said, "Two. Mistress, thank you." I had managed to get it out. From there it went on and on. She paused every so often (as is her way) to check with me. To let me know she loves me. To care for me. To remind me that she truly needs to punish me but that she doesn't want actually to hurt me.

More than 20 times more the strokes fell! Each one added to the fire in my bottom.

And then it was over - my butt screaming at me. But over!

Normally, I am not allowed to touch my bottom after a spanking, but now she encouraged me to do whatever I needed to do in order to feel comfortable. After that punishment I touched my burning ass and felt... welts. Many of them. I had never been spanked so hard. At that moment it became perfectly clear to me that I treasure her greatly - that I am committed to her service more than I had thought.

She has commanded my service and so shall I serve. My thoughts: "Thank you, Mistress for my punishment. Thank you for accepting my service."

And "You are truly wonderful."