Pulling a Small Switch

I wait as directed. Kneeling naked on the rug near the end of the bed, knees spread wide, hands upturned on my thighs, back straight and head bowed.

My heart is heavy, everything has felt off lately and he won't talk to me. I have been trying so hard to please him, to make him happy. Doing my best to curb my independent streak and natural alpha tendencies, that rear their heads on occasion in the midst of play. But ever since I tied him down then disobeyed his, multiple, orders to release him... Well things just haven't been the same. He did listen when I explained myself but he keeps coming back to my disobeying a direct order from my Master, and not just once.

I know that he has struggled with me at times. We get on so well most of the time, and the sex is amazing, but I worry that I challenge him too much. He is a good man. A good Dom, despite the way we clash at times, and I care greatly for him but fear that I have spoiled another promising relationship with my own nature... I sigh as I stifle the need to squirm. I can't help the way I am, and I have tried so hard. But here I am, yet again, in trouble for pushing him too far.

Footsteps come up the hall and he enters the room. I watch his bare feet as he approaches and silently prowls around me. A cold hardness radiates from him and I start to tremble. I have never felt quite this feeling from him before, I swallow hard and breathe deep to control my reaction. Despite my trepidation my nipples pearl and my pussy floods with moisture as my focus narrows to exclude everything but him.

He stands behind me and runs his hand over my head before fisting a handful of hair and pulling my head back. I look into his eyes and another tremor passes through me as I see the flinty look in them. I struggle to think of everything I have done that may have displeased him. My brain obliges and a list of things spring to mind. On their own they aren't bad, but when put all together they add up to a lot and I shudder with the knowledge.

With his hand still holding my head he pulls me backward, tells me to prop myself on my arms and yanks my head back. His pants are undone and his cock stands erect above my face. He angles himself and tells me to open wide. With my mouth watering for a taste of him I gladly open and take him in, laving him with my tongue and teeth as he pushes in.

I suck and lick as he rides my mouth and pushes down my throat, my tongue playing along his length. The taste and thickness of him have my nipples pinching painfully tight and cream sliding from my pussy. He swells in my mouth and I suck harder as I rub my tongue along him faster. I hum with pleasure as my throat closes around his cock.

With a grunt he pushed down further then he starts to cum and pulls from my mouth and finishes over my face and chest. He tells me to rub it in over my breasts and face. I do as he orders moaning as my hands brush over my hard, sensitive nipples. My tongue darts out to lick at the seed on my lips. He rips my head up and growls that he didn't give me permission to lick it. He tucks himself back into his jeans, leaving them undone, before dragging me to my feet.

He pushes me onto the edge of the bed and tells me to kneel with my head down and arms reaching along the insides of my legs. He grabs one ankle and wraps a cuff around it then secures my wrist next to it. He yanks my other leg, spreading me wide and cuffs it to the other end of the spreader bar, my other wrist quickly joins it.

I can't move, my face planted on the mattress and my butt in the air, totally exposed to him. He asks me what I did wrong. I answer with my most immediate sin, that I licked my lips.

With a growl he asks, "What else?"

I can't answer, my mind has gone blank. I stammer that I don't know. And, to a point, I'm telling the truth, I don't know what particular transgression has triggered his ire. None of the things I can think of warrant this level of anger.

His hand lands hard on my rear and he says to try again. Pain blooms but quickly turns to a heat that spears straight to my groin and my pussy clenches tight with need. I can't think what has displeased him so much. He spanks me again, but still I can't think of what in particular I have done and I say so.

He moves away for a moment and comes back with a thin crop in his hand. I eye it with trepidation, this one hurts and is for true punishment.

He gives me one more chance to answer. I stammer that I don't know. Although I am starting to suspect that whatever my transgression it is one that has been blown out of proportion.

He tells me that I have earned 30 strikes, to count each one and that if I lose count I will get and extra 5 strikes for each one.

My heart quails, this is a high count to start with. I close my eyes and breathe deep, my last deep breath, as the first strike lands hard, very hard. My breath whooshes out with a grunt of pain and I quickly gabble out, "One".

By the time I count to 7 my left cheek is on fire and tears are threatening but my pussy is as much on fire as my butt is. He's never hit me this hard before. At least not to start with, he has always warmed me up first. He switches to my right cheek for 8 & 10 but before I can blink he hits my left cheek for 11 and stays there hitting the same area, again and again. By the time he gets to 15 tears are trickling down my face and my pussy is clenching painfully hard.

My body is a conflagration of pain and arousal. My need spiraling high as I ride that edge that only pleasure/pain can give. But he stops me from hitting subspace. This truly is punishment.

He stops and runs his fingers down my slit and shoves them in front of my eyes, showing me the evidence of my own arousal. That fleeting feel of his fingers was nearly enough to tip me over the edge and he knows it. He shoves his fingers in my mouth so I can suck and lick them clean.

He asks again what I did, with a soft sob I tell him every little thing that I can think of. He takes up the crop again. The second half of my punishment has me crying and begging for forgiveness, and to allow me to cum. I lose count. Finally he get to the last 2 strikes and they are delivered directly over my pussy and clit, I scream as I start to cum.

Then he slams into me, pushing through my tightness in one powerful thrust. The waves of my orgasm keep coming violently as he rides me hard. His hips hitting painfully into my tender rear. Pleasure and pain overwhelm me, blanking my mind to everything except the turmoil within my body.

The feel of him inside me growing bigger and harder before he joins me in release. I come back to myself while he is releasing me from my bonds. More pain rushes through me as he helps me roll over and massages my aching and over stretched muscles. His soothing tone and hands a stark contrast to how he was before. My confusion over his actions makes me glare at him.

The night passes with several more doses of punishment. I have never been pushed so hard in one night. And my heart is torn when he removes my collar me and tells me to leave. He doesn't like my independence, my pushing at or defying his control. Although we do talk there is no reconciling our differences.

I am not totally surprised, I had seen the warning signs. But I had hoped that we could work through it.

I sit alone listening to Disturbed playing on my CD deck. I have been alone for a long time now. And again I am wondering if there is a man who is my other half. Who can accept me the way that I am. Who is Dominant enough to not be threatened by my own alpha qualities. I am a submissive at heart, but not an easy one.