Professor Fleming Lectures on the Necessity for Legalized Sexual Slavery
Author's note: I dare you to read this. I double dare you to understand it! I triple dare you to leave a comment after you've read this. -Otis
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It was the first week of the Fall Semester at the bucolic campus of Rice University. Some 30 graduate students were shuffling into the small lecture hall for the first class of the semester.
"Good morning, class. My name is Professor Gary Fleming, and I welcome you to your graduate level course entitled the Dynamics of Asymmetrical Relationships. Everyone please take your seats so we can begin.
"As I am sure you are all aware, two years ago, Congress enacted the Slavery Enablement Statutes of 2018. These statutes legitimized the enslavement of a wide swath of the American population, primarily those afflicted with submissive tendencies that could not be kept in check.
"Under the law those submissives captured by duly certified slavers forfeit all civil liberties and are retrained to become sexual slaves. The law requires them to sexually service those of us who still have the financial wherewithal to purchase them at market.
"With the advent and de facto national legalization of gay marriage, we no longer care about sexual orientation as we did in more puritanical times. Accordingly, those citizens who become conscripted into sexual service can no longer assert a sexual preference one way or the other, as the law sanctions owners buying and being serviced by slaves of either gender.
"Also, I would be remiss if I didn't point out that a sizable proportion of those affected by the enforcement of the statutes are reoriented to work in offices and factories performing intellectual and physical labor for employees who are no longer legally bound to pay them wages or benefits after purchasing them at auction. This has proven to be a boon for our monthly unemployment figures and statistical measurement of worker productivity throughout our economy.
"Does anyone know what precipitated this momentous legislation?"
Professor Fleming looked around the lecture hall, surveying the students he would be instructing throughout the semester. None of them seemed to have a clue as to how to answer his question. They were predominately the lazy and disinterested offspring of rich suburbanites scattered across the few remaining gated communities in Houston.
Studying his students, he made a mental note regarding one or two prospective 'candidates' whom he would likely groom for a more 'transformative experience' lasting long beyond the current semester.
"Well, let me explain what led up to the enactment of the statutes," explained the professor.
"It seems that capitalism as we know it finally failed somewhere between 2015 and 2018.
"Up to that point in time the Federal government ran massive national deficits year after year culminating in a National Debt upwards towards $45 trillion.
"Somewhere around this time the American economy reached a fateful tipping point. The policy makers in Washington realized that they could no longer afford to continue any form of quantitative easing. The Federal Reserve could no longer pump the $100 to $150 billion into the economy each and every month to keep up liquidity and keep interest rates artificially low enough to finance expansion.
"When the monthly injections of liquidity stopped, interest rates started to uptick sharply and the stock market crashed wiping out the life savings of much of the middle class.
"At the same time austerity policies instituted by the President acting in concert with Congressional committees immediately proved to be catastrophic as unemployment began to surge upwards towards 24% or higher for many demographic groups which in turn triggered a tsunami of foreclosures and bankruptcies.
"If that wasn't bad enough the pot boiled over for those who were cut off from the various and sundry entitlement benefits they had grown accustomed to. Flash mobs took to the streets and occupied government buildings, demanding a 'restoration' of social justice.
"So, my dear students, you may now be asking yourselves what this has to do with the reinstitution of slavery in America. Well, as they used to say, necessity is indeed the mother of invention.
"In our twenty first century world, social justice has been the operative phrase. It would be an abuse global in magnitude not to redistribute the wealth of those who participated and benefited from the inequities of the system when it was seemingly working.
"The policy makers in Washington realized that the crisis could be somewhat ameliorated by actually monetizing segments of individuals in society at large.
"Now class, can anyone tell me what it means to monetize an individual? Does anyone know what the word 'monetize' means?"
The professor looked around the class but saw no hands being raised.
"Let me explain this concept. In matters of finance, to monetize is to convert an asset or even a debt into money or a stream of revenue.
"As an example, the Federal Reserve has for a very long time monetized the national debt created by deficit spending by purchasing Treasury Bills with fiat or imaginary money, thereby increasing the money supply available to households and businesses at least on paper.
"Leading up to the Economic Collapse it was probably true that the currency in circulation i.e., the money we all used to pay down car notes and mortgages was just as much a certificate of indebtedness as it was an instrument of legal tender.
"In other words, we were all using the US dollar as a medium of exchange when it was actually a medium of debt. This situation is analogous to a swimmer trying to breath through his mouth under water.
"And this, class, is what precipitated what we now call the great Economic Collapse.
"But I digress, class."
"With the advent of the Collapse, Congress promulgated the Enabling Statutes in order to provide for the orderly monetization of those psychologically marginal male and female defectives grazing freely in our society, removing them from the job rolls, removing them from the unemployment rolls, and at the same time, generating revenues from the sale and purchase of slaves at officially sanctioned auctions.
"Enslaving those who were no longer worthy to function among us was a brilliant and elegant solution to effectively address the collapse of the U.S. economy. We no longer had to provide them government services or benefits or even wages.
"Those still wealthy enough to frequent the auctions single-handedly jump-started an otherwise moribund economy by spending their hard currency on slaves who were trained to satisfy an owner's every sexual need. The economic stimulus derived from the slave auctions was a welcome private sector substitute for the discontinued injections of Quantitative Easing by the Federal Reserve."
At this point in his well-practiced introductory lecture, Professor Fleming shifted his attention to ethics.
"Class, I'm going to need a show of hands here. Is there anyone in this class who seriously believes that in this day and age it is inhumane to enslave other people?"
Several students raised their hands.
"Yes, young lady," the Professor said, pointing to one female student.
"Sir, I have a problem denying another human being of their equality," she said.
"Why's that, Melissa?" He asked, reading her name tag.
"It just doesn't seem right. I was always taught that we were all created equal under the law."
"Who else feels the same way?" asked the Professor.
Maybe half the hands tentatively went up in agreement.
"Very well, class, let me take some time to disabuse you of this notion once and for all.
"With the collapse of capitalism as we know it, living in the United States has become a zero sum game.
"In other words, in this environment, one get only get ahead at the expense of others. We used to say that a rising tide lifts all boats. But that is certainly no longer true today.
"Who's following me here?"
Three quarters of the hands went up.
"Your parents are paying a pretty penny for you to attend this expensive ivy league university. And those of you who have taken out student loans are going to struggle to pay them off for years to come.
"Let me ask you this question, class. Where are you ever going to find your first, second or third job, if those deemed unworthy or morally defective remain in their jobs with impunity? How else would you be able to 'monetize' the expense of your higher education? How do you expect to climb up the ladder when the unworthy and unfit are hogging up the higher rungs above you?