Princess Reflects on Power Dynamics

Reader - Princess does not expect you to get much pleasure out of this as it's not very sexy, so read on or don't. These are simply her musings on her dynamic with Daddy after an uncomfortable new experience. Take this as insight into a brand-spanking new submissive's mind as she dips her toe into the murky waters of BDSM power dynamics and begins to understand herself and her needs as a sub.

A lot has happened between when they first met and now, and Princess is excited to share her sexy story of awakening and more about her hot Daddy soon. For now, though, she just needs to think and process and feel safe.

___

Yesterday had been a lot of trying new things for Princess, including unflattering angles, and definitely pushing her boundaries. All things she wanted and damn near demanded from Daddy, but today she is feeling uncomfortable in her own skin.

This is supposed to be a freeing experience for Princess, this time with her Daddy. One that also recharges and empowers her through submission. Instead, at this moment, all Princess feels is vulnerable... and not the tie me up and shove a dildo in me "fun" kind of vulnerable.

It's a bit ironic, she thinks, putting a lot of trust into a stranger she has only known a week, but she swears there is something there. Not that she has heart eyes over Daddy (okay maybe a little but that's to be expected with sex), but rather that she's been so openly honest with him since they met, and gets the sense that he has been the same with her. The chemistry, the like-minded kink, the trust - it's intense.

Up to this point, she has felt nothing but safe in her interactions with Daddy. He regularly checks in that their dynamic meets her needs, and he wants to make sure she is comfortable and okay after every time he pushes her. That part all feels right. Not to mention the praise he gives her for trying new things, or for just looking and being herself.

Not wanting all of her BDSM education to come from Daddy - she's an intellectual businesswoman after all - she's been doing lots of reading online, chatting with people in online forums, and meeting people in the kink community. All of this is leading her to understand how her desires, both in sex and a little in life, align with most submissive traits.

She is learning that submissives enjoy yielding control in different ways. Some prefer to willingly give control to their partner, while others may want it taken from them. For some, submission is limited to the bedroom, while for others, it extends to their 24/7 daily life, with certain boundaries. The essence of being submissive lies more in knowing who chooses to take charge and assume the responsibilities that come with it, rather than the specific actions involved.

And she resonates with all of that. Most notably, the part about handing over the power for someone else to assume responsibility for her/them within the dynamic.

Long distance and sharing herself with someone who also has a spouse, like she does, is challenging when the time doesn't line up to give/receive. But she and Daddy both try to make time for each other, and she feels that he does a good job of setting expectations on when he can be available.

But... even with that open communication, there is still a significant power dynamic, and she is realizing that she relies on him for certain things more than she thought she ever would. It isn't just about the sex with Daddy. It's that he is someone to give her rules, kink release, orgasms, and for a brief few hours a day, takes on the responsibility for her well-being. Someone to understand when she needs the push and when she needs the praise.

In real life, her job is a symphony of constant chaos that she must master, often putting her in decision fatigue. At home, her husband is putting her more and more in the decision-maker role, otherwise, nothing gets done, and he spends more time on his phone than with her.

It's a lot of daily pressure, so she enjoys that she has found someone with some time who can take the decisions away and tell her what she needs. To allow her to focus solely on her release, whether that comes from one of her kinks like submitting, degradation, shame, punishment, or pleasure.

That's the power dynamic she didn't even know she was craving. Daddy decides when and how orgasms occur, reading her to see what she needs. Does she need to be degraded in that moment, to make her say that she is Daddy's little whore? Does she need pain or punishment, to feel the sting against her skin and see the stripes on her body? Does she need to let the brat out to play, to seek admiration from others for her curves and her sexiness? To direct her and settle her and bring her to heel, quieting her mind?

Sexually, at home, Princess is in charge of her own orgasms. Her husband doesn't prioritize them during the monthly occurrence that they do have sex, and she honestly can't recall the last time he has seen one from her. No, she has to find the time on her own to find release, which she attempts daily, sometimes taking hours because she can't quiet her mind or because she feels so much pressure with her ability to even make herself cum, worrying that it won't feel as good as she needs it to.

She again reflects on how fast this has been, how she stumbled into this dynamic with Daddy, and it awakened something in her that is so intense. Some long-dormant understanding of what she needs to be fulfilled. She gives over that power to Daddy to either make her feel strong, even when she submits and is used for Daddy's pleasure, or to leave her feeling weak with all the weight of the world on her shaking shoulders. It is not her kink to feel weak and small.

This morning, Princess is chasing the fluttery feeling in her clit with her vibrator, flirting with Daddy and sending him pictures. Daddy tells her he won't be very available today, and Princess understands that - life and all. She is thankful that he let her know, and since Daddy directs the orgasms, she knows she won't be getting any today. But the feeling on her clit is nice so she sits with it a little longer. Daddy sends her a message.

"I'm in a good mood. As a Friday treat for being a very good little toy all week... (Princess preens at this)... I will allow you one hour of free play. Do what you want."

All of those good feelings come crashing down, and she immediately feels very turned off. She curls in on herself, placing her hand over her queasy stomach.

Do what you want...

Do what she wants...

But Princess doesn't know. The pressure starts piling back on. Does she have to be in charge of her release? By doing what? What would feel good? What if she can't get it done in an hour? Would whipping herself help? Her fingers? Does she need just her clit or penetration? Her first Friday meeting starts in an hour; what if she doesn't get done in time? Her mind is spinning.

Logically, she understands that Daddy means this to be a good thing. That he is giving her the freedom to cum if she wants because he knows he won't be available during the day to direct her as she usually needs. But if there is one thing she has quickly come to understand about herself in the last week, it's that she needs some parameters. Some rules.

She's always been honest with Daddy, so she tells him what she needs, without trying to sound too needy.

"Ummm... If you have the opportunity to give me some structure or rules around "free play" later, I'd appreciate that. But I understand you're busy. Have a good rest of your day, Daddy."

Then, Princess switches to the code they use when talking outside of the dynamic. She tells him that she is feeling a little pressure around making her own decisions right now and that it's not really what she needs.

Being the good Daddy that he is, he responds and tries to help her.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Princess. I get that. How about this? I want you to cum for me as many times as you can manage for the next thirty minutes. Use our conversations as inspiration or go post a picture to get attention. You can erase it when you're done if you want."

She reads this, and yet the sinking feeling continues. This doesn't feel like her Daddy. This feels... dare she think it... rushed? Half-assed? As if she is another low priority to satisfy and be gone?

She puts the phone down and decides to turn her attention to a different type of self-care. Choosing instead to make herself feel good by looking good. Blow drying her hair, lotioning her body, adding all the perfect touches to her makeup, and choosing lingerie and an outfit that makes her feel sexy.

After no response back, Daddy reaches out to her in their code, telling her he is sorry if what he suggested did not land right.

Princess takes a breath. She doesn't want him to feel bad, and this is where her thoughts start to muddle.

He did communicate that he wouldn't be available today. He did initiate something to try to bring her release. So why wasn't this sitting right? Was it the pressure of doing it herself? Was it the feeling of low priority? But being a priority was never part of their dynamic... was it? Had she subconsciously hoped to be one without properly setting or understanding expectations?

She still has a lot to process, but she also feels like she needs to let Daddy off the hook, deciding to be the honest, flirty version of herself she has always been with him. No fronts.

"It's not your fault, Daddy. I know you aren't always available to give me what I need. That sounds emotionally manipulative, and I promise I don't mean it that way. It's just a little vulnerable to know you're dependent on someone for something that they can't always give you. Honesty, right?"

She glances at the clock, only a few minutes left until her meeting starts. She tells Daddy that she won't be able to cum in the 30 minutes like he instructed because she chose to get ready for her meeting instead. Wanting to keep the moment positive, Princess sends one more message.

"Today may just not be a good day for us, Daddy. That's okay. Keep your good mood!" Then, she sends him a kiss.

Daddy sends her a heart back.

"I hear you, Princess! I will take this on and make it up to you."

And with that, the conversation is over. Princess tries to regulate her emotions as she continues getting ready for the day. Is it wrong of her to feel this uncomfortable way she is feeling? Is this something for her to get over? Daddy has a life outside of their dynamic, the same as she does, and his attention can't always be on her. She knows this. She understands this. She accepts this. She agrees with this, because hell, she has the same thing on her side.

Maybe she is giving too much of herself to Daddy and needs to pull back to protect herself? No. She doesn't like that. In her whole life, she has always given all of herself to her family, friends, partners, work, hobbies... It doesn't feel right to hold anything back. She wants to experience life as her whole self.

Princess sighs as she puts on her necklace - a clue Daddy has yet to ask about - and snaps a few photos to send off to Daddy. Again, wanting to keep the dynamic positive, and letting Daddy know that she is okay.

She believes she may really be okay, she just has a lot of "new" to process, emotions to regulate for her own safety, and to identify what thoughts she wants to share later when they have more time.

Daddy said that he wants to explore this... dynamic... with her further, and she hopes it is with the intent of wanting to discover how the dom he is, meets with the sub in her.

She hopes they can find a way. It's hard to imagine having to once again take on all of the control in her life. It makes Princess's breath catch, quite honestly.

___

Now don't let her musings put you off of Daddy and Princess, dear reader. There is much of their story still to tell. Princess appreciates your patience and your listening ear and hopes you stick around for more.