Post Play Reflection

It's been 36 hours since he left. I was completely spent, splayed on the couch and didn't manage to get up to see him out. I had forgotten about the banana bread I had baked for him that morning, tingling and breathless over the most domestic of chores. The act of service remained in the fridge, wrapped in baking paper and yellow gingham fabric. A cute token of thanks for spanks, caning and overall exquisite escapism.

A couple of times a year I book in with a professional Dominant for a three hour session. It's expensive but worth every cent. The skill and close attention involved in this work is everything I want and have wanted for decades. I save diligently and earn the privilege. Since the pandemic I book an Airbnb instead of the risk involved with sharing air with others on the premises of the dungeon he works out of. The first time we did an outcall I booked a serviced apartment and the parking was a palaver, the walls were shared and I had to be quiet, which I didn't care for. This time a suburban three bedroom house with infinite spaces to fuck, time to settle in, much easier and conducive to the unfurling I seek.

I do like that dungeon though. I like how people can hear me while I'm finally out of my head and existing only as nerve endings and cavities to fill. The first time I met him at Fetish House there was an IT guy fixing the NBN. Sir James returned with a glass of water for me mid session. I was completely still just as he'd told me to be, bent over a bench with my face down. He had the giggles and gleefully relayed "The IT guy was being a sexist asshole to one of the Mistresses and he just left, she told me he was so freaked out by all of your screaming, it was the best!" I would have high fived him but my wrists were tied down.

I'm not afraid today of the relentless danger of the air, of sharing spaces with other people. I don't dwell on a painful and terrifying death, alone in a hospital. I'm taking the precautions I always take, but my needs are met so everything feels easier. I'm ravaged and fucked just the way I like and I transcend edge after edge, closely witnessed and told earnestly that I'm a good sub.

Back at home I can still feel the ripples of warmth shuddering through me, the echoes of pleasure exploding in and around and on and above. My god, the high of it. I tremble whenever my mind drifts into the session, and somehow I'm intensely present with where I am now. I have immense capacity to give what people need of me.

The first few times I met up with him I kept wondering out loud why I liked what was happening so much. It felt so subversive and weird to cum as a result of a huge wolf of a man grinding his boot into my neck. I don't bother to question any of it anymore. I just give in and let myself feel good.

The moment it feels anything other than good, he knows. I'm halfway through calling out "orange" to signal that I need him to ease off immediately and he's holding back already. His excellence at reading bodies never skips a beat. I wonder if he has an an earpiece with a GPS for my nerve endings, feeding him all my secrets.

This is what happened when we met in that suburban house, 36 hours ago:

It's hotter than hell and I found all the air con units and turned them on when I arrived, but even after a cold shower I need to drape a sopping tea towel around my neck to keep cool. I'd taken a RAT that morning and sent him a pic of the result with my serene face beaming with relief. "Novid is the best kind of Covid" he replies. So we were on, at last. I had reiterated my limits and no go zones, finishing with "see you at 6".

He messages me on arrival and asks if I have a RAT for him. I invite him in and hand him the test, and we stand at either end of the kitchen while he penetrates his face. I watch intently because I like his face and can't wait to see it while he's doing unspeakable things later. Initially I feel relaxed but the more chitter chatter we exchange about unsexy things the more nervous I become... in a good way. He asks about my day and I can't think of any way to answer the question so I flit around a bit before admitting my nerves. He smiles. I feel better.

With a negative test result clear on the table between us, he looks at me and says he'll be right back after getting his bag of tricks from the car.

I'm not sure what to do so I hover in the foyer thinking about how I'm sure this time I'll be able to withstand his clear instructions. I've had enough practice now and I want to push back, because it feels fun. He's fucking massive and strong as an ox, and I love how when I run my hands over his legs they're pure slabs of muscle, and that he doesn't react. He is indifferent to what I do to him for the most part because what we are doing is about me.

He steps inside and closes the door behind him, locking it. Click. I start panting without realizing it and my eyes grow wide as I take in the huge duffel bag and the cane he's carrying. He is going to take it on it's maiden voyage tonight, with me. It has a ridged wooden handle and I don't know what else anything looks like because he's approached me and grabbed me by the hair.

He pulls hard and it's so strange because it doesn't feel like someone is pulling my hair. It feels like he's reaching inside me and scratching an itch. The pressure is firm and unyielding, and his focus is laser sharp. I always become confused at the start... I have all these plans and they crack like eggs on tiles while I cease to have control. He's pushed my buttons and all I want to do is give in and please him.

"Get on your hands and knees on the couch". I do so in the blink of an eye and he shoves me down so my face is on the leather. I can barely contain my glee and then WHACK. Oh shit. His palm connects with my butt and I can see through time. It stings in the best way, and like the hair pulling it is beyond delectable. I break out in goosebumps and make general indiscernible lusty sounds. I have no idea what it sounds like but I feel it all echoing through me and I think I might have said "is that all you got?" and he lets out a low chuckle.

"Oh really? Ok. Let's go"

And Jesus fucking Christ the force of his hand as the hard and fast spanking lands, I can't believe I can take it and that it feels so good. He has not a drop of aggression in his body. It's smoothly delivered. Precise.

"Oh, you're MEAN today!"

And I don't mean that, I just mean that he's being a bit more intense and menacing which is precisely what I asked of him. We're leveling up and I'm ready.

At some point a heavy leather collar is snapped shut around my neck. It has the effect of sending me into a hazy sleep state where I know I'm in his hands, and they're good safe hands to be in so I don't worry about a thing.

Having reduced me to a pool of sweaty gasping horn, he takes a few steps over to his bag and unzips it slowly. I look up like a meerkat and can't stop smiling at what I'm seeing. He's getting some things out and I can't explain it - I can see but not see what's happening. I'm too horny to see properly - I can only process small bits at a time. "Enjoying the view?"

"Yeah!"

"Excuse me?"

My pupils dilate and it feels like my heart has stopped. I know what I'm doing. He knows what I'm doing. What I don't know is what he's going to do about it. Fuuuuuuck.

"Care to try that again?" His voice is measured and calm, and I smirk and reply "No."

Three footsteps and he's standing behind me, pushing me face down with his flat palm colliding with my ass. He takes a few moments and says "you're wearing too many things" and pulls me upright on my knees, peeling off a layer from behind, pushing me down to leave me in my undies. I feel a bit exposed and then he takes those too.

"Arch your back and spread your cheeks."

I reach behind and do so, automatically looking down. I'm heading off to outer space and at the same time feeling everything here in this room. I feel something cold easing into my butt. Is he putting a fucking ice cube in there? Hold on there was no ice in the freezer when I looked earlier oh my fucking... oh ok so this is new. He's only ever fucked me with his fingers before but he's filled me up with a plug and to help it ease all the way in he reached around with a Hitachi wand and grinds it hard against my clit. Mission accomplished.

"Count to eleven".

The fuck? WHACK. Oh shit. The cane. What have I done? I feel like I'm being sliced open via my butt cheeks and by the time we hit four strokes I'm screaming my apologies and begging him to stop. He doesn't.

"This is why we remember our manners".

"ORRRRANGE FUCK PLEASE ORANGE"

"Orange what?"

"ORANGESIRJAMESPLEASE"

The cane doesn't touch me again until I'm ready, and then it is lighter. I get to eleven and collapse in a heaving pile. Relieved, proud, turned on. Ready to do what I'm told.

He takes a Polaroid of my ass and its stripes, a souvenir.

"Good. Well done. Hop up and get me some cheese and a cracker with quince paste".

I'm not sure if that's possible but I don't have to think, only do. I raise myself up gingerly and I'm not in any pain but the plug in my ass is extremely noticeable. With every step I'm aware of it. This is fantastic.

I return with a glass of water and a single cracker. My hands were shaking too much to manage more and I go to hand it to him from the side of the couch, and when he raises an eyebrow I realize I'm supposed to come around to face him. Oh fuck. "I'm sorry! Here you go!"

He's shoved the coffee table aside and tells me to lay at his feet. I lower myself to the floor and lay looking up at the ceiling as he rests his boots on my chest. I am slick with sweat: this is the ultimate power move. He has a taste of the blue cheese I'd selected and murmurs his approval. I'm shaking from head to toe while he applies pressure with different parts of his boots and all I know is that my skin is singing and I couldn't tell you my own name. Then I feel something hard on my belly, my eyes are closed and I can't bring myself to open them but I understand that he's running the tip of the cane over my body. In some spots he lightly grazes my skin, in others he presses the tip firmly to get me to move in the way he wants. He forces my legs apart and the intense buzzing of the Hitachi drives me up to the edge.

"Sir James can I please cum?"

"Yes. Cum for me."

I completely disintegrate into a million shining pieces and thank him but he keeps grinding into me, and I ask to cum again, and do so with permission. I feel far away and there are strange sounds coming from my face that I don't recognise.

"Hey, are you ok?" his voice strong and loud but not in an angry way. I feel him unbuckling my collar and I come back into the room.

"Oh. I'm ok, I'm ok." I mumble. I think it's just the heat.

"You know I've choked people unconscious before as a wrestler and you looked exactly like they did before they passed out?"

"Oh." I feel annoyed at myself. He tells me to get myself some water and I know he wants to check I can walk before we continue. I'm ok. Just a bit wobbly. I drink some water and return with another glass for him.

"Sit on the couch here" he motions to sit up and I feel a bit weird about sitting on the nice leather couch when I'm so sweaty and sloppy but it's not my decision. He pushes my shoulders back and leans hard against me, my back melting into the couch as he puts some fingers in my mouth, and with his other hand which is encased in a black rubber glove, he starts finger fucking me vigorously. He never tires and hits all the good spots and then he brings the hitachi down on my clit. Fast and slow and fast and slow and fast fast fast. I have left the building and my eyes have rolled back in my head as I ask, cum, thank, again and again. I open my eyes for some reason and his face is hovering an inch from mine, intently taking in all of my slack jawed drooling, groaning and grunting. I'm loud and messy and as I take him in my eyes widen in surprise. When he's had enough and made me cum another four times in rapid succession he stops and as he stands up I can see his jeans are unbuttoned and his cock is standing up.

"Ohhhh! Hello my friend" I coo, and eagerly kneel between his legs. He instructs me to suck his balls and I do so greedily, licking and sucking at them, my hand reaching up for his thick cock which is wrapped in latex, getting it ready for my mouth.

Sir James grabs the back of my head and guides my mouth over his dick, and I suck hard as he fucks my face. I breathe through my nose and take all of him in, gagging a bit but not as much as last time.

"Someone's been practicing!"

I look up at him and smile with my eyes, and I lick the underside of his dick firmly and slowly all the way to the tip.

"Ohh that's good"

I keep teasing, sucking, licking, blowing him and playing with his balls.

Once he's satisfied he releases the back of my head and I get real chatty.

"No practice just visualising, thinking about how to improve. Better?"

"Very much! Well done"

I could turn into a big puddle of drool after receiving such a compliment. Any praise must be earned, and when it is, it's the ultimate. The last time I saw him was the first time I ever sucked cock and I was eager but unfamiliar so it wasn't the greatest. I had asked for pointers and filed them away, calling on them over the last few days as I daydreamed about choking on his beautiful and huge cock.

He tells me to get on my hands and knees. He removes the butt plug despite my protests and swats me on the ass a few times with a hard paddle.

I'm so confused, all of my senses are in overdrive, I can't possibly cum anymore but I couldn't bear it if we stopped. I have no idea what to do except obey him. I trust him.

He tells me to get him something sweet to eat, so I do, and then tells me to show him around the house. One bedroom, two bedroom, three bedroom: bingo. The bunk bed with many horizontal bars. We both thought the same thing when we looked at the listing about this room - that it would come in handy. He tells me to hold on to the top railing and not to move. Leaning my forehead against the metal bars, I'm panting a bit with the anticipation and straining to hear what he's up to. I can't think of a single thing beyond this room and what I'm feeling. Everything feels good, sweaty, wanting more. He's walking through the house slowly and deliberately, detouring to the kitchen for snacks, then finally comes into the room. My eyes are closed and I'm exactly where he left me. He shows me the Polaroid he took earlier, cheerfully announcing: "look at that cute butt!" I snort, I can barely see but I can make out a stripey backside and the vision is making my butt tingle.

"Mmmm. Good. Spread your legs. Wider" and as I hold on to the bars he slaps my ass hard, and fuck it feels good. He's rewiring what my body means. What it does. I exist only for sensation at his discretion. I am so relieved to have the act of decision making removed from the choices I have.

He brings some soft coils of rope into the picture and anchors my wrists to the upper bunk, wide apart. Once he's satisfied he puts my collar back on and my knees almost buckle. Sensory overload. He bites my ear hard and grinds against me, demanding to know "Who do your nipples belong to while you wear this collar?" and I call out "You, Sir James" as the vibrator hits hard on my clit again.

"FUUUUUUUUCCCCKKK"

"You tell me immediately if you feel dizzy, I need to know".

"Yes Sir James" - it all comes out in one breath. And after three more orgasms, a result of the hitachi wand, his fingers, my nipples and the way he's tugging at them, a paddle, his hand, my confusion, his unstoppable will, I can feel the room spin and I call out "DIZZY".

In seconds he's untied my wrists and is holding me up as I crumple slightly. He helps me lay down on the lower bunk and I catch my breath as he walks off, returning with some water for me. I have no idea how long we've been at it, and I don't care.

"Ass up" he commands, and I can feel the cold metal butt plug at the entrance but it hurts, it's too much for me right now.

"Orange it hurts Sir James please orange thank you" and he's already pulling away, then slowly fingerfucks me in one and then two holes while I relax and moan with the glittering pleasure of it all. He tries the plug again and it slides in easily, and I can feel every part of it expanding me. I can see velvet stars inside my eyelids. He fumbles around with his bag behind me and then I feel some sticky pads being attached to my butt cheeks.

"Have we done this before?" he asks and all I can do is shout "FUCK YES WE HAVE SIR JAMES" because I remember how good the TENS machine makes everything. The whole world is made of orgasms and we are going to float away forever on waves of pleasure. He fires up the machine, and I arch my back for him, with one gloved hand he fucks me with his fingers and with the other he holds the Hitachi wand against me and about nine seconds later I ask in a matter of fact way if I can please cum.

He doesn't answer.

He has never said anything other than "yes cum for me" to the point where I now can't stop my orgasm once he says those words. I ask again. Silence. He fucks me harder and turns up the TENS machine. Oh fuck. Oh no. I am held in place by him but have no way of working out what the fuck to do. I can feel the edge getting closer and closer and then I get that he's messing with me and that's even more erotic and I plead with him.

"Fuck, please Sir James can I please cum please please I'll do anything please can I cum now?!"

"Nope."

WHAT THE FUCK. I cum anyway and he clucks his tongue, making concerned sounds about my transgression. He hasn't stopped pounding into me and I cum in rapid succession before I can even ask.

"Oh no I'm sorry please Sir James is it ok if I cum now?"

Silence. That magnificent headfucker. I am impressed and I cum again.

"ORANGE PLEASE SIR JAMES"

He removes his fingers, the wand and the butt plug in rapid succession and I feel like I'm inside a blender and I'm ice and he's crushing me and I like it. He slowly, agonizingly, peels away the TENS pads from my buttocks and I collapse face down on the bed, legs akimbo, panting like a wild animal.

He's giggling. "That's a classic submissive position, you're so exposed, and you have no fight in you". This is all delivered with great joy. I can hear the satisfaction in his voice. He has high standards for himself and I know he's always proud to fuck someone into oblivion.

I have some water. I'm not sure if I get it or he does. I'm beyond comprehending anything at this point, and just go with it. It feels good to have completely surrendered.

"Stand up and put your hands behind your back". I do so without hesitation and he loops the rope around my left wrist, then my right, I can't see what he's doing but it feels deliberate and intricate. I collapse against him because I'm so turned on and he leads me back to the couch that I feel like I was last on a week ago. Time has lost all meaning, I'm deep in subspace and I want him to keep using me and doing whatever he feels like because all of his decisions are good and I'm unable to think like that anymore - like a person who has to come up with decisions. He fucked it right out of me.

I plonk down and groan, aftershocks rippling through my body, and I think I'm talking but all I'm getting out is "oh fuck", low and slow, repeatedly. He sits down next to me and puts his arm around me, and I nuzzle into him while he cradles the gelatinous goo that used to be me in human form.

His fingers glide up and down my back, my arms, and I can only let out a gutteral moan that goes on forever.

"What a wonderful way to spend an evening!" he says from far away even though he's holding me.