We're lying in bed together. She's fully dressed, I'm in the remains of my traveling clothes. Black jeans & socks, leather bracers, leather collar. My t-shirt is lying on the ground, along with the contents of my pockets. My keys had been uncomfortable to lie on, and the cat fur on the shirt was upsetting her allergies (living with four cats fuzzy clothing is sort of unavoidable).
We've been snuggling for a while. She's been playing with me, fingertips and fingernails on skin. It feels wonderful, and I've been reduced to incoherent gasping whimpers more than once already. A thought comes into my head, a thought I didn't expect at all. I lie there for a while still enjoying her touch while that thought bounces back and fourth in my mind. I'm screwing up my courage, trying to get the strength to ask it.
Finally I reach back to where she is stroking up my spine and gently take hold of her hand as it reaches my shoulder blades.
"Um..."
"Would... um..."
"Would... you..."
{I can't believe I'm asking this. I can't believe that now that I am asking it and want it very badly that I can't just say it.}
"Would you... Would you... ...top me?"
{I just asked that question? Me?!? I'm not into all that kinky stuff. I mean I've played around with power dynamics and stuff but nothing serious. Not like this. Oh gods what if she says no? What if she laughs at me?}
She pauses (I bet that was the last thing she was expecting!) then agrees with a smile.
~~
A brief interval ensues where we discuss what I want from this, safe words, etc. Then it begins.
It starts out pretty much like any other time someone has been playing with my skin. The touch of their hands on my skin, my eyes closed so I can concentrate on the sensation. Not long into it I roll from my side to my back trying to follow a touch. I hear her voice.
"It's ok this time because this position gives me better access to your neck, but in the future do not move without my permission."
Oh, right. She gets to decide what happens. Got to remember that, don't want to displease her, she might stop.
~~
It goes on for ages. She discovers what causes the most interesting reactions.
Fingernails raked across my chest and over my shoulder. I arch my back with a harsh intake of breath.
"You sound just like a cat hissing."
She lightly teases the palm of my hand with her fingertips. I whimper and writhe in response.
"Oh. I can do that in restaurants..."
(And she does, repeatedly over the next two days. In restaurants and stores. While looking at exhibits in a museum. Often while not even really paying attention to me. So she's looking at something else while stroking my palm and I'm trying to keep my whimpers inaudible and not wriggle enough to make people stare at me.)
~~
Eventually it winds down, I come back down from that out of it state I get when being played with. She tells me I did well, that I made her quite happy.
~~
{Fast forward to the next evening. Same setting, almost exactly the same as the previous night in fact.}
She is topping me again. Much the same as the previous night. Then she notices that my breathing changes every time she gets close to the collar I'm wearing, get within a half inch of it and my breathing quickens, short fast gasps.
She hooks a finger through the D-ring, and pulls just enough to make me fully conscious of the collar encircling my neck.
The collar, the one that sits in my bag with the rest of my odds 'n ends. The one I bought at a pet store a few years ago as part of a Halloween costume that didn't pan out. It has a little black metal tag hanging off it, 'PIXEL' engraved upon it. I wear it fairly regularly, and think nothing of it.
Right now I am thinking of nothing but it. A half inch wide strip of black leather and a few chrome hardware bits. One finger, and a microscopic amount of pressure.
