Houses of Pain and Love
Four novels about being a submissive man to dominant women
Book Two: Cathy's House
by Doberinca
and
Henry Daniels
Chapter 1
When Rob woke in the morning, Helena was in a chair at his bedside. "Good morning, sleepy head. I hope you slept well. The pills Kim gave you really knocked you out, it's nearly ten."
Rob sat up, trying to put his feet on the floor. He felt lightheaded, he would have fallen had Helena not reached over to steady him. "Kim told me this could happen. You must eat and drink something, then you'll feel better."
She helped him drink a large glass of water then guided him back down onto his pillows. "I'll get something for you, just sit and relax."
Almost as soon as Helena was gone, Marion came in, also looking worried. She sat on his bedside and took his hand. "How do you feel?"
"My head is in a fog."
"You had a heavy dose of sleeping pills. You gave us a good scare us last night. I'd never seen something like it, but Kim recognized your state. She went home last night."
Helena came back into the room, carrying a tray with eggs for Rob, toast and coffee for all. "All we wanted when Kim shouted was you to follow us. It worked, all too well. Anyway, she was very upset, saying she hadn't wanted this to happen.
"She's proven she's a good doctor. She took complete charge and set everything right. She didn't get upset until after you were safely in bed. I've been underestimating her."
Marion took up the story. "Once we had you settled, Rob, we discussed what really happened. It seemed to us, you had all kinds of thoughts of what we might be doing to Kim, you were upset. It might have been anger, maybe fear, it makes no difference. When you saw nothing was going on, whatever emotion you were feeling left, the pendulum swung from high to low and you fainted."
Helena took her turn. "Rob, we all three came to one conclusion last night. You have to work this out with a neutral person. Marion and I thought of the same person, although we know her for different reasons. I called her this morning and arranged an appointment." She glanced at her watch. "It's an hour from now. So finish your breakfast, you should be feeling a bit better now. We must leave in about twenty minutes."
The women talked to each other while Rob was in the shower.
"What did she say, Helena, when you mentioned my name?"
"She asked in which capacity her help was required. I said I wasn't sure, maybe both. Then she said to bring clothing for him, she thought staying with her for a few days might be useful. I packed for him whilst he was still asleep, it's already in the car. But I won't say anything to Rob unless Cathy suggests he should stay."
Marion nodded. "Good. Call me, please, when you know how it will go. I'll call Kim, give her an update, as soon as you and Rob are in the car."
It was twenty or thirty minutes' driving on country roads. Rob wasn't at all sure where they were when they arrived at an ordinary looking family house in the ordinary looking town of Winslow. The house stood at the edge of a small park where children were playing, with more houses off to the right.
A discrete sign beside the front door read "C. Mahan, Psychiatry." Helena rang at the front door and a handsome woman of around 35 or 40 years opened the door. She greeted Helena and Rob quite professionally. "Hello, come in, I'm Doctor Catherine Mahan, but please call me Cathy."
The Doctor was a slender woman, with long legs and a good figure. She wore a plain blouse and a wool skirt with flat shoes. Rob observed nothing covered her legs. She wore her blonde hair simply, falling straight to her shoulders, pulled back behind her ears. The lines around her mouth suggested to Rob she smiled freely.
Helena and Rob followed her into the house. It was a typical private doctor's waiting room, certificates and a photo of the doctor at her University graduation on the wall. Cathy took them to her practice room, it looked like a normal living room; except for a long bench next to her desk. Instead of sitting at her desk Cathy invited them to sit in a grouping of comfortable chairs. The only evidence this wasn't a social call was the notebook she picked up from her desk after she had shown them where to sit.
Helena described the events of the previous night, Cathy taking notes. Cathy asked Rob what he felt, what had him upset. She asked if he thought it was anger or fear; Rob wasn't sure. Finally she asked both of them questions about their relationship. Rob didn't mention his cross dressing, he didn't think it relevant. The fainting had no connection to his interests, more with the anger he felt regularly. It didn't seem as much time, but they talked for an hour.
"Helena, next I must speak with Rob privately." When Helena began to rise from her seat, Cathy stopped her. "No, you'll stay here, please, we'll come back to you in a bit. Rob and I will step outside for a short walk. It will be relaxing, the air will help keep our emotions cool. Please find a book or magazine from the waiting room and we'll return in about half an hour."
They walked a short distance through the warm, May afternoon before Cathy opened the conversation by asking Rob what he had heard about her. "Nothing, really. Both Helena and Marion know you, each, they said, for different reasons. Marion told me she's had counseling, perhaps she knows you from that. And Helena." He shrugged. "Helena knows many people, for many reasons."
"I'm sure she does," Cathy answered dryly. "Rob, while I'm a psychiatrist, Marion is not a patient. I'm also familiar with the scene, if you know what I mean."
Rob was not clear on what she was talking about.
"Okay, I'll return to that later. First, my analysis of your problem; you had a marriage of almost twenty years. On a bad weekend it all came out, the way your wife treated you, your behavior based on what you sensed what might happen. You met Helena, you didn't know her at all, but what she said fit your own intuition. Together with the pain, humiliation and the sorrow Marion brought to you, perhaps it was enough to traumatize you.
"Now, Rob, this is important: it was Jenny who betrayed your marriage, not Marion. Marion told you this, she was upset about losing your love, she'd had to tip-toe around you all weekend trying to make it work as planned, but in vain. It's true she didn't handle it well at the end. Later your friends tried to help you. In some ways they achieved their goal, but Helena said it correctly: you still have ghosts to deal with."
Rob just looked at her, saying nothing so Cathy continued. "I have a proposition for you. But first we must see if you can trust me. You don't know me, I don't know you. Can you agree that's a good reason you have nothing to fear from me?"
Rob almost agreed, just to go along, but stopped himself and said something quite honest. "Lately, when people start talking about trust, my first impulse is to run away as quickly as possible."
"Rob, don't you think you've named the problem? You're unwilling to trust, because the trust you had for twenty years was betrayed. The moment you had saw the truth of Jenny, you needed professional help. Luckily you have a superb partner in Helena, the best you can imagine. It seems to me she's already done a great deal toward your healing. But, as she said, you have some ghosts to deal with. We can do it by long talks, trying to convince you that the unhappy events have nothing to do with one another. Talking will take a year, perhaps more. There is an option to do it in a shorter period: two days probably; today and tomorrow.
"We can discuss the plan together with Helena. I already asked Helena to bring some clothing with her for both of you to stay overnight. I've made up the spare bedroom for you. I live alone; the only people in the house here will be the three of us."
Rob still look dumbfounded. "I'm sorry, but I still haven't the slightest idea what you want to do in two days."
"Rob, I propose bring you to your highest senses and thereafter release. This is why I asked for Helena's help. Tomorrow we repeat, again with the help of Helena. Haven't you guessed already? Beside a psychiatrist, I'm also a dominatrix."
Rob grunted. "I should listen to my own words, the moment you started in on trust I should have run."
"Rob, a few words before you run." She gave him a wink. "You connect S&M, everything about it, with your one bad experience. Thanks to to Jenny, for you S&M means betrayal, mistrust, sorrow, humiliation and pain. I want to scrap mistrust, betrayal and sorrow, they aren't part of BDSM, done properly. In their place you will experience ecstasy, pleasure, excitement -- and trust. So, I'm proposing to do two sessions with you. After those two you will add trust to the positive things of S&M. Once you've made progress, your issues resolved, you have Helena and Marion to take you further on your journey."
Rob didn't agree. "You're missing something. Yes, Jenny betrayed our marriage, I understand the tangle all too well. But you must understand, it was Marion who taught me not to trust a domina. She set up the game then got upset when it didn't play out the way she intended. Not that she made her intentions plain to me! She added things to her game far beyond what I had consented to, she failed to prevent Jenny from her foolishness then, oh, then the unfiltered anger in her eyes when she took out the whip and gave me bloody stripes, ignoring my safe-word."
"It sounds as though, Helena, Marion and others are forming your own little family? There must be trust already, if you're all so close. You can delete mistrust from your dictionary." Cathy tried to decode Rob's facial expression; it wasn't clear if he really understood what she meant.
Rob hesitated, deciding how to capture what he was thinking. "I do trust them in day to day life. I do not trust Marion in particular to engage in safe and consensual BDSM because my experience with her has been unsafe and without my consent. Both Marion and Helena speak to me, outside of playing, about punishing me in a session for what I've just said or done. These things keep being said and each time I tell them their words make it more difficult to trust enough to start a game. When they give me reasons to mistrust, when they ignore the clear feedback I give them, how is trust my responsibility?"
"I've given you no reason to mistrust me. Are you willing to trust me, try out this form of therapy?"
"I..." Rob hesitated, then stuttered out an answer. "I guess so."
