Oakcrest Estates! Lakeside Division of Bartlett, Alabama.
The roads leading around Lake Kironos had been repaved in the last year offering a smooth ride. In scanning about at the pristine scenery Garrison Dhorne recalled the beauty of this the oldest area of Bartlett. The town itself was named after pioneer Edgar Bartlett. The extension of Bartlett's claim adjoined its border and was renamed Oakcrest by the other founding fathers back in the dawn of the 1700's. 1708 in Edgar and company's case to be precise. 1702 was the first ever true settlement in Alabama until folks spread out.
Not much was known about the first settler's other than names and money, but their descendants flourished and occupied the area with pride. The Lake Kironos itself was built over coal deposits in the early 1900's when said descendants of the founding families decided that enough was enough. They didn't want their town destroyed any further than it had already been. Garrison Dhorne recalled its forbidden history, one that had escaped generations on purpose, a secret very few survivors knew about. One that deserved to stay buried. He would respect the dead.
Winding around the coil of backroads through a thick wooded area Dhorne came up to a driveway barricaded by an iron gate complete with cameras and intercom system. Leaning out his truck window he pressed a keypad informing the current residents of his arrival. Truck idling, he awaited a response, glancing about to spot his own home through the mass of trees in the distance. A home he shared years ago with his late wife Nora and his infant son Connor. The estate had sat empty for the last few years while he had served his country in ways very few people even knew about. Classified and unheard of by even those who took part. Zip it!
"Who is it?" Barked a gruff feminine voice which to those who didnt know better might assume was a man.
Dhorne smiled, it had been ages since rubbing this broad raw on purpose, "That you, Ms. Trinity?" A long pause before answering he knew meant the cranky old housekeeper needed to put her glasses on first to view the surveillance monitor. She returned with a grouchy sigh, "Look what the cat refused to drag in. If you're looking for table scraps, try Leftovers in town. I hear they sell to big cheese like you. Moldy at that, and don't you dare say that about me."
Dhorne lifted his sunglasses and winked into the camera. "Now, now, Ms. Maguire! Is that any way to treat the prodigal son-in law? Bab's is gonna have you suckin' suds for treating me all vagabond."
She cackled over her employer trying to do that. Barbara LeGend didn't know how to clean house let alone attempt opening a Palmolive bottle. "Rich Witch might break a nail. What's the password?"
Dhorne rubbed his goatee in thought before replying, "ASSWIPE?"
The intercom erupted with a gravel sounding laughter, "And who's the ASSWIPE?"
Dhorne shook his head replacing his glasses over his weary brown eyes. "That would be my boy. Diaper days are over, Ms. Trin."
Another round of mischievous cackles led to Trinity opening the gates with a buzz. "We shall see my, Baby."
As Oz shared a cheesy grin toward the monitor, he stepped on the gas pedal. Just out of sight of the camera he grimaced with a shiver, "Now that there just put stains in my Hanes." He had to laugh at the ole girl, she was almost as tough as he was. If not meaner! Steering along the asphalt drive, the foliage beside it abandoned his obstructed view of the massive Victorian home belonging to his late wife's parents Augustus and Barbara LeGend.
Again, Garrison O reflected back to better days. Back when he and Nora first got together eighteen years ago. Many of these trees and flowers he had helped plant. Even in the late summer the flowers were in full bloom. With a single teary eye he knew Nora was tending her garden. That or the pollen count was high.
Puckered up Oz blew kisses in all four directions, "Get on outta that flower bed and welcome yer MASTER home Nora Jean. And bring those rosy cheeks a wigglin'." With a memorable sigh of her rushing at him as she always had he restrained his emotions. "Not gonna cry! It's unbecomin' of a warrior." Definitely the pollen count! Finally reaching a circle drive he pulled his Dodge Ram up behind a Mercedes Benz freshly coated in wax. Shutting his ignition off he settled back in his seat staring ahead before a lengthy exhale. "I can do this. Just goose me along Nora Jean. I promise I won't tie ya up and flog ya for any sneak attract. Even though I know you'd beg for that knowin' it would make me love ya that much more."
His moment of intimate concentration was quickly distilled when he heard the front door of the mansion open. "Garrison! Welcome home!"
Stepping down from his truck he shut the door to meet a stunning woman in her mid-sixties. Dressed in a jogging suit of ivory and pale yellow the thin beauty raced into his arms to reclaim a long overdue hug. Snugly, cuddly, she held on for dear life, weeping over his presence. It had been far too long.
"Good to see ya, Babs. Still the sexiest senior citizen in Bartlett I see. Has ole Gus dropped over yet, so I can tease his crumpet without a fisticuff?"
"It's good to see you." She brightly exhaled, "And no! Augustus is still kicking. Darn him! He's down on the dock practicing his yoga."
Dhorne couldn't resist a chuckle. "He still doin' that? Maybe Yogi will kick too high and give himself a booboo."
"That was beary funny, Garrison." Two could be goofy around here!
"Not many fellas like me out there. Being ME's no picnic. Just ask the Ranger, I stuffed him upside down in a trash barrel and wrote Bon Appetit on his ass. Charmin fella that I am." Charming even!" That was enough yuks to encourage Babs into releasing him. Jabbing him in the ribs finding a ticklish spot she scolded him for being a cad.
"Careful now! Grandma the Wolf just dropped by." She poked him again with a stern expression.
"Yer gonna break another nail before it goes in yer coffin." Trinity was probably right! For that, she doubled up a fist and literally slugged him in the lower stomach knocking the wind out of him. She might not know how to clean house, but she knew how to clean a clock. Third degree Black Belt. She was tougher than she appeared. "Keep it up I won't have nuff oxygen to give you CPR."
Another jab made him wheez. "Dammit, Babs! I never should have taught you self-defense. Bad nuff I pulled a muscle in my back. Now you've gone and tickled my fancy."
In a sweep of his positioning, he twirled Barbara around and pulled the elderly woman into him, digging his fingers all around her rib cage forcing laughter. "Garrison STOP this instant. Before I wet myself."
"Whistle for the cacklin' hen." He grinned from ear to ear, "Trinity can float yer booty, I'm sure she can loan ya some Depends." She stopped laughing and stomped the ball of her foot on his boot toe. Steel toed! Sorry Momma! Nice try!
"Damn Babs! You sure ain't lost yer spunk."
He released his mother-in-law at the exact same moment a gravel coated banshee erupted behind them. "Get your mitts off the Mistress before I part your hair with a frying pan. Bandana or not! It can soak up the blue blood." Both Dhorne and Babs turned in unison to see the grumpiest maid in a Tri-State area.
"There's my butt ugly, Primadonna. I knew the ole pack mule would come home for the carrot juicer."
Babs slapped her son-in-law's arm for being rude. "Be nice Garrison! She's ready to retire in three months." A Thank God mouthed in silence had him in stitches. Come on people. Maguire was talking retirement ten years ago and she was still limping along. At 86 she was a fixture that for all of her annoying traits was as tough as they came. In Dhorne's case he'd rather fight a mountain lion, trusting that fact knowing he actually had on a rescue mission up in the Yukon. Snagglepuss there was a biter even with dentures.
"No shit! It's about time you game show junkies played Nudgin' the Curmudgeon." Dhorne raises an eyebrow as if buying the retirement party. "Hey MaJaguar, if ya need references for the retirement home I'll have my buddy the Crypt Keeper put in a good word for ya." She did have quite a few liver spots.