Sitting in the yard in front of her single-wide, smack dab in the middle of General John B. Hood Memorial Trailer Park in Austin Texas, Sally Morgan was preparing to have a thoroughly enjoyable morning alone. Having just sat down in her rickety lawn chair and popping open a cold forty ounce she was sure the next few hours were going to be pure bliss. With a romance novel in her lap and a cold one at her side, she was wearing the skimpiest bikini she dared wear to even out her tan. Her whole morning was planned out perfectly as she planned to polish off a few and catch some rays before having to report to her dreaded afternoon shift at WalMart. The sky had been clear as a bell that day and the hellishly hot weather that is so common to Central Texas had not yet taken hold so it was the perfect conditions for drinking and sunning. Hearing the squealing tires of her neighbor Jim Bob Jones's truck come barreling into the trailer park, she looked up from her Harlequin Romance Novel and sighed. Glancing down at her bikini, she knew she would have to go back inside now; her plans for catching some sun this morning now laying in ruins.
She and Jim Bob had been neighbors for years at the trailer park. Despite his being a complete dick and possibly the world's most insufferable asshole, she did always enjoyed seeing him, albeit best from afar. She especially enjoyed catching a glimpse of him when he was dressed in his tight T-shirt and was just returning all sweaty from work. Physically, Jim Bob checked every box on her erotic menu; handsome, check, good body, double check, bad boy mystique, triple check. But, as her Grandma used to say, what the Lord giveth with one hand, he taketh with the other. If he had just been a mute, she would have fucked him ten ways from Sunday already, but sadly, his vocal chords worked just fine.
Every time he caught sight of her, he never ceased to make some lewd comment about her appearance, or some incredibly vile over the top request for sex. She was not alone in his abuse and Sally and the other ladies of the trailer park had all grown quite tired of the "Jim Bob" treatment since he had moved in. Prior to his arrival, they all had used to enjoy sunbathing together in the common backyard their trailers butted up against. After his arrival in the park, however, that was no longer possible. The hooting and catcalling and constant stream of rude and disgusting commentary was irritating and infuriating enough to drive them all away from their solar sanctuary. Still, despite all of his shortcomings, she and all of the other ladies of John Bell Hood Memorial Trailer Park had to admit that he could fill out a pair of jeans better than any man they had ever known. If only he would shut the fuck up, he would be perfect.
Now standing up to gather her things to go inside, as she glanced over at the parking lot she saw a flash of bare flesh and had to do a double-take. Looking closer now, she gasped and started uncontrollably giggling. Jim Bob Jones was timidly getting out of his truck, stark naked! Looking around suspiciously, suddenly he started running as if he were being chased by an angry rabid grizzly bear. Sally could not believe the sight before her eyes and she howled with laughter as she watched his cute dimpled naked ass and flopping large package bounce and jiggle as he raced by. Glancing up at his face, she saw a look of total terror in his eyes that temporarily caused her to recoil. Her fear quickly was subsumed as the hilarious and erotic view of her deliciously naked and quite handsome neighbor forced her to resume gawking. Unable to resist the opportunity of finally giving him a taste of his own medicine, she had to scream out her own rude commentary.
"God Damn it Boy! You got an impressive package on you..., and all nice and shaved too! Who knew?" Continuing to scream as she laughed at the blushing redneck blurring past her she added "If I had known you were so hung Jim Bob, I would fucked you years ago."
Jim Bob said nothing in reply, his sole focus now on getting home as quickly as possible. His face was as red as his torn up and bleeding feet and being seen nude and erect by his gorgeous neighbor was just the last of a whole host of humiliations he had suffered over the prior hour. His mind still could not quite understand what had happened back at his job site, the image of that strange, gorgeous woman with the set of wings growing out of her back still burning in his mind. At the moment, however, he did not have time to pause and reflect. Now he only wanted to get home, and looking back over his shoulder he was relieved that it appeared he had lost the horde of disembodied gloves that had been chasing him for the past hour. Seeing his trailer so near, he closed his eyes and prayed that the key he had hidden under the rock in the backyard was still there. He had been lucky that his spare key to the truck was still in the wheel well so perhaps his luck would continue to hold out.
Cupping his pink and freshly shaved balls, he hid his manhood as best he could while he crept beside his trailer and lifted up the fake rock. Sighing in relief, he looked down and saw the key was right where he had left it. Picking it up in his hand he grinned before his face dropped at the sound of Sally's voice.
"So Nature Boy!" she called out as she watched him stand there with his dick swinging as he clasped the key. "Decided on going starkers today? I must say, you have the build for it!" Seeing him blush and for once have nothing to say, she could not help but revel in the glory of the moment. Finally, the shoe was on the other foot, and watching his embarrassment and vain attempts to hide his nudity from her gaze made her lady parts tingle.
Blushing, Jim Bob spun around to hide his bare ass from her view. With his hands pressed firmly against his junk, he bumped the door to his trailer open and stumbled into his home through the newly unlocked door. Tripping as he backed up inside, he fell over and collapsed onto the floor of his kitchen. Now prone on the ground, he gasped and coughed as he desperately tried to catch his breath. With his head spinning and laying face up on the linoleum, he continued gripping his chest through labored and heavy breathing. It had been the most exhausting and terrifying hour of his whole life. His heart and mind were both racing as he reviewed how he came to be nude, shaved and erect on his kitchen floor in the middle of a workday.
Dropping his head to the side while still laying on the floor he spied the empty tequila bottle he had finished off the night before right where he had dropped it. Smiling, as a possible answer to this sudden explosion of weirdness formed in his mind, he laughed. "God Damn! I must have accidently swallowed that worm when I finished that fucker off. That has to be the fucking explanation to all of this! It just has to be! Either that or I have just gone plum loco."
Sitting up as his heart slowed down for the first time in an hour, he looked at his nude body and winced. He was covered in scratches and scrapes, the desperate naked dash from downtown Austin having wreaked complete havoc on his bare flesh. Dodging and weaving behind trash cans and dumpsters to get to the relative privacy of his truck, it had been a hellish run to make it out of the city without getting arrested. His face continued to grow red as he thought back on all of the women he had accidentally flashed during his marathon streak, ending with his exposure to his gorgeous neighbor.
He knew he had been lucky though as it was still early and his humiliation was witnessed by only a few early morning joggers and first shift employees reporting for work. Once he had gotten into his truck, things had gotten a bit easier, but he could kick himself for parking so far away. Yet another price he paid for being such a cheap ass and not wanting to pay for parking downtown. From the looks of the cactus quills sticking out of his stomach, and the scratches all over his chest and legs, he had taken quite a few tumbles in the mad dash to protect his modesty. Now that his breathing had fully returned to normal, and his heart no longer felt like it was going to explode, his eyes grew wide as the full memory of his ordeal sunk in. Picking up the empty bottle, he tossed it across the room and growled.
"No more Tequila..., EVER!" His brain flooded with the full image of being stripped naked by the disembodied gloves and then shaved and chased, he was convinced that this all had to be a drunken nightmare. This shit just doesn't happen in real life! Looking down at his cock, harder than it ever had been in his life, Jim Bob cupped his freshly shaved balls and grimaced. "Well, that sure ain't no dream!" Scratching his head he yelled out "What the fuck happened to me?"
Standing up, he gripped his temples and walked over to the sink to splash water on his face. He was so horny, the continuous images of the beautiful, otherworldly creature flashing over and over in his mind in a loop. Smacking his own face hard, he screamed again "Wake the fuck up! This is just a bad dream! Wake up Jim Bob, WAKE THE FUCK UP!" Closing his eyes tightly for a solid minute, when he opened them again and saw that he was still nude and erect in his kitchen, he shook his head. Seeing another empty Tequila bottle on the counter, he groaned.
"Ok Jim Boy, you have got to get your shit together. Keep on drinking like this and you are going to get your ass fired!" Frowning he added "God Damn I have done some crazy shit when I was drunk before, but this has to take the cake!" Feeling his stomach drop as he thought about how he was going to explain his nude streak in the middle of the day to his boss, he gripped the side of the sink and felt sick. Looking down at his throbbing dick staring back up at him, he grabbed the shaft and began to stroke. "First things first, I have got to pop one off. Maybe with one good spurt and I can clear my head and turn this obvious nightmare into a wet dream."
Working up a good pace as he jacked himself off in the kitchen, suddenly he heard a loud knock on the trailer door. "Just a minute!" he yelled as he growled in frustration. Hard as ever, he ran into the bathroom and pulled a towel off the rack to wrap around himself. Trying to cover his woody as best he could he padded back into the kitchen to answer the door. His erection was hardly hidden by the red terrycloth wrap, but at least it gave him a little modesty. The pounding had continued throughout and gotten louder by the second. Coming into the kitchen, Jim Bob yelled out, "Hold your fucking horses man, I am coming!"