Don't. Don't. Don't.
I repeated this mantra to myself lying in bed that night, in an attempt to convince myself that I absolutely shouldn't touch my pussy, no matter how badly I wanted to. But oh god, did I
ever
want to. I'd known it would be difficult to restrain myself, but it was turning out to feel almost impossible. And it was only the first night.
Barring some sort of unusual circumstances, getting myself off was just part of my normal nightly routine. I had what I'd gathered by now was an extraordinarily high sex drive, and one orgasm a day felt like the
minimum
I needed to keep myself sane.
That would have already made it difficult to miss a chance today, but on this particular day it was much worse than that, simply because I couldn't get my afternoon rendezvous with Professor Fitzgerald out of my head. It was easily the best sexual experience I'd ever had, and I'd been repeating it in all its glorious detail ever since I'd left his office. And the more I thought about it, the more desperate I got to reach my hand between my legs and frantically rub.
I knew I could always do it and just lie-after all, it's not like Professor Fitzgerald was there in my room watching what I did. But just the thought of lying to him made me feel guilty. I kept thinking about what he'd said about how much authority he had over me and how lucky I was that he was willing to take me. It really did feel true, and that made me feel like I had an obligation to obey him.
And then there was just the idea that this was a challenge and I wanted to see if I could successfully complete it. The fact that it was so difficult made me determined to prove, both to him and to myself, that I was capable.
Still, I sure as hell wished there were something I could do to make it not
quite
so difficult. But I had no ideas whatsoever. Did the cold shower thing really work? Just attempting to distract myself certainly wasn't. Finally I fell asleep and didn't have to worry about it anymore.
The next day I had a morning class, so I was out the door shortly after I got up. I wasn't sure if I'd even be able to concentrate with how horny I was, but somehow I did, and it actually provided a welcome distraction.
Trying to do my assigned reading when I got back to my room, however, was a different story. My thoughts kept drifting away to sex, sex, sex. What if I couldn't even do my work? What if I failed my classes? He definitely wouldn't want
that,
would he? Would he buy just needing my concentration back as a valid excuse for fingering myself?
I had an idea for something that might help and put my book away to try it out. He'd just said I couldn't touch my
pussy,
hadn't he? He'd made no mention of
other
parts of myself. Maybe if I provided myself with some stimulation elsewhere it would provide enough of a relief that I could do my work.
I took my shirt and bra off and laid down on my bed, and then closed my eyes and started gently stroking my tits.
Fuck
did it feel good. It felt even better than when I did it normally, probably because I was so desperate that
anything
that felt good was welcome.
I started thinking about Professor Fitzgerald and how it had felt to be taken on his desk, whimpering slightly at the memory. He'd put his hands on my tits then, hadn't he, but he hadn't been gentle, no, he hadn't at all.
I started squeezing myself very hard, and then I dug my nails in, moaning. Yes, that was much,
much
better.
It's so obvious that all you want to do is submit to me, so it only follows that suffering for me would be part of what you want.
He'd been absolutely right when he'd told me that. That's what I felt like I was doing right now-submitting to him, suffering for him. Even though he wasn't here, I could only think of how much it had pleased him when he'd been hurting me, and how sexy it was to imagine that he was the one doing it again right now.
I kept doing it for several more minutes, only stopping when the pain was starting to get overwhelming. Then I went back to my book, and found, to my relief, that the combination of pleasure and pain had calmed me down enough that I was able to study.