Name Your Pleasure

My name is Cheryl and this is the story of the most terrifying and exciting night of my life. I know that sounds like an exaggeration, but it is absolutely true. I learned a great deal about myself that night. It helped me to recognize those parts of me that strongly influence (control?) my actions. I came to better understand my Sexual Self that drives my sexual desire. I also discovered my nagging Fearful Self, which perceives risk everywhere and tries to avoid any risk-taking. I also experienced what I call my Adventurous Self -- the part that DOES seek risky adventures. Those three aspects of my being were all energized by the unique events that night. The combination of their influences drove my behavior that night, and enabled me to survive it.

It started with my good friend Marsha. We'd been good friends for 8 years, starting as roommates freshman year at UC Boulder. We had covered for each other, been love counselors, career counselors and plain old drinking buddies. Neither of us had married or had a long term relationship, so we had continued as BFFs. She was always a little more adventurous than I and had the experiences, both good and bad, that go with adventures. I was more cautious, and therefore, sometimes envious of her life.

We both now have real jobs with real career opportunities. She lives about 60 miles away in Denver Colorado and works for an adventure travel company. She develops tours around the world and often leads their customers on those tours. She thinks nothing of flying to Kathmandu and arranging for accommodations, food, guides and transportation for a group of 50.

I live in Colorado Springs and I am a project director in the Cyberspace Research Center at the Air Force Academy. My work is comprised of writing, reviewing and critiquing proposed research projects -- decidedly unadventurous.

Marsha and I have always been very frank in our discussions of sex, sexuality and men. We've both enjoyed sex with different men when we were in serious relationships. But, we don't go in for one night stands just to get laid. I've had three serious relationships that included sex, but they fizzled after a few months when we got to know each other better. I really enjoyed the sex, and wanted more, but there has to be something there besides the sex. Given those conditions, we are both very familiar with the operation and pleasures of vibrators.

But, as I said, Marsha is more of a risk taker and has experimented with more unusual sex practices than I have. That's what led to my special night. A few weeks ago, when she came over for our regular Monday evening dinner and a movie, she was as excited as I've ever seen her. When she walked in the door, her nervous energy made the room vibrate. Her grin told me that she had a great story to tell me.

I sat her down with a glass of wine and just waited for her to begin. I didn't need to ask what had happened. She couldn't wait to tell me everything.

"Cheryl, I had the greatest sexual experience of my life last Friday night! I'm still shaking from the excitement - and certain parts of my body still need some time to recover."

"Oh no Marsha, you didn't go all slutty and jump some guy in a bar did you?"

"No, no. This wasn't slutty. This was very professional"

"Oh, so now you're a hooker?"

No, I wasn't the professional. I paid for and enjoyed a wonderful sexual experience from a fantastic organization. They were the professionals."

"Uh, so, you hired an escort service and they provided a guy for you? Geez, I know we're both horny and not getting much action, but buying an escort seems pretty desperate. Was he at least good looking?"

"Yes,

all three

were quite good looking."

"Oh God. What have you done?"

"Welllllll, I've discovered a new type of escort service that goes way beyond anything you've ever heard of. It's very professional and designed to give you exactly the kind of experience that you long for. There's actually a national chain of these places and they recently opened a facility for the Denver market just up the road from here, near Castle Rock. I think they must use small towns to avoid the legal hassles in a city. Their process is to provide a safe and very extensive set of services, customized for each customer. They can give you almost anything you want, no matter how kinky. It's the perfect combination of security while still delivering the edgy thrill of a new sexual encounter. You've got to try it Cheryl."

"I don't think I'm that desperate Marsha. I've never really been into 'kinky' anyway. How can you take a chance like that? You go off to a place in a remote small town, not knowing anybody there, and take whatever "services" they offer? Jesus, you're lucky you're still alive and not maimed."

"OK, let me explain a little more before you completely freak out. I heard about this organization from a woman in our LA office. They have facilities in at least 30 cities in the US and Canada. They operate very discreetly and professionally. They only accept new customers that have been referred by a previous customer. Then you must fill out an extensive questionnaire on their website. They ask a LOT of questions about your taste in sexual activities. What you like to do. What you don't want to do. Just filling in the questionnaire was arousing."

"Sounds like another dating app." I remarked.

"No, not at all. They are selling high-end sexual services to discriminating customers. Hell, the basic service starts at $1,200 and goes up from there. I told them what kind of pleasures I wanted and they delivered -- exactly as I ordered, plus some great extra surprises. You can request any kinks you want and they have the equipment and staff to fulfill your wildest fantasy. Remember that time in school when I really wanted a threesome with those two guys? I didn't get it then, but I had a fantastic foursome last Friday. The whole evening was thrilling and I came away completely satisfied -- in all respects. You really need to experience this Cheryl."

"Hey," I replied, "I'm happy you had a great fuck and I'm even happier that you came out alive. But you know that I'm not the adventurer you are. I enjoy sex and would like to get a lot more of it, but taking a risk like that -- and paying money for it -- that's way outside my comfort zone."

"I know it is Cheryl, but sometimes you can only discover how vast and exciting the real world is when you leave your comfort zone and take a risk. Remember the time I got you to try skydiving - and you just loved it! I won't push you, but do think about it. Carpe diem and all that."

We discussed other things over dinner and then watched a movie that Marsha had brought with her. It was a typical action movie where the lead female character is captured by the bad guy and eventually saved by the handsome, sexy good guy. But, in the middle of the movie, the fair maiden is tied down on a bed with hands and feet restrained with ropes to the corners of the bed. Of course, she's only wearing a flimsy nightgown so she is at the mercy of the bad guy, who wants only one thing...

I hate that movie producers use common, dehumanizing plots like that, but I must admit that they do get my Sexual Self warmed up. But I was stunned when I heard a moan from Marsha and looked over to see her with her hand in her pants, rubbing herself frantically. She whimpered as she came and then slumped back down in the couch. Eventually, she noticed me looking at her and my confused expression.

"Oh Cheryl, you wouldn't be so disapproving if you understood how erotic bondage can be. That little buzz you get from watching a scene like that is nothing compared to the paralyzing excitement and overwhelming arousal of the real thing. We both agree that the brain is the most important sex organ, and things like fear and anticipation can really enhance your arousal. It can't be explained by anyone, it can only be experienced -- by yourself. After last Friday, I finally understand it. My life, and particularly my sex life, will never be the same."

I mumbled something about being glad she was happy, while still trying to grasp what she had said. We didn't discuss it anymore and Marsha left when the movie was over. For the next few days I found my thoughts often turning to that movie scene and Marsha's reaction to it. Clearly, she loved the excitement it generated and she knew how to utilize that energy to please herself. My Adventurous Self asked, 'Am I missing some excitement in my life?' Marsha has an active libido and was more adventurous than I, but she wasn't some perverted sex fiend. Somehow, her experience with the 'service' had greatly increased her happiness.

When we got together again at her house the next Monday, she again started telling me about a few aspects of the 'service'. She wouldn't give me many details, but made it clear that she had requested some services that she was familiar with, and also expressed an interest in perhaps trying new adventures. Based on her responses to their questionnaire, they had eased her into some new situations, always to be limited by a safe word she had been given. But, she said she had not needed the safe word. Parts were a sometimes scary, but quickly turned from fear of pain into deeply felt pleasure.

"Pain?" I asked.

Marsha smiled a knowing smile and tried to explain how pain, applied in moderation at the right time, served to amplify sexual arousal and then carried her orgasm to never before imagined heights. I wasn't quite ready to accept that concept, but my curiosity was tweaked and my Sexual Self was considering it. After trying to answer some of my questions, she suggested that we open her profile on the service and I could see exactly how this worked.

She opened their site, which was a blank screen with only their company name 'Name Your Pleasure' and a prompt for user number and password. Surprisingly, for a close friend of eight years, she asked me to look away while she entered her credentials. She explained that the company's tight security was needed to conceal both the company's and the customer's identities. Their business could be considered prostitution in many places, so they kept a very low profile.

On her profile page, the only identification was her user name of "Tonia'. The company had only that name to identify her. No phone, no email, no address. She had the option of using her own credit card for the payments or paying with cryptocurrency. They clearly take privacy very seriously.

Then she took me into the various pages with questions about her and her preferences. One page just did basic categories. She was cis-female, single and wanted sex with only men. There were plenty of other options available. There were long pages with questions that got more and more detailed based on the responses to the previous questions. To ensure they were clear, many questions were accompanied by photos or diagrams of relevant body parts. The three main options for most questions were:

'Yes, I want to do that'

'I might be willing to try that'

'No, I don't want to do that'.

The questions included:

Would you like to strip naked in front of others?

Would you like to be displayed naked in front of others?

Would you like to be wrapped in only a set of ropes or leather straps? (Shibari)

Would you like to be vaginally penetrated with a penis? With fingers? With a dildo? With other mechanical devices?

Would you like to be anally penetrated with a penis? With fingers? With a dildo? With other mechanical devices?

Would you like to be orally penetrated with a penis? With fingers? With a dildo? With other mechanical devices?

Would you like your vulva to be stimulated by: a man's fingers? a man's tongue? a vibrator?

Would you like to be penetrated by multiple men simultaneously?

Would you like to be bound tightly, and helpless?

Would you like to be blindfolded?

Would you like to be gagged?

Would you like to be threatened with harm?

Would you like to be humiliated?

Would you like to play a role as a Dom or Sub?

Would you like to receive pain from: Spanking? Leather straps? Canes? Nipple clamps? Labia clamps?

Would you like to receive pain on: Buttocks? Breasts? Vulva? Back? Neck? Face?

That was about all I could take. My Sexual Self's eyes were wide open, but I shut her down. Now I understood what Marsha meant by 'detailed' interview. This excruciating list of actions, devices and conditions seemed to define very precisely what a customer wanted or didn't want. The extent of it frightened me -- I had never considered some of the items. But it also reassured me -- they were being very careful to assess the customer's needs and desires. It also surprised me -- Marsha's recorded responses to the questions revealed some new aspects of her to me.

"See?" said Marsha, "They go to all this trouble so your needs are clearly defined for them and also for yourself. Based on your responses they create a custom script of the activities for your session. It's both safe and exciting and very satisfying. Don't you want to sign up?"

I deferred my answer so I could ponder the opportunity. It was certainly an exciting offering. I had begun to get wet just reading the questions -- both the 'normal' ones and the 'kinky' ones. My Adventurous Self thought actually doing all that in one evening would be amazing. But, as my Fearful Self pointed out, giving my body over to strangers to control and fuck me for some hours was deeply frightening. Bound? Gagged? Spanked?

I told Marsha I would consider it and went home. I struggled to concentrate on my work that week. Friends in the office were confused when they found lots of careless errors in my reports. I went online to research the terms I had learned in the questions. It opened a new world to me. I had been aware of various types of kinky sex, but never really understood them until now. My own sex life had been active (though not recently) and diversified. Of course, diversified for me was giving a quick blow job and then doing it doggie style. One boyfriend had tried to take me anally and it had been an embarrassing fiasco for both of us.

After reading all about BDSM and other 'oddities', I worked up the courage to visit a sex shop in Denver. It took over an hour to drive there, but I wanted to be sure that none of my friends or neighbors would see me there. I tried to appear nonchalant and experienced, but I'm sure the shop girl could tell. I inspected cuffs and dildos and whips and costumes and - butt plugs?! I was fascinated by the variety of vibrators for women. Most were designed with modern technology, including remote control. They all seemed far superior to my old trusty friend back home, so I bought one -- for research purposes.

By the time Marsha showed up at my door the following Monday, My Adventurous Self and my Sexual Self had joined forces and won the war - I agreed to try it. Marsha squealed with delight. After we ate, I booted my laptop and she logged into the site. On the first page past login there was a button for making referrals. She went there and entered basic info for their system. She was recommending a friend, we had known each other eight years, and she would personally vouch for my honesty and integrity. They warned her that if I turned out to be a problem, her own access to the site might be cancelled. Then it asked for my user name and my password, and Marsha turned the laptop over to me.

I entered 'Jasmine" which seemed sort of sexy and my password was 'readytogo'. Then it gave me my user number 36954 and welcomed me to 'Name Your Pleasure'. There were several pages of explanation and a long user agreement. I usually never read those things, but I decided the terms here were probably important. I released them from all liability if I was injured while in one of their sessions. I promised to not reveal the existence of or services offered by the company except to close friends. It assigned me a safe word of 'equanimity' and warned that saying the safe word during a session would end the session immediately. There was no refund of the session fee for any reason, including a no show. I suppose they often had first time customers who chickened out at the last minute. Sessions could be rescheduled with at least 72 hours' notice.

After I accepted their terms, I started through the vast interview process. It said I could stop at any time and come back to finish later. The cost for my session would be calculated at the end of the interview based on what services I had asked for.

I defined myself as an unmarried, straight female with experience only with conventional sex (whatever that is). I squirmed as I answered 'Yes, I wish to be penetrated vaginally by penises or dildos'. I answered 'Maybe' to the anal penetration and 'Yes' to the oral. My Sexual Self was jumping for joy as I kept answering 'Yes' and 'Maybe'. After that, I had to stop and do some soul-searching about each question. Would I really LIKE to get naked in front of others? I decided I might, so I answered 'Maybe'. Again, Sexual Self giggled in anticipation.

When I got to the 'multiple men simultaneously' question I answered No and Marsha rose to object.

"Cheryl, you haven't done multiples before, but you really ought to experience it. My session with three men was incredible. Answer Yes."

I compromised and answered 'Maybe'. Then I continued to compromise my fearful instincts by listening to Marsha. My Adventurous Self explained that if I was going to do this wild thing, shouldn't I go for everything that wasn't outright repulsive? So, with her pressure I answered 'Maybe' to many things that I didn't really like to think about. Bondage, pain, blindfolded and gagged? My Adventurous Self cheered. I kept assuring my Fearful Self that I could always say No if I wasn't comfortable with something.

When I'd completed the questions, it said the charge for all of the expected things in my session was $1,350 for two hours. My Financial Self frowned. I have a large trust fund from my parents, so that amount wouldn't break me, but I don't use that for normal expenses. My Sexual and Adventurous Selves pointed out the 'once in a lifetime' experience and their excitement made my decision. I entered my credit card information and authorized the charge. There was no going back now.

The site then displayed a calendar for possible dates for my session. About half of the dates in the next couple of weeks were already booked. That made me feel much more comfortable. If their service was that popular without any advertising and after actually screening candidates, it must really be good. I picked Friday of the following week at 7:00 to give myself plenty of time to prepare myself and for my period to end. Marsha hugged me and congratulated me. "You're going to love it!"

The site also provided several PDF files with instructions and suggestions for preparing for the session. Underwear was optional. A sexy dress was best to enhance my own arousal. Eat only a light meal before the session and no alcohol or drugs. They eject anyone they think is drugged up in order to minimize any possible trouble with the law. Use the toilet just before your session. An enema might be helpful if considering anal penetration.

There was an optional form to sign saying I was using some reliable method of birth control and any pregnancy was not their problem. Fortunately I was still on the pill, although that had been a waste for the past year. If I got a STD test in the week before my session and had the lab email it to them, I could get bareback sex. Otherwise condoms for all penetrations. They would provide recent STD tests for their 'workers' when I arrived. My Sexual Self jumped at the mention of bareback sex and my Fearful Self relaxed just a little bit with the discussion of protection.