Here I am, then. Standing in front of a mirror in my luxury hotel room, looking at my nude body on the huge mirror. The body of a 23 years old woman, no older but no younger than that. I have a glorious tan, all around, for the first time in my life. My body is more fit than it has ever been, due to the hours spent in the hotel gym. My body is perfect, my mind is ready, and my decision is firm – although I could still chicken and run. But for what?
It has been a wonderful two months. The credit card given to me buys anything, from trips, top restaurant meals, nightclubs, to renting fast cars which I love – although I have had to drive responsibly, since that body I see on the mirror does not belong to me any more, it must not take any damage. Yet.
And hasn't that body had fun! Anything you can do in a tropical luxury paradise for the rich, making love to any interesting woman or man or couple I set my eyes onto; yes, I am good looking, smart, and educated enough to have anyone I like. Well, almost.
But no sex partner tonight. It is time to caress my body myself, gently touch every part of it, not forgetting my genitals and anus. I have toys to pleasure my dear orifices. I want to feel myself, and then to masturbate myself to sleep.
But first, I have to take those painkillers. Otherwise the cancer will remind of itself. With the pills, the pain stays away completely. I do not touch illegal drugs, they would only hide me from myself, and now I want to be myself. One hundred per cent.
I remember the sad, well, professionally sad anyway, look on the doctor's face when he said:
– I have bad news I'm afraid. The body scan has revealed several metastases, that is to say the spreading of your cancer to other body parts. The sad fact is that even if we remove the tumor, the cancer cannot be cured.
I was devastated.
– At the age of 23!
– Yes, it does happen, although statistically only..., ah, I'm so sorry.
– Glad to known I'm a statistical oddity. How much time do I have?
– Well, we will remove the main tumor anyway, and immediately begin chemotherapy and radiation therapy too, for the detected metastases.
– How much?
– A year, with the best treatment the modern science of medicine can provide. Rest assured, you insurance will cover all costs.
– And I will be vomiting due to chemotherapy, my mouth and my genitals will make it next to impossible for me to eat, let alone other things, I will lose my hair, etcetera?
My mother had gone that way when I was in my teens.
– Well, if you want to put it that way, about so. But everything will be done to make your last months easier.
– If I choose not to begin the therapy, how many good months would I have, months worth living a full life outside the hospital?
– I can guarantee you six months, but toward the end you will have to take some painkillers.
– And their side effects?
– None, they are quite effective these days, for instance..., ah sorry!
– I think that I'll take six good months rather than twelve months of misery.
– It's your choice, but I recommend that you consider carefully. Anyway, how to say, now is the time to do the things which must be done before you pass away. I'm so sorry!
– Thank you for your frankness and your work for me. Let's have the prescription for those painkillers, please. I will be in touch if I start the therapy.
So, I was in the position to choose my way to go. Away. From life. For good. Forever. To die.
I walk from the mirror to the bedroom of my hotel sweet, I lay down on the bed, and gently caress my body. I say aloud, but in a silent voice:
– Sorry, body, you are doomed, and so am I. We will die together. But we will go my way. Body, I know you have enjoyed this luxury vacation. Soon you will serve me, and them, like never before, in a way that few people have experienced. OK, all too many people in the course of history actually, but few in the present era in the western world, and by their own will. It's the end of my vacation paid by them now, and I'm sure they already have a plan for us. At the general level, since they can improvise of course, based on our responses. And we are ready and determined to give them the best possible response, till the point they have broken my will, and all we can do is to yank, squirm and scream.
I had found them through a friend who knew someone who new someone who knew a rich woman who liked to carry out and watch extreme torture. To the death, as gradually and slowly as the victim could take, then more than she or he could take, a lot more. They only used volunteers, women mostly, but occasionally men too. Or that is what that sadist bitch said; My Lady Mistress as I called her. I for sure was a volunteer: the deal that I offered was a couple of months' luxury vacation, then into their hands. They could do anything to me, but I would prefer some time sexual abuse with light punishment, then hard torture with maiming of my body, and then the main point – I must be dead before the good months promised to me end.
She tested me, with whips and electricity mostly. She said I was stronger than their average victims, quite acceptable. Then she summoned them, that group of sadists together, and humiliated and punished me in front of them. All of this without leaving any marks; she was quite good at the job. They accepted me, and the deal was closed. I got a credit card with a huge credit limit, and they arranged me a luxury vacation in this rich people's paradise.
I laugh by myself, lying on the bed, rubbing my body and clitoris with that lovely body oil which I have richly poured on myself.
– You know, body, I may have to bid farewell to you bit by bit! Whether I can take it, or cannot take it. She promised me though, that they will drug me if need be, and give me some time to recover between orgies; some of them have daily businesses to attend to. It's said that if one is high enough by drugs, she can take anything. We may have to find out whether it's true or not, in the late stages of the process.
I cannot resist any longer, I pour the rest in the oil bottle on my genitals and ass, and slowly masturbate, quickly masturbate, furiously masturbate till I reach orgasm. Then masturbate again until I come. And again. And a fourth time. And more times I can keep count on.
