My Personal Awakening

For me, it started the day after my 18th birthday.

I had suffered through the embarrassing ordeal of having my mother as one of my teachers in the spring semester. Considerate in some ways, my parents could only be described as overbearing and puritanically conservative.

In the months leading up to my milestone birthday I realized that what passed as "conservative" opinion in the house where I was raised was really just bigoted, racist vitriol. I had learned that individuals of color, regardless of ability, seldom scored as well as Caucasian and Asian students in my parents' classes. Both were considered hard teachers, but over the years, one would hear things at the house and the rumors in halls at school.

So, the spring semester before my 18th birthday, I did a little experiment. Having been a top student, possessing exceptional study skills as is typical with anyone that has teachers as parents, I knew that I could produce an "A" paper. I knew a girl, Tina, from an African American family that worked hard but seldom received a grade higher than a "B" from classes my parents taught. She was understandably upset with the grades, which previously I put down to jealousy and/or her misconception as to her abilities. I had to put the grading system to a test, so I switched papers with her. I had put the most work that I have ever done on any report that I had ever worked on in school and knew it would be scored an "A".

Tina agreed to go along with my experiment. Unfortunately, my fears were confirmed. Tina received a "C+" and I received my typical "A." I couldn't recall being more confused and disappointed. I walked around in a shocked state through the last days of school and through the week leading up to my birthday.

The following Monday, with my parents at school finishing up their year end activities, I was home alone, looking at the nifty birthday gifts I had received. Bored, with nothing to do, I dressed in a tennis skirt, tee shirt, and bobbie socks, grabbed my Prince racket bag that contained all my tennis equipment and rode my bike to the courts to try to put this whole unfair grading matter behind me.

On a whim, I decided that I would peddle by Tina's house, a bit out of the way, but I felt that I had to apologize to her for my family and the unfortunate discoveries I had made.

I had no idea as to what I was really going to say when I got there. When I learned from her father that Tina had already left for one of the two band camps that she would be at this summer, I explained why I was there.

It turned out that he recalled my mother, who he described as a bitch, and knew all along that she didn't like blacks. The name calling of my mother was a cold bucket of water in my face. Here was a man calling my mother a bitch without a second thought. It turned out that he had my mother for a teacher shortly after his parents moved to the area. He too had been a good student but couldn't ever get higher than a "B-" grade. He recalled that he was blistered good by his father when he brought those grades home. After years of unfair grading, they just learned that grades from my mother for blacks were never going to be any higher. My mother was, without a doubt, a bigoted racist.

I nearly broke into tears. I didn't want to hear it, but in my heart, knew it was true. Tina's father, Tommie, as he wanted to be called, had not gotten the scholarships he needed to get into a more prestigious college and settled for the community college, where he did receive better grades. A diploma from the local community college didn't carry the weight of a more reputable college however. As a result, for the last 18 years, he had been scratching out a living at the local wood mill. You could see that his lot in life wasn't what he'd dreamed of and the memories only served to make him more and more bitter over the years.

His presence was intense and powerful. I had known that Tina had lost her mother and grandfather in a car accident on a trip to see family out of state. Two more children, both younger than Tina, were being raised by this hard, passionate man.

I was overwhelmed with regret and needed to make amends for the difficulties that my parents had caused him. I said as much.

"Well now girlie, I can hardly have the beating that my pa used to hand out because of the grades I received, taken back," he smirked.

"No, you're right, you can't. My mom should have gotten the spankings instead," I blurted out. "But I can try to make it up to you. I can cook and clean for you and take care of your other daughters when you are at work. I'll do anything."

"The two young ones have gone to their aunts for part of the summer. My wife's sister spends time with them as a surrogate mother. They have not gotten past their momma's passing" he added sadly. "So, unfortunately, aside from a little cleaning for the next two weeks, there isn't much you can do."

I could see that his mind was racing. Out of somewhere in my mind, I said quickly, "how about you take the spankings that my mom should have received out on me?" I quickly, "please."

"I don't think that would be the best solution and not really enough to make up for things." he chided gently.

"Please, I will do whatever I can to make up for everything. I swear," I said, pleading with him.

"I don't think that you know what you are actually offering little one." He stated, but it came out as a question.

"Yes I do, I really do." I lied, not really knowing what I offered, swept away by the tides of emotions.

"Are you serious?" he asked incredulously.

"Yes I am!" I responded emphatically.

"So, you are willing to be a servant for me?"

"Yes I am!" I responded again.

"Well, today I will need to watch you clean the dishes." he said.

He motioned over to the sink. There were only a couple dishes in the basin. He sat in a chair at the table in the kitchen as I walked over to the sink. I felt a wonderful ease as I ran the water and knew that he was watching me in my skirt from behind. My plump little butt bulging the tennis skirt out. I thought quickly that I had wished that I hadn't worn the liner panties with them. Then I could give him a little tease.

In short order I finished the washing the dishes, dried them and put them away slowly. When I turned to him, he appeared to have appreciated my efforts to sway a little while I was at the sink and the bending that I did to put the dishes away. However, he said in a flat tone, "if you come back tomorrow, I will know that you are serious about being a good little girl and maybe even a good little slave. There will be a test if you decide to come back and even the ledger, so to speak, with the difficulty and disappointment that your mother caused." With that, he politely ushered me out the rear door where my bicycle was and gave me a stinging swat on my behind as he said, "I'll look forward to seeing you here, that is, if you are serious."

The ride back to my house was an ordeal of pleasure. The bicycle smile was definitely at work. I was wet thinking about the swat and the opportunity to begin making things up to him and his daughters. I knew that I would gladly do whatever he wanted. The wetness all over my thighs and seat was all the proof I needed. The following morning couldn't come quickly enough.

The remainder of the day was terrible. The heat was stifling in my house. Even though Tina's family didn't have central air, the air there seemed so rich and caused such a nice swelter. The heat in this house, where I felt as if I was a stranger, was intolerable. Unfortunately, my parents insisted that using central air during the mid day before July 4th was not very thrifty. Now, with nothing in my mind but hiding the frustration of waiting for the sun to go down, I tried to read while the sweat tricked over my back under my tee shirt and under the bra I had on. I was only reading every other word of a magazine article as my mind raced with concerns and desires.

I wanted to avoid seeing my mother that evening but as the afternoon gave way to the early evening, I heard dinner being prepared, and knew I could not escape an encounter with her. That my mother didn't come up to say that she was home was a little odd, and with all that my mind had considered, her knowing was a possibility. I had no idea how. Maybe someone had seen me and my mother drew a conclusion, which in this case was the right one, if only premature.

I was certain that my plan to rectify my family's covert racism would be obvious to them and I would be in for a level of trouble that I had not encountered before. However, and much to my real surprise, it was apparent that they were unaware. There would be no lecture. Tina's father hadn't called to tell her mother what was in the offering. I would be free to actually do what I really had need to do. Until then, I hadn't recalled that he said that there would be a "test." What sort of test did he have in mind?

I had briefly enjoyed the dinner when I realized that my secret was safe, but as I put away dishes for a second time today, my mind started to wonder and the remaining evening's chores were completed with a minimal of awareness. Time slid by and darkness fell as I considered as to what he meant as a "test." Surely I wasn't going to have to write a paper for him to grade? Sleep was, that night, difficult and seemed only fitful when it did come.

Not realizing it, I slept until nearly mid-morning. Evidently my night passions had left me more tired than I could recall. I must have had some dream in which I was interacting with it as the sheets were all a jumble. As I would normally, I slept in panties and a tank top. The panties I wore were still wet, soiled with my passions in a dream that I couldn't recall having. I wasn't a virgin. I had lost that so-called innocence the year before after a football game to one of the senior players at a victory celebration.

Even though I seemed to have avoided a reputation as an "easy gal," afterwards, I tended to enjoy making some of the boys feel good by rewarding them orally. I had been with three other boys since the first time. I didn't see the issue with why girls didn't like doing it. I knew that I did. But then again, I didn't throw myself at the boys. I didn't have to. It might have been that the boys I went to school with were intimidated by my parents, both being educators. It might have been also that I started to develop a little earlier than some of the other gals and was nearly a C-cup already.

While this was a boon in some more obvious areas, It was going to prevent me from ever becoming a better tennis player or playing at a higher level. I had to face it, even with the tightest sports bra, if I kept developing, the flopping around was going to be a distraction in more than one way. It also would ruin my form as I couldn't get my arms in to the right angle for my back hand. So, bouncing all over and playing from only one side of the court, I had resigned myself to the glass ceiling that I was going to run into. Small breasted gals always seem to be the only players that made it past college, with the rare exceptions of some of the Eastern European players, but they tended to be on the professional stage briefly. One notable exception from the American shores easily comes to mind, but she hits the ball hard then all but the top men players, which I don't.

But my lovely C-cups opened new doors for me. Even only barely at 5'2" ( I always say that I am 5'3" as I round up) I weigh less than 100 lbs, though only just barely. So, I was a little lighter and shorter than all of my peers. Though I knew that I was only was going to grow from this point on in my life was outwards, not upwards. Though, it wasn't that bad of a thing. Being well developed on a small frame with a tight narrow behind and thin, if not really toned legs, was not a bad hand to be dealt, even if it meant not being the tennis star that I dreamt all those years for.

I noticed this for the first time as I completed my shower and walked back to my bedroom nude. Only a towel wrapped up on my head to dry my hair. I watched myself in the mirror. My lean and nubile body, well tanned, looked back at me. I decided then, I was so eager to set things right yesterday for all the mis-deeds my mother had done unto others, that what I could really give him was my body. It certainly caused eyes to watch, heads to turn and barely audible whistles of approval to be generated. Why not give him this body in return as payment. I wouldn't be just a servant or slave and tease him a little like I did yesterday.

The morning heat was no where near the level that it would be in the afternoon, but between the hot water shower and the heat in the air, I was starting to perspire and I watched how a bead of water started just below my neck as it trailed its way down, slowly rolling down the center of my chest as it trailed slightly to the left to graze and trickle the inner part of my left breast, tickling, causing me to shiver, which shook it further down on to my flat, toned tummy. There is took an agonizingly long time to watch trailed ever further downward until it was lost in the tangle of my trimmed hairs just above my treasure. The one thing that I owned. The one thing that I would really give.

I knew that I was to be a little naughty today. So, I found a pair of high-waist, what we gals called, whale tail thongs. I had to keep them hidden from my mother for obvious reasons. But I had them on, another tennis skirt with out the liner. A thin bra and a typical tee shirt. In case I was stopped, I grabbed my tennis gear and ran down the stairs outside, forgetting even to grab a bite to eat ( I had power bars in the bag that I would always munch on). I rode on to go meet my future.

(Part 2 to come)

Shortly after leaving my house I started to regret my choice of panties. With out the panty liner the thong had worked its way up between my lips and was causing a bit of friction on my clit. That meant that every bump on the road I felt in very real way. Coupled with the building heat of the mid morning I was soon as wet as I was the previous day. But now I was aware that I started to grind myself back in to the bicycle seat with each pedal. It was the longest and most pleasurable bicycle ride I have ever had. I was on the verge of an orgasm for more then half the way to Tina's father. I only slowed down for the sake of preventing me from wrecking my bike from the blacking out from an orgasm.

So, there I arrived at their house. Sweaty and panting a little more than I would have thought, considering the conditioning years of tennis gave me. But yet, after just over of five miles of biking through the morning heat and the increased level of passion, tinted with hope, confusion and a little fear, I stood there in anticipation of receiving what I needed more than anything; awaiting the answer to my rapid knocks at his back porch. The same screen enclosed parched door I stood at less than 24 hours before. Albeit with what I thought was a different objective in mind then.

It seemed like an eternity that before he answered the door. My mind raced with concern and apprehension. Had I so misread the day before that he wouldn't be here? Did he not want what I had to offer him? Was this all some little girl fantasy that was completely detached from the reality at hand? I had thoughts of turning and leaving before I found the disappointment of learning that any of that might be true. It is amazing how quickly ones mind can race away with itself and the topics it can cover in the space of a couple heart beats. What seemed like an eternity actually turned out to be less than 15 seconds. He saw me ride up his private drive way from upstairs and was on his way to the door when I knocked.

He invited me in to the same room as the day before and guided me to a kitchen chair. One padded and covered in cheap vinyl. The kind that skin nearly adheres to. The nervous of finally being here and the exertion of riding made the upper back part of my thighs slick with sweat. I sat firmly in the chair and there I seemed, was there to stay as the chair held me firm. The hem of my skirt too short to gather under me when I sat. So, for the second time already today, I had come to regret the choice of panties. Yet, there was something so naughty about being seated in this man's house as such that I was distracted though the first part of his questions and tried to fill in the blanks of what he might have said when he started speaking.

I wasn't keeping up and that was clear to him after a brief pause while he awaited my response. I was a little embarrassed that I was thinking for how I could feel through my damp panties my lips press into the padded vinyl and how my skin was trapped to it. God I was so hot experiencing that. I was jerked back into the present with his sharp announcement, "Catherine, I am talking to you!"

I apologized for the distracted responses I had given, but assured him that I was aware that I was here to satisfy the debt my mother caused him. "I will balance the ledger how ever I may," I replied quickly.

"Is that so little one?" he asked gently.

"Yes, I promise!" I responded, eager to be correcting one wrong with what others would surely say is another. But it hardly mattered at that point. Sitting there, in front of this dark and deeply powerful man I knew, even yesterday that I had desired to be subservient to him.

"Well, since you promise, I want you to take this note pad and write and sign your promise down then. That way I will have your written word as your bond. This is the first of your tests that you must first pass to become what I, and I think, want, which is to be my slave during the day." he said in a matter of fact tone. When he said slave, it cut through the haze of uncertainty and found my pussy moisten rapidly, as if anticipation of orgasm just from the word of being his slave.

I grabbed the pad and pen and started writing. I, Catherine, will hereby make the effort to be your slave in what ever fashion you desire to level the debt that my family clearly owes to you and your family for the racially influenced grades my mother subjected you and your family to. I have offered this to you of my own free will and have done so with out any solicitation from any one else. The terms of my debt arrangement will be determined solely by my actions and considerations of you, my master. Signed, Catherine and to which I dated.

So, breathing heavily, I laid down the pen and looked as sultry as I could up at him. With that, he pushed back from the table in his chair opposite of me. The scraping of the chair against was loud in the quiet kitchen, but more importantly, I could feel the scrapping as the chair moved. The vibrations seemed to go directly to my increasingly wet pussy and caused the first orgasm that I was to have there. He looked happy that I was manifesting my eagerness so quickly.

"Stand up Catherine." He also gestured to me to get up as he walked around the table.