I am over 40 and a little overweight and out of shape. Some men may call that curvy. I have been married for 17 years. I have 3 children. I have been very unhappy both in life and sexually. Then I met Him and discovered that
I am a sub.
I was always dominant in my sex life with my husband. I could "climb on for a ride" whenever I chose. He is very passive when it comes to sex. I had been feeling extremely unfulfilled and empty. Longing for something, I just didn't know what that something was.
One afternoon, in a fit of boredom and loneliness, I decided to download a new app to my phone. It was a sex chat app. I felt very secretive and naughty doing it, even more so once I opened it. While scanning through the "Meet People" section a text to me popped up. My eyes nearly bugged out of my head when I read,
"Hey, do you sext?"
Just like that.
I closed the app right then. Later in the day though, I checked the notifications. I was curious. Most I just deleted immediately. One of them caught my eye however. It had a profile picture of a single red rose. The text said,
"What are you into?"
What the hell did that mean?
I decided to respond to the text and sent
"Idk what you mean."
It didn't take long to get a response.
"What are you into? What do you want out of sex?"
"Well duh?" I thought. I want what every other woman wants, a mind-blowing orgasm. I couldn't say that to some stranger though so I answered,
"More than I get now!"
"What do you get now?"the mysterious man asked.
I decided what the hell. This person didn't know me. I could say whatever I chose and not feel any consequences. So I decided to be truthful.
"You want the truth, or are you into fantasy?"
"I am into fantasies, and fulfilling them. Give me truth."
"Fine. Sex is boring. I get more enjoyment from playing with toys than my husband. I'm tired of it always being the same. I want more."
"How do you want more?"
"Well really, start with the easy questions why don't you?" I thought sarcastically.
"What do you mean?"
"Tell me what you dream sex should be like. What do you want to change?"
"Well, I'm tired of doing all the work, I guess. I want someone else to make the decisions. Tell me what to do and how to do it. Someone to, at least, be an equal participant."
"Do you want to be controlled? Told what to do?"
"Well I've never thought of that, to tell the truth. Has some allure. Won't get that here though."
"Would you like to try it?"
"Can't. I said I won't get that here. Can't convince my husband to try anything new. The wildest thing I get him to do is go out to a nudist resort."
"Hmmmm. Would you consider letting me control you? You would have to come to trust me."
"I don't know you."
"That can be changed."
What followed in the next few weeks was a voyage of discovery for me. I talked to Him every day. I discovered he lived in the South of England. He was married as I was and also dissatisfied, although not to my extent, as his wife was not really into what he was. He sent me his picture. I saved it to the camera roll on my phone. I was fascinated by his eyes and every now and then would open the picture to fall into them. His eyes felt like they saw more deeply into me than anyone had before.
He was a Dom. He got sexual satisfaction from control. He was into bondage. He liked to use ropes and cuffs. All this shocked me. I hadn't even guessed that this world existed. In fact, once I'd learned this I didn't even text him for a couple days as I processed the information he'd imparted. I could not stay away though. I was drawn to Him like steel to a magnet.