My Life As A Doll Ch 02

Kyle was true to his word. I came again and again, his hands, his tongue, his cock and a thoroughly intense slapping session brought me to my limit. I was spent, bruised and raw. My nipples were grazed from his constant attention and my well was dry. By 4 am I was ready to sleep in a foetal position for about thirty hours. But Kyle made sure he first bathed me, massaged my bruised muscles and fed me. I was then tucked into a bed and the room was darkened. I expected him to curl up beside me but he left the room. At first I went to analyse this move but tiredness overtook me.

I awoke late the following morning to find a note by my bed. "Eat anything you want before you go and rest as long as you need. You will need your strength to cope with my demands. Well done my little doll, I will see you when I need you." I reread the note several times, was he being considerate, was he being an arsehole, what the fuck did the last part mean? I wasn't going to be used and abandoned whenever he felt like it. In my usual manner I got shitty and stormed around the room putting my clothes back on, kicking his furniture and cursing him continually. I walked into the kitchen and yelled, "Kyle are you here?" No reply. I went upstairs and looked throughout the house, no sign of life anywhere. "Fuck me, what a bastard." My indignation made me leave hungry and mad.

At home the doubt set in, was I being too harsh, had he done anything wrong, maybe he had to be somewhere else early this morning and didn't want to wake me........thoughts that run through your head are a bitch aren't they? I hated the way they changed my perception of the situation. I went from a super high, having the greatest sex of my life to a super low, I had been used and he didn't think I was special enough to wake with a morning kiss.

By 6pm I had convinced myself that I was never going to hear from Kyle again and that I was shit in bed. The knock on my door startled me. I opened it thinking it was Kyle, instead it was a guy holding a massive box of fresh fruit, vegetables and lots of red meat. He asked me if I was Grace, I replied in the affirmative but added that I didn't order a delivery from any health farm. He replied 'I just deliver, sign here."

I took the box inside, tucked in it was another note from Kyle 'Eat properly, you are my doll and I want you in good health, never forget that I am thinking about you all the time." My toes curled and somehow all my negativity dissipated.

The new morning saw me full of positivity and energy. I ran to work and spent my shift sing "You're mine' by Disturbed. I couldn't wait to see him, taste him and feel him. Already I felt alone when he wasn't around. I was falling far too fast but I was loving the ride.

It was a week before he called. A week of torture, why did men think it was ok to not communicate? Surely enough articles had been written, movies made, soap operas played out for them to realise communication was the key to a good relationship. I hated not knowing what was going on, so when he called instead of getting a warm fuzzy he got a frosty brush off. Unfortunately for me it didn't work. Instead of getting an expected apology for neglecting me I got, "You are my doll, I told you I am thinking of you, that should be enough. Now I would like you to be here in twenty minutes, I am ready to fuck you and I don't want to wait any longer" Strangely that thought of possession turned me on. I wanted to be his doll, I wanted him to fuck me whenever and wherever he wanted.

The front door was opened as I pulled into the driveway. I eagerly went to the door expecting an embrace, a smile, a crumb of affection. Nothing, just an open door. I walked through and shut it behind myself. "Naked now and bend over the couch." My training in following orders kicked in.

His cock slammed into me, hard, fast and forcefully. The intensity and brutality shocked me. He held me by both of my breasts as he pounded my open cunt relentlessly. I could feel him tightening and his thrusting became frenzied. His orgasm was announced by a long guttural cry and by gathering my body into his. "My doll, only mine," was all he said. I realised then that he did need me in an abnormal sort of way.

I tried to talk, but he only wanted my mouth for one thing. "Clean me with your tongue, show me how much you idolise my cock." I licked him from base to tip, to idolise I kissed him along the shaft. My desire to please him overtook me and I increased the pressure of my mouth, I circled my tongue around and around his hood. I wanted him in my throat, I wanted to swallow him. Kyle sensed my mood and grasped my hair. He dragged me forward, his cock sliding down my throat. My tongue flattened to allow him access. He started to thrust, I started to gag, as he withdrew my spit clung to his cock. I looked up at him and pleaded, "More please Master, I need to drink your cum." I grasped his arse before he could move and forced him into my mouth. I did all the work, using my hands, my tongue and my throat to fuck my master. His cum spurted into my throat, the taste was salty and creamy. I swallowed deeply, savouring my lover's juice. I don't know who looked more triumphant, me because I had swallowed and given him my all or Kyle because he knew he owned me.

The next month was evolutionary for me. I read book after book about submission, I watched porn to perfect my skills with oral sex and I followed every direction given to me from my master. I purchased new underwear, black and smooth, I photographed myself everyday to provide him with proof of what I was wearing under my uniform, I ventured into sex toys and discovered that wearing vibrating beads took a lot of effort. I was rewarded when I pleased him and soon learnt the crop could deal me a painful punishment if I failed a task. Unfortunately for me I loved to challenge limits and could withstand a fair bit of pain, so I felt the crop often. Secretly, I loved the pain and the man who was administering it.

The moment the words came out of my mouth I knew I had made a mistake. Love wasn't supposed to develop in this sort of relationship, it was a submissive arrangement. I was his but he wasn't mine. The reality hurt me more than any physical punishment, my bubble burst and the gravity of my situation descended like a black cloud. The one person who mattered to me the most could walk away at any time and I couldn't do a thing about it.

It wasn't as though Kyle ran from me screaming "I don't love you, you can't be in love with me!" but he pulled back on giving me his attention. Suddenly his phone seemed more interesting than me, it was one of my pet hates, people texting whilst they are talking to me, he had work more often or he simply watched lots of clips from the net. Our time together was limited, both of us had commitments and so after the third evening of no playing I became quite agitated.

My mouth again had its own agenda and I blurted out,

"Why aren't you fucking me? I am sorry I said that I loved you but I am not one of those women who say it lightly, I fucking meant it Kyle and I am not afraid to admit it."

He looked at me with an unreadable expression and said, "Grace I know that you love me and I am honoured that you feel that way but I can't give you the happy ending that you want. I won't fall in love with you because one day I will leave you. But for now I want to be with you and that in itself is a big thing."

"What the fuck, you are planning to leave me, when tonight, tomorrow, next fucking week?"

"Calm down Grace, you will know when it is over and believe me it's not."

I reeled away from him, I didn't want to cry but my eyes pooled. He grabbed me and spun me around.

"No Grace, don't cry, I don't want to hurt you. Baby, for now you are it, I can't say we will always be together because I don't want to lie to you."

He pulled me into his chest, his kiss on the top of my head was the most intimate moment we had ever had. Although I wanted to flee I realised it was only because I didn't want to face the possibility of life without him. Being here with him was what I wanted, it was where I needed to be. Call me a fool, but it was self-preservation. Plain and simple I loved him so why deny myself, I knew I would be a wreck without him.

"Well, if you plan on leaving me you'd best not waste anymore time. I am sure there are other things you'd like to do to your doll, Master."

My invitation was accepted by a sharp slap to my left arse cheek. He then threw my over his shoulder and carried me to his room. He unbuttoned my shirt, never taking his eyes from me. My breasts were pulsing out of the tiny balconette bra I had on. He savagely pulled them both free and started feasting on my left nipple. As he bit and suckled me he undid my skirt and let it fall to the floor. He stopped suckling and stood before me. He slowly removed his clothes, his cock burst forward, hungry like a wolf searching for its prey.

He went to his wardrobe and pulled out some cable ties and a spreader bar. I had seen these used in the porn movies, the thought of being unable to close my thighs was exciting. He snapped a cable tie around my wrists and then used another to fasten them to his bed railing. I was leaning over slightly with my arse in a black g string poking out. He placed the metal bar between my ankles, the shackles felt cool against my skin. My legs were about my shoulder width apart. I couldn't move but I had never been more aroused in my life.

He pulled out a small whip and started to lash my arse and my thighs. My pain level was being tested and I started to cry out. He took a small pair of scissors to the side of my g string and cut them off. He took them from the ground, rolled them into a ball and placed them in my mouth to keep me quiet. I was unable to move or make a sound, totally at his mercy and dripping wet. He got a vibrator out and set it on a low speed. He ran it over my nipples which were hanging freely in front of me. The sensation on my left side was incredible. He leant over my back and began biting into the flesh of my neck. I was throbbing, my need for his cock was driving me insane, my muffled moans increased as my orgasm built. He seemed to notice my impending explosion so he pulled back from my neck and let the vibrator wander down my torso. He teased me by running it around the top of my mound and then onto my thighs. God I just wanted him to touch my clit, just once. But no, he was my master and he would decide when I would be pleasured. He withdrew totally and went back to his wardrobe. When he returned he ducked under my arms and came into my line of vision.

"Doll, I am going to clamp your nipples, this might hurt a little, but you want to please me don't you?" I nodded my head in agreement. I would do anything for him if it meant I had his affection. This sex was unlike anything I had ever experienced, don't judge me if you haven't tried it. The metal clamp looked frightening. I will admit I was terrified at first but he gently placed it over my pink tip and released it. The pain shot through me but he softened it my finding my clit with his finger, he slowly rubbed and circled it so I concentrated on that sensation. I was getting close to climaxing when he slipped the clamp on my right nipple. My scream was stifled by my underwear. I had kept my eyes closed since seeing the first clamp but I opened them to see Kyle's face just centimetres from mine, "My beauty, my doll, you are magnificent. Never have I seen someone as strong as you."

His words made me strong. If this was his fantasy; I would give him everything he wanted. He slipped out and resumed his position behind me. His hands found my breasts and he tugged on my nipples, soon the sensation became erotic and I found myself automatically rocking as if he was fucking me. Kyle took this in his stride and thrust into my pussy, his cock capturing my attention as it hit high inside me. We fucked like this for a little while, me arching my back to take him deeper, him pushing and pulling, bruising me externally and internally. He withdrew from me before either of us came and went back to his wardrobe, he retrieved a dildo and came back under my arms. He had the dildo in one hand and his cock in the other, "See what you do to me Doll, I want you, look at my cock, it wants you. I am going to cum in your mouth again, do you understand? But this time I want you to cum as well, so I am going to insert this into you and then you are going to use that sweet mouth to fuck me."

Kyle returned to his position behind me and slowly inserted the dildo into my swollen pussy. When he turned it on the vibrations radiated through me. He snapped the cable ties and allowed me to stretch out my back, as I did the dildo shifted, it now pulsated against my clitoris. I couldn't get down onto my knees without his help because of the bar. As he guided me down I took the opportunity to look at his face. He was loving the power, enjoying the win in conquering me but also basking in his role as my one and only master. My mouth opened to take him, my hands gripped his hips, ready to thrust him. He grasped my head and arched forward. His cock was thick and hot. It slid down my throat as I slightly tilted my head to encompass the full length of him. I sucked my cheeks in to tighten around him. He pumped into me a few times before I took over. My hands set our pace and my tongue ravished the thick veins that wound around his shaft. The dildo was still mercilessly pounding my clit, bringing on an intense orgasm. I felt Kyle stiffen and heard him quicken his breath intake. We were going to be in perfect sync, our timing was impeccable. His juices spurted right at the moment my pussy contracted in a delicious spasm.

I was spent, my ankles had started to ache, my back and neck were sore and my insides were raw. Kyle removed the shackles and massaged my legs. He ran an enormous bath for us both. As we were sitting in it we discussed our week as if we were in a normal relationship. Trying to find time together was getting harder as both of our work schedules were challenging.

I was so focussed on trying to analyse where I could find an hour here or there in my head that I misunderstood a question based on going for a surf at Smiths beach. My reply was a distorted statement about being frustrated enough that we couldn't find time for sex let alone me having anytime to miss surfing.

"Grace, listen to me, I want to take you back down to Smiths for a surf, I think it is important for you to let go and forgive yourself. You need to do this for yourself Grace."

I looked at him horrified, there was no way I was ever going to walk again on the sand let alone get into the body of water that took my brother away. I pulled my knees up and retreated from Kyle.

"Grace, please let me help you do this, you trust me don't you?"

I couldn't answer him because I didn't believe he could help me with my fears, I trusted him with sex but my deepest failure was a completely different story.

I got out of the bath and got dressed. I left him without saying a single word. My thoughts rambled between memories of that day, my grief and guilt that had shaped me since then, my need to now try to help everyone and thoughts of how Kyle had helped other people. Had this become his quest for me? I loved him for thinking he could even try to work out the fucked up side of me but I knew that while we were on such a tentative arrangement I would never trust him enough for that.

He let me live with my demons for a few days. During that time the full reality of a submissive relationship hit me. I could love him all I wanted but I would never be his priority, I was his doll, his toy and he was my master. Could I live with that? Was it worth the risk of being completely broken when he did decide to leave? The only thing I knew that was true was that I couldn't walk away from him, not while I loved him like I did.

His next move would decide our fate.