Ever since I was a little girl, I have felt different. In a way, apart from the real world. I am always taken away by my emotions, and have never, truly, been afraid of what they may bring to me. For as long as I can remember, I have had a fascination with spanking. If feels awkward to admit, but there is just something about being over a caring lap, and having a warmed bottom, that just seems to push me over the edge.
When I was very young, maybe six or seven years old, I played "house" with my dolls. I would spank and scold them (somewhat quietly, of course, so that my parents would not hear or suspect anything), for being naughty. Then I would hold them in my arms and squeeze them and comfort them. Sometimes I would even pretend that I was one of the dolls being spanked.
As I got older I would make believe that I was over my daddy's lap (not my real father, but someone trustworthy, and someone to take care of me at my most vulnerable moments). I would be receiving a well earned spanking for being a "bad girl,".
In my mid-teens I attempted to fulfill my own desires/needs with some not-so-random household objects (such as a metal spatula, a wooden spoon, etc.) but I could not swing hard enough to REALLY feel it. Nor, was I never fully satisfied. How could I be? I had no one to hold me afterward, and tell me that I was a "good girl." I just had an object bruising up my ass, and very little self-respect.
About two and a half years ago I found a wonderful man to help me with my problem. He is a handsome, tall, and strict man, but his sensitivity out-powers all of his other amazing traits. I met Eric in an online chat room for people who just wanted to talk, late at night. It was nothing like a sexual room where people cyber or anything, just a place to get to know people, and make some friends.
I got to know a little about Eric in the room and we started instant messaging each other every time we found one another online. I guess you could say we became obsessed with each others company. Which, for me was a very good thing. Since I was always the shy type, it was hard at first to open up to him about my dirty little secret.
He soon started talking about "sexual preferences," and he told me that he had always wished to take a stubborn, little brat of a woman over his knee and teach them how to behave like a lady. I sort of jumped at this opportunity to tell him my views on the topic, and to my surprise I did not feel ashamed, even for a moment about my desires.
I felt safe in trusting him not to blab this out to my entire online world of friends, including my boss and some colleagues. I guess I was very lucky to find a man who would be this honest and respectful. It is very rare these days, for people, men especially, to be honest with each other. Every one so is afraid of being let down, being embarrassed, or not getting their way, that they put everyone else's pride on the line for their own.
Last night Eric spanked me harder than he ever has before, and I swear that while I was receiving my punishment, I wished to be ANYWHERE but over his lap. It started when I got home from "college" (actually the store) for "spring break."
I told him that I had been behaving myself, not going to bars and drinking too much on school nights. I told him that every night I had been going to my dorm and studying my ass off until 1:00 a.m. Then I would go to sleep, and get up at 8:30 for my first class. I was lucky that my classes started later than most, because in my school, only the special classes where in the early morning.
Anyway, when I returned home, I was surprised to see my good friend who I had partied with all semester (a friend from a spanking group that Eric and I attend), sitting on our black leather couch in our living room. Eric told me that he had asked "his" friend to watch me, and keep a close eye on me during school. I was shocked!
"How dare you lie to me like that, young lady!?! he stammered, as I was trying to figure out exactly what was happening. "I trusted you, young lady, to spend MY MONEY, for your education wisely, and you have greatly disappointed me. Not to mention embarrassed me in front of my friend, here. Now I want you to go up to the bedroom, take off your panties and wait for me to join you." I obeyed.
