Hi! Linda here again, continuing where I left off telling the story of how I transitioned from being the "girl next door" into a (sometimes) sex slave. If you haven't read the first part of my little journey please do, because I wrote about the very first feelings of submissiveness that I had... how I liked the missionary position because when I was pinned down under my husband John it felt like I was going to get fucked whether I wanted it or not, and how I used to imagine that I had to suck his cock whether I wanted to or not, and how I just liked the feeling that I was being
used
.
Classic Catholic guilt, right? And I know it might sound like a rape fantasy and I guess maybe it is to a certain extent, but I don't have that much interest in being forcibly taken by a guy and trying to fight him off, I just like the feeling of
inevitability
. That's why a sex slave fantasy began to really turn me on, where it's just a given that things
are
going to happen to me, and I have no say in the matter.
And it's hard to explain why I like feeling used... I think it's how it kind of cancels all of me out, I mean it's like nothing about me matters anymore except for my cunt or my mouth. I called it feeling like a human Fleshlight, and I don't really know why but I love that feeling. Maybe there's just something about me that makes me want to disappear.
If you did read the first part, you'll know that it all started on a Friday night when my husband, almost on a whim, grabbed my wrists and held them in place while he fucked me. It felt amazing, and I knew right away that I wanted to be tied down because that was way hotter than just being pinned down. And so, the next morning I finally told John about some of the fantasies I had, and he surprised me by saying the idea of being in control was a turn-on for him as well. Who knew? He's always been a really giving person and a totally unselfish lover, and I wondered if it even came as a surprise to him.
But he took to it like a fish to water, as they say. I had told him that he could make me do things even if they weren't always fun for me - and he promptly made me suck him off and swallow all of his cum, which was something I had never done before. And then he had me finger myself in front of him, which I had also never done before. And if that wasn't enough, he pinched one of my nipples while I was doing it, and out of nowhere I blurted out, "hurt me," so he pinched harder. And *blushes* I loved it.
After all that he asked me if he could tie me up that evening, yay! And then later in the day I kind of accidently discovered he had slipped into our bedroom and fastened ropes to the corners of our bed, ready and waiting for
me
. I could hardly contain myself all through dinner, knowing those ropes were in there. Every once in a while I would glance down at my wrist and get butterflies in my stomach thinking about how there would soon be a rope around it.
My fate was sealed
.
After dinner my mind kept on racing as John and I stood next to each other at the sink doing the dishes. I couldn't stop thinking that this great guy standing next to me would soon be tying me down and using my body for his own pleasure however he wanted. Silly me, in a moment of passion the night before I had told him he could do anything he wanted to me, and he said he liked that... so what
was
my fate?
As we sat on the couch later having coffee I was like a cat in heat and could have jumped him right then and there, but I held back and waited. I didn't want to seduce him, I wanted to be used by him.
We watched the news in silence until he put his arm around me and finally said, "Linda... I can't stop thinking about the fantasies we talked about this morning." And the fingers of his other hand found the top button of my blouse and started fiddling with it.
"Me neither," I said, my voice sounding a little husky.
"Uh, so I was wondering... would you still like me to tie you up?"
Would I, ha! "I'd like that a lot. Do you still want to?"
"Yes, I do," he said, and then he kissed me and began to slowly unbutton me. I kept my own hands at my sides.
John hadn't undressed me in a long time; our lovemaking had fallen into a that typical pattern of talking about it first, you know, something like, "Do you want to fool around?" followed by going into the bedroom and undressing ourselves. But as his tongue explored my mouth, he continued opening up my blouse and it was incredibly erotic. And talking was a little different now!
"Is it okay," he asked, "if I kind of use you, like this morning?"
"Yes... I want you to," I said, and with that he spread the open front of my blouse and put his hand under my bra.
"It really excites me Linda," he said as he cupped my right breast.
"Mmm, me too Baby."
"Does it really?"
"Why don't you, um... check for yourself."
He hesitated momentarily until he understood what I meant, and then slid his hand down over my stomach and underneath the front of my jeans. He continued down over my underwear until his fingers found my sex, and I knew he could feel a big wet spot there. As he pressed his hand against my cunt I grunted and raised my hips in response.
"You can tie me up and use me John," I said, breathing heavily, "my body's all yours."
"Oh God," he said, and he kissed me as passionately as he ever had with his hand still in my crotch. I arched my back, my hands still at my sides, mentally giving my body up to him to have his way with. He was feeling me up, I thought to myself, not seducing me but just feeling me up. I know it sounds weird, but I've always loved that phrase. The few men I've been with have all been gentlemen and the sex consensual, but there's this part of me that just wanted to be felt up.
Groped works for me too, haha. I think I mentioned my husband looks a little like Keanu Reeves, and hey I can't be the only girl who'd be up for a good groping by old Keanu, LOL. Sorry to digress, I think I also warned you I can be a little defensive about all this and embarrassed too.
He pulled his hand out to unbutton my jeans and then said in a quiet voice, "Stand up." I did, and he proceeded to unzip me and push my jeans down to the floor. I was already barefoot and easily stepped out of them, and I held my arms behind me so he could slide my open blouse off. A moment later I was standing there in just my bra and panties and all I could think of was that I wanted him to continue undressing me, I wanted to be naked with him while he still had his clothes on.
He didn't disappoint. He took my shoulders and gently turned me around to face away from him as he undid the clasp of my bra and took it off me. When I felt his fingers slip underneath the elastic waist of my panties, I knew I was seconds away from my wish and I practically quivered with excitement. He slowly lowered this last little bit of clothing down over my legs, and after I stepped out of them, he turned me back around to face him and wrapped his arms around me.
As he held my naked body against him, I felt the roughness of his jeans and the coldness of his belt buckle against my exposed skin and I was on fire! I know it sounds funny, but I had never been naked with a clothed man and it seemed to totally capture this new circumstance... I was a woman about to be used, and he was the man who was going to use me. It doesn't sound very feminist, does it? I can't help it; it was everything I wanted at that moment.
"Let's go in the bedroom," he said, and as he took me by the arm and led me there another wave of heat washed over me. Me naked, being led to the ropes. And then it flashed through my mind, what if I had a collar around my neck and he was leading me by a leash? OMG, would John think that was too weird? Maybe I'll have to ask him. My mind was a blur of collars, leashes... and chains. Jeez, I thought to myself, I have some serious kink going on.
We arrived in the bedroom and he sat us both down on the left side of the bed. "If we're going to do this," he said to me, "we should have safe words."
"Safe words?" I said weakly, my mind still lost in thought pretending he was holding a leash attached to my imaginary collar. "What do you..."
"It's in case I'm doing something you don't, you know, really want me to do."
"Oh." I hadn't thought of that possibility. "Uh, okay... sure."
"What a lot of people do is to say colors, green is go, yellow is slow down, red is stop. Like traffic lights."
I looked at him and smiled. "Where did you hear about that?"