Hi! My name is Linda, and over the past few months I've become sexually submissive to my husband John. Gosh, that sounds like somebody's introduction at an AA meeting, doesn't it? I should be more upfront about it and just admit to you that *blushes* I've become my husband's sex slave.
It's not something either of us planned on when we got married last year, but it's been very exciting for both of us and I decided to try and write down why and how it came to be and share my experience.
It could be that you're a woman who wishes your relationship could be more like mine, or you're a guy wondering if your girl might want to become a little bit like me, so I thought that maybe reading about my "journey into submission" might be interesting. I also want to share my feelings about it, and maybe even my feelings about my feelings, LOL.
Just so you know, I might come off sounding a little defensive because I'm still kind of embarrassed about what I let my husband do to me... and even more embarrassed about how it makes me feel.
I guess I'll start by describing myself. I'm 26-year-old white girl, about 5'4" and 124 lbs., and I wear a 32A bra size. I've got short blonde hair in a pixie cut and some freckles across my face. Your all-American girl next door, right? My body is not muscular but it's well-toned because I love to swim, and I was a varsity swimmer in school.
I was 21 when I first had sex. I was only with a couple of guys before I met John, but I can remember having a feeling of submissiveness with the first man I slept with. He was tall, a little over six feet, and when I spread my legs and he mounted me missionary-style I suddenly felt trapped underneath him. Now, that sounds like it should have been a bad feeling, but the funny thing is it was a
good
feeling! And I can explain why.
Feeling trapped under his body made me feel helpless to stop him from penetrating me, which I knew he was going to do in a matter of seconds. I said to myself, in these very words, "I am going to be fucked, and there's nothing I can do about it." And saying those words in my head sent a little electric charge right through me and cranked my sexual heat up to 11.
Ever since then I've enjoyed the missionary position the most, and fortunately my wonderful husband always has too. There's just something thrilling to me about being pinned down underneath a body larger than mine, his hips pressing down on me between my spread legs, feeling the head of his hard cock first touch my cunt and knowing that cock is about to enter me and there's no escaping from it.
You might have thought I sound kind of cute from my description, but I must tell you John is the real looker between the two of us. He's about six feet tall with a swimmer's build like me. He's usually clean-shaven and has dark brown eyes with jet black hair that's a little shaggy over the ears and combed straight back. Not much body hair. Think Keanu Reeves! And what straight girl wouldn't want to be pinned underneath Keanu Reeves, ha ha.
Maybe it has something to do with Catholic guilt, I really don't know where it comes from and to tell you the truth, I don't care... I just love feeling like I'm going to be fucked whether I want to or not. I wouldn't call it a rape fantasy, to me the word rape suggests a violent attack that I'd be resisting and that doesn't excite me in the same way. For me it's much more arousing to offer no resistance, telling myself that I've given up control of my own body and that is that, I can't change it... my fate is sealed.
And these feelings only grow more intense
while
I'm being fucked. I guess this will sound like I can be a dead fish but sometimes I used to just lie there as John took me. Of course, it felt good, but as he was jacking in and out of me and starting to get close to cumming I'd get super turned on thinking how it's too late to stop him from exploding inside me and filling my impaled body with his warm semen. Once again... my fate was sealed. Now my fate was to be his
receptacle
.
Sometimes I even liked to imagine that I was being forced to
breed
, I mean how weird is that? I'd think in my mind, "Oh God please don't cum in me, please don't make a baby in me!" Well, I'm on the pill for the time being, but I look forward to when the time is right for us to have kids and I can feel that little fantasy more intensely. And I used to think how hot it would be if I could say things like that and other stuff out loud while he ignored me and kept on thrusting until he came.
Another reason I came to realize I was submissive in nature was how much it excited me thinking that John was just
using
my body for his own pleasure and
taking
pleasure from my body, kind of in a selfish way. When he was fucking me hard and moaning loudly, I'd go into "subspace" where I'd start to feel like a human Fleshlight! It's like nothing about me mattered to him except for my cunt. And I know it sounds weird, but I just love that feeling.
Now, both of us really like a lot of foreplay. From the very beginning of our marriage we always spent time going down on each other before we fucked so we were both good and ready. But sometimes when I was sucking his cock, I would imagine that it wasn't my choice to do it, that I was instead being
made
to do it. I know that sounds weird, like why would I not want to suck his cock?
And the most embarrassing thing for me to share with you is that I used to wonder sometimes what it would be like if John actually took pleasure in hurting me a little. And it scared me some, because thinking about that gave me butterflies in my stomach and this made me realize I had some serious kink going on.
Don't get me wrong, my husband is a wonderfully considerate man who loves to give me pleasure! He enjoys eating me out and of course I love it too, and he's happy when he makes me cum. But I can get really hot even if he's not doing anything to stimulate me just because he's using my body to get himself off. And he's come up with a lot of ways to use it! Maybe not all of them would sound like much fun to a lot of girls, but I can't help it... if what he's doing to me is turning him on it usually turns me on too.
But I'm getting a little ahead of myself, I want to tell you about one special Friday night when John was fucking me. We were both on fire, lost in the moment and moaning together as he drilled me harder and faster, and when his lips touched mine, I opened my mouth to him as I always do... I love feeling like he is fucking my mouth with his tongue while his cock fucks my cunt. But when I reached up with my hands to caress his face, he took hold of my wrists and drew my arms up and apart, pinning my wrists down above my head. And it was like I was hit by a bolt of lightning!
I had never felt so immobilized before and it felt incredible... and immediately, almost
instinctively
, I began to imagine that the hands holding my wrists in place were rope. And an instant later I was imagining what it would feel like if there were ropes around my ankles as well, holding my legs spread apart for John to fuck me deep and hard for as long as he wanted to. And I know I must sound naive when I say this, but I had honestly never thought about bondage until that moment.
I gasped in pleasure while his cries grew louder and he pushed into me even harder, and seconds later he was shooting a huge load of semen into me, his cock jerking inside me over and over right at the same time as I was cumming myself. I had never felt so helpless, and OMG it was good.
When his cock finally stopped spasming he pushed his upper body up, his strong arms still holding my wrists down while he kept his hard cock perfectly still inside me. He looked down at me with a big smile and said, "God Linda, that was the best fuck ever."
"Oh... me too," I said, still panting from my orgasm. And then came a moment that changed everything. I was in the most amazing state of bliss with his body on top of me, his strong hands still holding my wrists and his still-hard cock inside me, and as I looked up at him some words just burst out of my mouth.
"You can do anything you want to me," I said to him, with no thought about what it might lead to -- it was just what I felt at my core.