The next Tuesday morning, while I was at work, Patty texted me to ask me if I would like to hang out at her place that evening, since Ben would be gone all night, gaming with a friend. I happily agreed, of course.
I was loving being Patty's Perv. Even at work, sitting at my desk, surrounded by my coworkers, my chastity cage was a constant reminder of me being her sub. I looked around while sitting at my desk and saw all my coworkers go about their business. Only I knew I had a sexy secret. My cock was owned by my best friend, who was a Domme. I loved my secret, but I was glad it was a secret. I would feel totally ashamed if they knew the truth.
"Hey sweetie," Patty said as she let me in that evening, just before she kissed my cheek. Her voice sounded a little flat.
I followed her into the kitchen where she had started preparations for our meal. There was a pot of pasta on the stove and she was cutting vegetables. I took a cutting board and took a knife from the block and started to help her.
Patty seemed quiet.
"How was your day?" I asked her, looking at her while she was cutting an onion.
"Yuck, it was horrible," she said. "You know those days were everything goes wrong? Well, it was definitely one of those days. I ruined a keyboard by spilling noodles all over it and when I left work I even scratched my car in the parking garage. Hit a huge pole. I knew it was there and I could clearly see it and I still managed to scratch it. And my period is still going too." The union she was cutting slipped off the board and fell onto the floor. Patty put her hands against her temples and went: "Aaaahhhrrrggg!!!"
I smiled lovingly at her as I put the knife down. I stepped towards her and wrapped my arms around her. She put her head against my shoulder and took a deep breath while wrapping her arms around my waist.
"I'm just so sick of everything sometimes," she said while I held her. "I'm working my ass off and do most of the work around the house while Ben just sits around playing video games most of the time. I pay most of the bills and he hardly even works. And even then I have to do all of the cooking because he just can't and when I ask him, no, tell him that he won't get anything to eat unless he makes us dinner himself he just orders pizza or puts something in the microwave. I really feel like he's just a spoiled little kid sometimes and I'm sick of it."
She clearly was pretty fed up with it all and offering my opinion surely wouldn't help, so I just held her for a minute.
"You know what, why don't you just go sit down?" I said as I kissed her forehead. "I'll bring you a glass of wine and finish cooking."
"Would you?" she asked.
"Of course. I love taking care of you. You don't always have to order me to do that."
She chuckled. "As much as I hate telling Ben what to do all the time, I love ordering your ass around," she said as she let me go. Then she kissed my cheek and said: "You are the sweetest," before heading to the living room.
When I had finished cooking I took two servings on deep plates to the living room. I handed Patty a plate and sat next to her on the couch.
"Aw, thanks sweetie," she said as I handed her the plate. "I'm starving."
"Careful though, it's hot."
We watched TV together while silently eating our food.
"How was your day?" she asked me as he was halfway through her plate.
"It was alright," I said. I took another bite before I said: "I realized today at work that I love having a sexy secret."
"What's that, your cage?" she said with her mouth full.
I nodded. "Yes. And that my best friend determines what I do or don't do with my cock. All the secrets that come with being Patty's Perv, really. Doing all kinds of taboo things I love doing but of which I'd hate it if anyone would know."
Patty chuckled before she put another spoon full in her mouth. "Would it really be so bad if someone would know find out though?" she asked after swallowing her food.
"Hell yeah," I said. "I wouldn't know how to show myself at work if people knew. I'd just die of shame or something I guess."
"Why?" Patty asked, before eating her final bite of her pasta. She sure had been hungry.
That was actually a good question, I thought, since I didn't have an answer ready. So I thought about it before answering: "I don't know. I guess I'd feel like people would see me as being inferior or something. A lesser man."
Patty put her elbow on the back of the couch and leaned her head against her hand, looking at me for a moment while I finished my plate.
"Is that why you looked away from Ben when I told you to thank him for his cum the other day?" she asked.
I felt myself blush when she mentioned that moment.
"Yeah," I said softly.
She stared at me again a for a couple of moments, a loving smile playing around her lips.
"You know, I just realized something," she said. "Or you made me realize it actually. I think there is a profound difference between embarrassment and shame."
I let that sink in for a second.
Then she continued: "I love embarrassing you. I love the look in your eyes and the way it makes you blush and stammer and I know you like it too, because you always get turned on when I do that. But I don't like it when I see shame in your eyes. I really don't want you to be ashamed."
She really touched something inside of me by saying that. And it made me think.
"So, why the shame?" she asked me. "Are you really that ashamed of who you are and what you like?"
I just looked at her, feeling confused for a second, still thinking it was normal to feel ashamed of being a sub and trying coming up with an real answer, other than 'it's normal to be ashamed of being a sub', to her question.
"For instance, why do you feel ashamed towards Ben?" she asked.
"I don't know. It's like when I do those kinds of things I truly am a lesser man than he is. Like I would be truly inferior and he would know that. And that hurts."
"Are you really inferior though?" she asked.
"Well, yeah. He is handsome and well built. And I don't think he would ever lower himself to a point where he would let you fuck his ass or eat another man's cum." I left out the part where it was obvious that he is man enough to get to kiss and fuck Patty while I wasn't.
She studied my face for a moment. Then she said: "Conrad, please don't see yourself as a lesser man than he is. I love him, but he's a scared little kid in a lot of ways and so are a lot of men I know. You on the other hand are one of the bravest men I've ever met. Don't you realize how much guts a guy has to have to submit to a woman? To put on a chastity cage and give her the keys? To follow her embarrassing orders? To eat another man's cum after being fucked in the ass?"
Her saying that made a huge difference for me. Her saying that and the look of pure respect in her eyes while she said it made it very real. I believed her without a doubt and I had never realized she saw me that way. I got goosebumps as felt my heart open. And then I realized that her looking at it like that, her true and deep respect for a perverted sub like me, is what made her a real Domme. To me at least, in that moment.
I swallowed and looked at her flabbergasted for a few seconds.
"So, no more shame please," she said. "Just be proud of your strength and courage." Then she handed me her plate and said: "And now go strip and clean up, you little pervert. Mommy needs a foot rub."
I took my clothes off in the hallway and put on the Patty's Perv collar and matching cuffs. Then I quickly cleaned up the kitchen and put the dishes in the dishwasher.
When I returned to the living room I was expecting Patty with bare feet waiting for a foot rub, but she wasn't even there. A few moments later she entered. She had changed clothes from her formal looking work outfit to jeans and a loose T-shirt. Normally when she changed after work she just put on sweatpants, but this time it was immediately clear to me why she chose her tight jeans over the baggy sweatpants: from her groin protruded the dildo of the strap on. She grinned at me with her twinkling eyes when she noticed I saw it.
"Go sit over there," she said, pointing at a spot on the floor.
I got off from the couch, staring at the fully clothed girl next door with the large dick, and sat down on the floor.
"No Conrad," she said with her eye rolling voice. "On you knees."
And so I got on my knees.
Then she just stood there, about ten feet away from me, her arms crossed below her small boobs, looking at me. It took a while before she asked: "What do you see when you look at me right now?"
"Well, I see you. I see Patty, my Domme," I said. "And you're wearing your dick."
"No, I mean, what do you feel?"
I focuses my attention inward for a second before I said: "I'm nervous in a way, more excited than nervous maybe. And I feel like I want to make you happy by doing whatever you are going to tell me to do."
"And what do you feel if you look at my dick?"
I looked at it, but couldn't put words to my feelings yet.
"Do you want to suck it?" she asked.
"Yes, if you want me to, I will," I said.
"No, for now, this time at least, it's not about what I want. I want to know what you want. Do you want to suck it? Do you want to suck it just because you like it, without me ordering you? You are allowed to say no if that's the truth. Just tell the truth. I won't judge you."
I searched my feelings and found that I did want to suck it. And as soon as I acknowledged that feeling, I started blushing. I felt ashamed to want it, but I wanted it. So I said, truthfully: "Yes."
