Harriet Deane was a shy girl. She often found herself frustrated that her peers could force her into uncomfortable social situations, and if she reacted in an introvert manner or her face went pink she would be treated as unsociable. Why should they get angry that she didn't want to talk to strangers, or play 'truth or dare?'. Why couldn't they just leave her be?
She would be fine to remain in her circle of friends, to stay in her comfort zone, to meet a boy that would allow her to move as slow or as fast as she wanted, then everyone would be happy.
Unfortunately throughout her time at Ridgemont School she was surrounded by people who might as well have held a knife to her throat and exclaimed: "Confidence or death!"
She spent much of her time dreaming of the age where everyone just accepted each other, but even in her final year nothing had changed.
It was hard enough, being a teenage girl; she was lonely and depressed at times, yet at other times full of joy and content with her environment.
Having a poor self-image, Harriet exercised regularly and thoroughly, barely ate and still hated her appearance – her sickly white skin. Just looking at herself in the mirror every morning made her blood boil, how other girls had been graced with both confidence and beauty.
This however not the case, as many boys her age would argue. Harriet had pale skin, and was lightly freckled. Her hair was often straight, black hair flowing half way down her chest, and she often curled her hair for special occasions. Her eyes were a vivid green, and her smile was both challenging and friendly.
She was quite short, at around 5'4" and had a small build. Her boobs were proportionate to her size, but she never came across as flat-chested. Those who have known her cannot explain why she is attractive, through her personality and actions she comes across as interesting.
*
A few days after her eighteenth birthday, she was almost dragged to Glamr, a local club in her town on Saturday night. She had spent hours perfecting her look, and after still not being happy with it she left for the club. Once she got there, amongst the crowds of people, the dim light and the huge noise from the stage she became more comfortable and began to enjoy herself.
Unfortunately, even her friends would go to desperate measures to give her a confidence boost. Harriet could tell they were planning something, as they whispered to one another and scanned the area. Eventually Danni grabbed her arm and started marching with her to the bar. Harriet was unfazed at first, before she veered to her left and seemed to be walking towards a small group of college guys.
Harriet immediately stopped and pulled away, her eyes wide "No way are you setting me up tonight!" "Oh come on! Danni pleaded, how good would it be if you get on with one of them? Huh?"
"Shut up. You know I don't like meeting people I don't know, it's weird." At this point one of her friends interjected, "Do you really want to be the last fucking virgin at Ridgemont?" Alice asked, looking like she was physically disgusted with her.
"No, but - ," she was cut off as Alice firmly took her arm and despite Harriet's complaints, brought her to the group.
Harriet found Alice's expression remarkable as it changed from utter contempt to an innocent and captivating stare. She always made Harriet feel inferior, so beautiful and careless, and so confident. Alice stood with her arm still loosely holding hers, smiling as she began a conversation with the four. Harriet listened to every word, but still couldn't figure out how she was talking with no prior knowledge of these people to work with, and it was never boring and never felt out of place. She was so good that Harriet could barely recall what she had said afterwards, other than establishing a connection with them and then introducing the birthday girl.
As they continued, Harriet providing as little input as possible, she noticed that three of the boys were looking with interest at Alice, nodding and taking an occasional sip of their drinks; but one seemed to spend most of his time evidently staring at Harriet, with a handsome smile.
Throughout the evening he glanced at her frequently, and when their eyes met he smiled and looked away momentarily in embarrassment before looking back again. At one point when the group moved to the bar to get another round in, Harriet and the mysterious college boy were left facing eachother, and he took the opportunity to spark conversation.
He was a master, he managed to talk in a completely non-threatening tone, and edgy questions and flirty remarks were acceptable because of this friendly demeanour. They decided to go outside for fresh air and the ability to hear what was being said, and found themselves alone in the smoking area, a recent stink of cigarettes putting aside the fresh air idea.
They talked for over ten minutes, and it was surprising to everyone including Harriet that she was getting along so well with him. He told her of how he planned to retake his Art & Design course the following year so he could continue his studies at a better university. She told him of her impending English coursework, her doubts and nerves even though she had aced the last few essay questions in class.
The conversation slowed, and the pauses were suddenly longer and appeared more often, she became very aware of her breathing at this point. He took a few small steps towards her, and she was sure her expression was of a startled deer caught in the headlights of an incoming car. Her heart beat faster as he lifted his hand to her cheek. His hand felt soft against her and she had been holding her breath for some time now. His head moved closer. His knowing eyes closed slowly as he advanced the final inches. Her heart beat against her ribs, she could hear it. He kissed her.
He was slow and delicate at first, and there was such relief to release her stress so simply. His hand stroked down her back and he began to stroke and grab her ass. This less than subtle move didn't feel great, and reminded Harriet that not everything would be perfect, and not to expect a faultless man on her first try. What was sensual and relaxing became unnaturally fast and sloppy rather quickly.
He pushed into her more, so that the cold stone wall of the balcony was forced against her back uncomfortably. His lips rushed around hers, as if in a hurry to get it done quickly, and his tongue clumsily licked at her lips, his saliva dripping down Harriet's chin.
Harriet wanted to take control and push him away, and for him to return with romance rather than foolish lust. But she was too timid and tried to convince herself that he would back off soon.
Panic struck her as his hand slid to the bottom of her skirt, and he reached upwards, and Harriet started to realise that she couldn't physically stop him from doing whatever he wanted, and he could rape her then and there. "Stop." She tried to say boldly, "I'm not enjoying this Mark, get away," she whimpered.
His fingers continued their climb up her leg to her panties as she trembled with fear. His index finger reached its goal but he kept it there, lightly prodding the silk against her mound. He had stopped pushing her against the wall, but held her in place firmly.
He stared into her eyes, with an incredulous look. "You little...tease," He spat, still poking her, "Don't pretend this isn't what you want, what you came out here for..." She was crying openly now, and just shook her head. He withdrew his hand and released her, and she collapsed to the floor. She gasped for air and wiped the tears away from her face, when she pulled herself up he was gone.
Harriet left in a hurry, keeping her head low and avoiding eye contact with anyone, as her smudged make-up and red eyes gained unwanted attention. As she left she ignored consolation from Danni, and thought in her desperation that she would never find anyone to give her what she wanted, and that maybe she deserved what had happened to her, maybe she should just submit to a man because she is worthless. She didn't say any of these thoughts aloud, and only explained what happened to Danni only briefly on the way back to the car.
Danni drove a silent car for fifteen minutes, before Alice cleared her throat and turned to Harriet , "Seriously, I'm doing this for your own good, you need to break out of this frigid little thing you've got going on here -", Danni interrupted in an authoritative voice "Alice! Leave it out."
They argued for a further few minutes before Harriet spoke over them both and asked "What do you mean you're doing this for my own good? What did you do, Alice?"
