Georges equipment attracts the attention of Prostitutes and Nuns and then he is persuaded to make a left handed version.
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Ada Monckton was a woman to be feared, a colossus of womanhood only five feet tall but reputedly twenty stone, and as leader of the Gateshead and Heaton branch of the Pubic Sector Workers Union her wrath was legendary.
Woe betide the Gentleman who failed to pay the agreed rate for services of a carnal nature, or who abused in some way not previously agreed any union member and woe betide the loose woman taking up the trade of prostitute to the detriment of paid up Union members.
Fat and ugly she may have been but within her thick balding disease raddled skull lived one of the weakest intellects ever found on Tyneside, coupled with a mule like stubbornness and a vocabulary which would make a Fishwife blush, she got prostitutes a bad name
Ada led the march, up the muddy road to George Stephensons works, "Smash the Fucking Machines" the posters were supposed to say but "Smas the Fukklink Massings" was one of the more legible attempts.
George Stephenson was woken by Ernie Higglethwaite sounding Scramsby Main Colliery Hooter as women passed and he peered from the window to see the procession still a mile away.
"Best get up lass" he urged his new wife Fanny.
"Geordie, I haven't had my fuck yet, come back to bed" she replied.
"No Lass its prostitutes, they are revolting"
"Yes and diseased " she agreed sleepily.
"No lass protesting, that gurt fat Monckton tart, coming this way"
George rushed to the workshop where he found one of his Class b double acting six inch stroke twenty five p.s.i Steam Fucking machines still in steam simmering from the previous night, when the Vicar's wife had tested it, he pumped the bellows and added some small lumps of coal and he watched qas the steam pressure rose.
He strode out to meet the protesters, "There he is, he wants to ruin us girls," Ada bellowed.
"Shut yer fat face Ada, Fucking Machine could never replace you, they cost two thousand guineas and you charge two pennies."
Ada struggled with the figures.
"Three on Saturday nights," she corrected.
"Tell thee what, come in and see one and, yes bring that girl with no shoes on with thee and then see if I am talking bollocks, meanwhile there must be some ale about somewhere, I'll get Bessie to find some."
Ada was surprised, she realised she did not actually know what a Fucking machine did but she earned her money fucking, well from Union Subs actually, and so it was a threat to her wages.
Ada walked slowly through the workshop door.
"This is it, now I'll pay sixpence if this charming young lady will allow me to demonstrate." George stated as Ada interupted.
"Two pennies, Union rate is Two Pennies."
"All right two pennies, now take your knickers off and sit down here."
"I can't sir" whined the girl.
"Why not?" he queried.
"I ain't got no knickers sir"
"Just sit then, now this goes up yer, you know inside."
"Please sir I just takes money and run away, I never done that sir"
"You evil girl" Ada clouted her heavily with her huge fist, "Them like you gets whores a bad name"
Ada grabbed the brass fitting and thrust it brutally inside the girls privates.
"Eh lass are you all reet?" George asked with concern.
"Course she is, like a pig in muck, gerron we it" Ada cooed charmingly.
George connected the connecting rod to the flywheel, turned it through two full turns to check all was well and strapped the girls feet to the machine.
"Turn that valve Ada, while I turn flywheel", George ordered he turned the flywheel, Ada turned the valve and it started, Hiiisss, Pock Hiiss, Pock, Hiss, Pock, Hiss.Pock
"Aaahhh, OOOh, eeeehhh, Oh its lovely Mr Stephenson, You must try it Mrs Monckton, Oooh," The girl was enjoying herself and getting paid at same time.
"So how do it fuck men?" Ada asked.
"It don't Ada, it's for women" George explained
"Bugger we come for nothing," Ada realised.
"You can have a go if thee wants, I got twenty here all told so if we gets them all going you lot can take turns" George suggested.
"They need one of these at the nunnery" the girl announced as George stopped the machine to let her off,
"My sister is always getting a busted off candle stuck up her since she became a nun" she continued.
"Yer a bright girl, how about you join team as sales lass, do demonstrating and that?" George sugested.
"Hey, Stephenson, I paid her mam eighteen shillings and six for her," Howled Ada.
"Here have a Guinea," George tossed her a small coin,
"Now gee us hand with machines." he continued.
"Am I got job then mister?" the girl asked.
"Yes lass, what yer called," George enquired.
"Bloody Kid usually." she replied.
"I'll call you Nicola on account you got no knickers, Knickerless get it?"
She shot him a glance that could have killed at twenty paces.
The activity in the yard became frenzied, the desultory interest in the steam cuntraptions changed to excitement and impatience to try the machines as one by one they were brought out and brought to the boil, ready for use.
The Vicar wife sought out Ada.
"How much is subs for union?" she enquired.
"Fuck off you're Vicar's wife, not Tart." suggested Ada.
"I want job as tester" she explained,
"Ten Shillings." said Ada grumpily.
"I can't afford that."
George heard, and handed her a Guinea.
"Have two years"
"Years be buggered, that were life membership," trilled Ada.
George worked late into the night, borrowing farm carts to take the exhausted women home and that night all around Tyneside men despaired of finding a street woman and reluctantly took pleasure with their wives, leading to a sudden surge in Baptisms ten months later.
