Mr Glodstones Ordeal

"Don't look, Taffy, but Mister Glodstone is right there."

"Yeah, he has been real weird today, he turns beet red whenever he passes our office."

"Yeah. He is the sweetest boss, and I think he always had a crush on me, but something happened last night and I think it's freaked us both out, Taffy."

"What happened, Addisyn? You can tell me."

"Like you won't spread it around."

"No, no, I've gotten better. Take a lock, really."

"Well, I know you've met Mr. Glodstone's bitchy wife Carmel."

"Right. She has a bad dye job. Sometimes she comes in to see Mr. Glodstone and they go in his office, and I think I hear her HITTING him. Sometimes she comes out, stalking off and laughing, and he's crying."

"That's horrible. I didn't know that."

"Well I looked in once, and he was sitting with his face in his hands. But what happened last night, Addisyn?"

"Well, I dropped by his house. He asked me to bring the Linton files over, and I live kind of in the same neighborhood. Of course they have a huge Colonial house, and I live in that shitty little apartment with Mom."

"Right, and what happened, was there a scene with Carmel or something?"

"Well it was weird, Taffy. Carmel asked me to stay for a bit and have some mineral water, and then she called Mr. Glodstone into the living room and told me that he hadn't had any sexual relief in a while."

"Seriously?"

"Yes, and he was all embarrassed and kept asking her to shut up. He's the nicest guy, Mr. Glodstone, although he's a little wimpy."

"Yup. Mr.Glodstone makes a hamster seem like John Wayne."

(Giggle) "Yes. Well, Carmel told Mr. Glodstone that he had to take off all his clothes in front of me, if he wanted any relief that month. It was real weird. I wanted to get up and go, but I guess--"

"You were too curious."

"Yeah, and later Mr. Glodstone gave me a huge tip for putting up with it all, you know, so I wouldn't sue for harassment."

"Jesus."

"Yeah. So Mr. Glodstone was pleading with Carmel and oh, Taffy, he was crying and sobbing and shit, and Carmel went 'Okay, we'll wait until next month for you to have some relief.' I felt sorry for him."

"I can imagine."

"I almost was going to say, I'll fuck him if you aren't putting out, lady."

"Yeah, but he's kind of clammy, Addisyn."

"I know. Well, finally, as he's sobbing, he begins taking off his clothes with a real apologetic look at me, and the he's naked except for this little metal thing on his dick."

"You mean a chastity belt."

"You know about those? Taffy you are a perv."

"You have to get Netflix, Addisyn. The shit you learn about. Yeah, so he can't play with himself or fool around with anybody."

"So right. Then she told him she'd changed her mind, and wasn't going to give him any relief, and he began pleading with her, since really, he'd already embarrassed himself in front of me."

"Did she give him the key? I know there's always a key."

"Yeah. I think Carmel hates me because I'm sort of attractive and I guess Mr. Glodstone always thought I was pretty, and maybe he was kind of deferential to me, and Carmel isn't exactly an oil painting."

"That's an understatement, Addisyn."

"She looked at me and said 'My husband has always enjoyed being the top dog in the office, but I don't want you to have the illusion that he's any kind of Alpha male."

"God that woman is so fucking weird. Like what the hell?"

"Oh, I know. She's a real ball cutter. She started telling me that Mr.Glodstone was a worm, and I had to accept that, and not to take any shit from him at work."

"Son of a bitch. That is weird. I mean, I guess I'm kind of a feminist but--"

"Yeah. But I think a lot of it is jealousy. I mean, Carmel is kind of flat chested, and Mr.Glodstone is always staring at my--"

"Oh yes, he is. Most of the office does."

"Oh shut up. Anyway, finally she gives him this little key and he unlocks the belt and puts it on the coffee table.

"Oh God. So then he was naked?"

"It was so creepy. He was wearing toenail polish, and his dick was kind of small, but it got real stiff in front of me, even though he kept looking kind of shamefacedly at me."

"Right. He was probably getting off on the humiliation of it all a little bit."

"But it gets so much weirder. He grabs his dick and begins pulling, and Carmel jumps up and tells him she didn't give him permission to start diddling himself."

"God, I wish I'd been there for this. I love sick shit."

"Wish it'd been you instead of me, Taffy. Then she takes this little riding crop off the mantle, it looked like the kind they had at the stables when I took horseback riding."

"One of those."

"Yeah, my instructor said never actually hit a horse with it, it's abusive,.

"Oh it is, Addisyn"

"Yeah but Carmel had no problem with whacking Mr. Glodstone's Willy, teaching him not to touch his wiener without permission."

"Goddamn, you should write a book, Addisyn."

"Shut up. Anyhow, finally she told Mr. Glodstone to kneel on the floor and let him start jerking his little dick, but told him to go real slow.

She told him that if he came too fast she would have ME wear a strap-on dildo and RAPE him."

"This is so much more interesting than hearing about your Zumba classes."

"Uh huh. Then she starts commenting on how small his dick is, too. She tells me that she is carrying on with the neighbor, and with their son's Geometry teacher."

"God, really?"

"And the neighbor is a man, and the teacher is a woman. Carmel is incredibly kinky."

"And Mr. Glodstone is just beating his meat?"

"Yeah, but these big tears are rolling down his cheeks, he looks miserable but his dick is really, really hard. He's kind of staring at my tits.

"I know that. You were wearing your white dress white dress."

"Yeah, and he stared at them, except when he catches my eye, and then it's like something dies inside him."

"What finally happened?"

"Well, he was about to finish, and then Carmel says, "Fuck you , you can't cum this month because you forgot to trim the hedges." and she made him lock up again."

"Oh, that's a shame ( Giggle)"

"Yeah, she said that ordinarily she would let him squirt it out and then lick it off the floor. She said I can come see him do that next month."

"Right. Are you--"

"Looking for a new job? You bet your ass, Taffy."