I have always been quite the proper girl, doing what I was told was right. Some called me a goody-goody and that was all right by me.
I studied hard in college and made it into my chosen profession. I earned my sucess by working hard.
I am pleasant looking, not stunning, but okay. I find boys difficult. I like them, but I want to be pure, and, well, don't want to do things that just aren't right.
I want to talk about things that enhance our lives and they want just to kiss and do other things. I like a good kiss, and some of those other things will just have to wait.
I feel like the boys are so big and powerful. It is scary. I am just a bit over five foot tall, so I needed to find a way to protect myself.
In my psychology classes, they talked about male and female dynamics. So I did some research. I clicked on my computer and when I typed in male female dynamics, I found a lot of information on power exchange.
Whoa boy, it was interesting. Have you ever looked at those sites. I never squirmed in my seat so much!
I like the idea of being in control. I am smart. And it helps me feel secure.
This boy, John, had been calling me. He is big and powerful, but nice. I think he is so cute, too! He did seem to have a lot of girls that liked him and that bothered me. He did seem like some of those boys I read about on the sites that liked to be controlled.
So, I thought it would be fun to try something.
He called and asked if he could take me to a dinner and a show. I smiled to myself and said okay, if I pick the place and drove. I think it bothered him a little that I wanted to drive, but I was flirty and he agreed.
I bought one of those chastity devices they had online that adjusted to sizes. I was so nervous buying the thing, my hands became sweaty. I must say it appealed to me though. They make them clear and rather cute. I looked at the lock and it looked noisy so I got another one.
The night of the date I made myself up a little sexy and wore my black dress and 2 inch heels (that is high for me and anything higher makes my feet sore) I think of myself as classy, so I wore a rather professional perfume and I like clear nail polish.
So I go and pick up John. He is dressed nice, but no tie. I tell him to go and get a nice tie for me. He does that well. And I tell him we need to go.
He wants to give me a kiss. I smile, put my finger lightly on his lips, and say "Not now."
We go the car and he opens his door. Boys are not gentlemen anymore! I say,
"John, you haven't opened my door." I a somewhat stern voice. I have to say I had to force that sternness out. And I am clutching my purse because of what I had put in it. I am so nervous about that. He does come and open the door for me like a gentleman, so I feel he is being compliant. He mutters, "I am sorry, Jill" so I know I will have to work on the attitude.