Miss FLR - Looking for a Dominant Woman
--- My stories tend to start slowly before getting to the sex. This one starts with simple power exchange and grows to full blown TPE in a FLR marriage. ---------------------------------------------------------------
Came out of the mid-life crisis. 44, divorced, tired of 60+ hour workweeks, lonely, getting sex with my right hand and the occasional pro. Spent a lot of time in therapy and doing personal introspection. Therapist was an older woman and is great. Main point I learned was to break away from my upbringing and learned behaviors. "You had a shame based upbringing. Think about how you are stuck on doing what you were taught, instead of what makes you happy. Modern good women pick up on these things and pass you by. They do not want the old stereotype men and relationships."
She certainly nailed that last part. I'm pretty good looking, slender runners body. Have always treated women respectfully and as equals. My projection of strength, politeness, and acceptance seemed to get me swarmed by the unstable girls with problems, worse than my shortcomings. Didn't help that when I was younger was shy. Very shy around the string stable women I really wanted. Ended up dating the girls who came after me.
The Ex. We met when I was 22 and she was 18. While working on my masters degree had the overnight assistant manager job at a 24x7 big box store. Carrie was in the usual group of summer HS kids. A short cute dark eyed girl with a curvy figure. Smart and a hard worker. Great employee she made my work life easier. Most kids were lazy Gen X idiots (I know I sound like my parents).
It was the mid 90s, knew I had to be careful at work around women. Mandatory company training made it sound like a guy would go to jail just for looking at a girl. They had scared the shit out of me. So missed all the signals she was sending. That and I cannot read women at all.
Store had a big aisle transform late that summer. An extra crew came in to move/change the shelves and displays. Carrie was my right hand. We had to move the stock around while the work crew rearranged things. Long bitch of a night. In the AM I bought my workers their preferred reward. Ice cream, candy, drinks etc.
Carrie hung till they had all left and we walked out to our cars together. Grateful for her help I told her she did a great job. And suggested I could help her get a full time position in the fall and then into the manager trainee program. She was not going to college.
"Thanks again Carrie. Have a good days rest. I owe you big."
"Dinner tonight my treat. And you'll get lucky." Her huge smile and piercing look gave me an erection. Was dizzy.
"Uh Carrie that's nice but you know the store rules." She put a fake pout on her face.
"Ok. Three more weeks. Quitting then anyway. I'll take you out, blow you, and fuck your brains out." Jumped in her car grinning, waved, and drove off.
The date happened 3 weeks and a day later. Never masturbated more than those weeks. Rubbed one out just before going to pick her up. Feared being hard the whole time.
"Hey Lucas." She jumped in the car leaned over and gave me a big wet kiss. Her tongue explored. Damn was already hard.
Whispered in my ear. "Can't wait to blow you." Proceeded to give me directions. Just a few blocks from her house the street dead ended into the back of a park.
"Our make out spot. Nobody comes here till late." Kissed me again as she unzipped my pants. I flinched big cause had not told her my secret. Am quite small. So much several girls had laughed at first seeing it.
Carrie went down. No reaction to my size. Blow job was better than the local cheap pros I went to. Couldn't have been more than three minutes and I blew my load. She popped up with that big grin and licked her lips like she was shooting a porno. After dinner back at my place fucked her three time. Second date the next night got 3 blow jobs. Then she had me fuck her up the ass. She preferred it that way!
We were married that fall. Honeymoon just a long weekend drive through New England. Every day started with straight fucks. She wanted a baby.
Most guys would have been in dream land. First few years I was. Constant sex was incredible. Carrie was clear kink was desired. She was submissive and wanted light BDSM. Spanking and when she was horny tied her face down and fucked her ass. Even our first daughter arriving the next summer didn't slow things down.
After a year and newborn, Carrie's issues started to dawn on me. Very passive aggressive. I was the man and in charge, which she loved. As long she got what she wanted. When she didn't I got an ear full. In a minute she would go from calm to an emotional meltdown. The incredible sex did not make up for the turmoil and emotional abuse. She would go into days of depression. Those times she demanded harder spankings. Asked for whips and canes which I refused.
By year 3 we had a second daughter and my new career was taking off. Hired after my masters to be a junior trader on Wall Street. Hours were killer. But by then was happy to not be at home too much. My close friends called it the Carrie roller coaster.
Stuck with her for the girls. My family and hers demanded lifetime marriages. I have a long lost aunt who was shunned just for getting a divorce. My decision was to wait till my girls were in college to pull the plug.
Skip forward. Divorce at the age of 44 was the worst year imaginable. Ballistic Carrie, daughters hysterical, both families pounding on me. But I made it. The girls both calmed down. Youngest even supported me emotionally. Totally aware of her mother's shortcomings. Everybody else in the families cut me off.
Lonely and depressed finally decided to get help. Tried a counselor but he quickly determined I needed therapy. Therapist saved me. 2 sessions a weeks. Took months for me to get back to average. Janet is very open and accepting. Not only gave me mechanisms to deal with things better but got me thinking of what would make me happy. And, to my shock, encouraged me to get a sugar baby.
"Get sex regularly and get social again. You can afford it." She helped me look through ads on a couple of sugar dating sites. Met quite a few young women, mostly college students or young professionals starting out. Janet advised hiring two of the women. A law student and an artist. Both were open to women.
"They can share you and you'll get a monthly threesome." Carrie had wanted to fuck girls together but I never took her up on it.
"Uh Janet one thing I did not tell you. Um ah... I'm sorta small."
"Lucas. You've been with me months now. I knew that by your third session. You project it because you are ashamed. Here's a secret. The bigger your checkbook, the bigger your dick is."
Followed her advice. Both women accepted. Had dates every weekend. They switched off. One night each month was a threesome. Janet was so right. My dick size made no difference. Toward the end of the year the artist told me she liked smaller dicks. Easier to take and those guys were usually gentler and grateful for sex.
Life became calm and good. Still ached for my oldest daughter. But could let Carrie's nasty, manic missives bounce off me. Implied I'd stop the money train if she didn't back off.
Revelation. I wanted a woman to take charge. Janet clued me in that if the woman was in charge my fear of Carrie like passive aggressive would dissipate. As we explored this she helped me open up to my submissive desires. Emotional and sexual. Had repressed them.
"Lucas you want a woman to be what your mother wasn't. Accept your nature. Take charge. Make you feel loved and safe. You feel sexually inadequate despite your great sex life. Most guys would envy what you got from Carrie. Now you have two attractive young women fuck you. But your small penis and social 'norms' denies you enjoyment from sex."
She gave me research assignments. A huge list of links and sites to explore. Several of the sites had lifestyle and sexual profile tests. Sent all the results to her.
"Lucas open up your mind and heart to find what will make you happy in life. Release your true self." I tried.
