CopyrightΒ© 2008 SolShadow all rights reserved
*
My awakening happened one day much like any other, except Jennifer from across the street called me for the first time. In a breathy nervous voice, she awkwardly asked if I could help her. Of course, I would help my neighbor in need.
I crossed the street under the watchful eye of the brilliant Florida midday sun and knocked on her door. The door opened a crack and her bright sky blue eyes topped by dark furrowed brows, peeped out at me from the coolness. She whispered hoarsely,
"Come in."
I nodded as the door swung open wider to admit me.
I scanned her warmly stylish living room while stepping inside. I breathed deeply appreciating the cool scented air and turned to her for direction. Oddly, she was still shielded behind the door and not moving to shut it. I looked at her quizzically. Her face flushed deeply, and she said anxiously,
"In the laundry room," and pointed.
I studied her a moment longer, nodded and walked in the direction she pointed while thinking about the cool air escaping into the stifling heat from the opened door.
There was a small hole in the washing machine cold-water hose streaming water in an arc. She had placed a green plastic bucket on the floor to collect most of the stream. Twin large white metal washer/dryer cubes sat together next to a washbasin on white linoleum, with white wire racks holding laundry supplies above. The cramped room lit naturally by closed white horizontal blinds, smelled of scented detergent. There were spigots behind the washing machine, which I closed, and the stream quickly subsided.
The situation seemed, well... unlikely. Jennifer struck me as quiet, but intelligent, though I loosely based my opinion on the few sentences I spoke to her. Frankly, she married a dullard named Larry. He once told my wife and I, in our final religious conversation, that he had all the answers, and to just ask him. Not surprisingly for such a juvenile boast, he didn't know the questions, never mind the answers.
Jennifer, on the other hand, was quietly tasteful and stylish. Her living room was busy, with thriving plants and dried grass in vases and furniture and knickknacks, but the cacophony went well together in a cozy atmosphere of quiet beauty. This beauty and order from seeming chaos reinforced my opinion of Jennifer's intelligence, so I absently wondered why she didn't think to shut off the spigots herself. Surely, this was within her ken.
Turning to speak to her about it, I stood transfixed, previous thoughts erased. She mopped the water from the floor with her back to me. Never seeing her in revealing dress, I marveled at her tight black short shorts. Her round buttocks tensed and relaxed, her hips gently swayed as she glided from foot to foot punctuated with a quick twist of the mop.
I stifled a groan of longing, hypnotized by her seductive dance. I shook my head realizing, I was torturing my married self with cravings for a woman likewise committed. I looked down at my loose shorts and realized that my arousal was plainly visible. I reluctantly closed my eyes with a sigh and turned away. My imagination just spun out of the realm of possibility. Jennifer would never seduce anyone and certainly not a married man.
I focused intensely on the hoses, slowly disconnecting, dumping the excess water into the washbasin and coiling the hoses for replacement. After regaining control of my run away yearnings, my breathing slowed and I turned back to her.
She stood with the mop defensively in front of her. She breathed raggedly as she stared at me in vulnerable concentration. Her hands slowly slid down the mop shaft revealing her chest. I looked down from her eyes to her heaving breast. She wore a sheer white tank top. Her nickel-sized nipples stiffly poked the light material. This was no misunderstanding and her intent, perfectly clear.
I never thought sexually about Jennifer before this visit. She avoided attention. Her clothing was always tasteful, but in a matronly non-sexual way. She never engaged in heated discussion, so I overlooked her, disregarded and shamefully ignored her. That was over... forever. She forced me to acknowledge her and her desires.
I felt my face flush instantly and hot blood pumped into my genitals. A myriad of conflicting emotions blasted apart my calm. Surprise, lust, guilt, virulent pride in her choosing me, and, to my astonishment, anger. Yes, anger.
The world spins without my assistance and I'm not deluded with mastery of it, yet I do exercise great control over my response to its ever-changing nature. Jennifer innocently threatened to wrest that control from me with her temptations. The players moved; the collision inescapable. Random... maybe.
I am somewhat inured to the constant assault of sexual images and imagery from the media and the flirtations of loose women, but I never expected this behavior from Jennifer. Not from her. The shock of her actions caused the collapse of my inadequate guard and threw me into a whirlpool. In this rapid, volatile situation, I felt deceived and betrayed by her. In my mind, Jennifer made me believe she was someone else, someone who would never tempt me this way.
Jennifer could not control my assumptions, but that did not occur to me at the time. At the time, the situation infuriated me. I was ill prepared and momentarily, gaped in surprise. Anger took lead. I would make her pay for awakening this dangerous lust.
The mop trembled in her hand as I grabbed it. She shifted her weight from foot to foot as if bolting was the most appealing option, all the while she gazed confusedly into my angry face. She reluctantly surrendered the protection of her mop. She should have run. Her acquiescence thrilled and dumbfounded me simultaneously. I shouldn't feel lustful glee at this tiny surrender.