I can't stop thinking about Lisa. Her blonde hair hung in wild disarray, as if a comb had long forgotten it. It gave her a bewildered look as she stepped into my office, awkwardly looking around for the first time. Her spectacular blue eyes pierced through my soul somehow, as if she was looking for a moment of clarity in the chaos of her own thoughts. It was in that gaze, so intense yet so lost, that I saw something both fragile and unrelenting, like she was holding on to some invisible thread, daring the world to pull it.
Challenge accepted.
The session was her first time with me, and also her first time doing bondage. She was very shy to get started, but she eventually eased into it as we progressed. Our session began with a lot of talking which helped her relax and feel comfortable. I usually only have one client per day anyway, so it was fine by me to take all the time for her to get familiar enough with me before starting.
At some point she told me that she got my number through a referral from her friend Rachel, who's name I didn't recognize. Though as she described her friend, I realized that she was talking about a former client I knew as Roxanne, a one-timer with an appetite for getting whipped.
'Roxanne' had apparently been an alias to keep some sense of anonymity, most likely. Which was fine, I can't imagine she was the first person to do that, nor the last, I guess. That and ghosting me, which 'Roxanne' also did, but apparently from what Lisa told me, not because she didn't like our session.
Lisa told me what her friend had told her about the session. Apparently her friend had bragged to her about how big an orgasm she'd gotten and how I had fulfilled her every sexual fantasy. Though most of it was true enough, I did sense that her friend Rachel had left out her own insecurities she'd had during her session. From what Lisa told me, she'd make it sound as if Rachel had been the brazen care-free sexual type, where instead she came in with just as much doubts as most of my clients.
I wasn't going to tell. Just like I made sure not to acknowledge her friend's story. Of course, it was just a precaution to not disclose anything that happened with 'Roxanne' to Lisa, as that would clearly undermine the whole confidential and safe space concept that I retained for so long.
But Lisa mentioned herself that her friend was particularly happy with: "The way I had used her body to experience what she wanted to experiment with". And to be honest, I do take a lot of effort to create a safe space for people to come here and have that joyful experience. Hearing about someone bragging that they'd gotten exactly that, filled me with pride.
But after discussing her friend's session, Lisa spent the next half hour of unrelated small talk about the neighborhood. So at some point I politely changed the subject to more adult subjects with the petite woman in front of me. It was now time to hear from Lisa what she wanted her body and mind to endure.
Lisa was clearly quite intelligent and explained to me that she had difficulty enjoying sex because she was overly conscious and thinking too much about everything that was going on during the act itself. Not only that, but she was afraid of getting judged for any kinky acts she wanted to do or even try with the person she was having sex with.
So when she heard her friend tell about seeing a sex therapist, she decided to hire the professional too. Especially after hearing her experience and that I hadn't judged her proclivities and instead just helped her experience new and kinky sex. I was flattered but there was still one question that needed answering.
What do you want to experience and have done to you?
By then, I had learned that phrasing such a question set the bar quite high. Not only that, but clients who actually didn't experience everything in the first session had the tendency to come back. Those who got it all were never heard from.
The trick of the trade was to know what someone wanted and needed, fulfill it to some extent, with the promise of more to come in the next session or sessions. That said, what troubled me was that she came across af if she wanted to get all of her fantasies to be fulfilled while being super insecure about it at the same time.
While she was already talking for some time now, when she started about her sexual desire the conversation took even longer. She struggled to get some of the words out at some point, because she was too shy to say some of it out loud. I literally had to help her along to speak her mind on some of the things she wanted to try. Eventually I got my answers though.
We made a list together, there and then, with all of the dirty things she wanted to have done to her. And boy her list was extensive. It consisted of things like:
getting fucked while being tied up,
getting clamped,
doing anal play,
doing exhibitionism,
doing mummification play,
getting her breasts caned,
getting smeared with cum,
being humiliated,
doing electricity play,
...