Meeting Master Ch 02 1

Chapter 02: Newly Submissive

"Gentle? You say I'm gentle even as I'm flogging you?" Master laughed.

"Well, maybe not exactly then but overall yes…lol." Sage replied.

Master and Sage critiqued the session from the day before. Sage had been nowhere near her pain limits but as it was their very first excursion into the wonderful world of BDSM, Master had no idea what Sage's limits were so he had to ask. The one problem she had, and she would find out later that it was common to new subs, was that she could not marry the pain=pleasure concept. They were two very distinct entities in her mind and her mind was not able to let go of it yesterday.

"It will come in time," said Master. "But this is good; I need the feedback from you of what is working and what isn't so I know how to carry on."

"Do you want it at the time or after?"

"Both. I need to know how close we are getting to your limits or if something doesn't feel right. Afterward, you can tell me how you felt about the whole thing."

"Ok, Sir, I'll try. I didn't cry and scream during childbirth though so my reactions may not be the same as someone else's."

"That's okay. I'll learn to read you in time too." Master said.

This would be the first of many critiquing discussions they had in their relationship. Master needed the feedback from Sage about how it felt, what was good or not so good, how close to her limits they were getting. This way he could adjust his technique for the next time, add something new or use a different toy. He could add a level of pain in one area or lessen it in another.

Sage had mentioned before to Master that she didn't like pain and that she would like to concentrate on that issue for awhile. He assured her that it also would come in time and that they would work on it and try to bring it to the same level of pleasure at the sexual parts of their playing.

And Sage did like sex. During the two months between meeting Master and declaring her submission, Sage was still dating other men and would continue to do so even after being collared. After leaving her husband in September, she was posted on an online dating site by the middle of October and she felt just like a kid in a candy store. She had to wonder where all these men came from and why she didn't become single years before so she could have been having fun all this time. As soon as she posted her profile she started receiving 6 – 8 emails per day on both sites she listed with. The second site also had an Instant Message screen and she would have to scroll through 100-120 at a time to check them out. It didn't take long with all that attention for Sage to set down her criteria. Firstly, she read the profile and email. If it wasn't well written or if it contained spelling, grammar and punctuation errors, she politely declined any further contact. After all, she figured, if they couldn't spend time and attention on details such as their public profile, they likely wouldn't be the type to spend time and attention on more important things, like her.

Between emails and chat, they must be able to carry on a decent, halfway intelligent conversation and have a sense of humour: they needed to possess a brain above the belt. They also must be at least fit, if not athletic or slim. Sage herself was a personal trainer and really was not attracted to fat or un-health. That was one of the ways she realized her marriage was over: her ex was fat, about 80 pounds overweight and she just couldn't bring herself to have sex with him. She thought to herself one day that if she really loved him, that wouldn't matter because love sees through different eyes. It was obvious then that the love was gone. When she married him, he was about 150 pounds at 5'11", not scrawny but wiry and fairly muscular. She loved it and all the perks that came with it like the toned legs, nice ass, defined chest and shoulders. She had that for all of three years. Once he quit smoking the first time he flew up to way over 220 pounds. She remembered the day he saw a picture of himself with his face turned away and gave her shit for having a strange man laying on her couch, and a fat one at that. He started smoking again but only dropped to about 180-190 and it wasn't a healthy drop either: it was still flab. The last 2 years of marriage he quit again and topped out at over 240. Having sex was only bumping bellies and if she was on top, she couldn't even reach either side of him on her knees.

Sage herself had not been an angel all the time either. She had also put on weight, over 40 pounds worth in her late 30's after retiring from the military. Her life until then was spent trying to keep weight on. At 110 pounds, even after having two children, Sage was tiny. So the extra weight and size was not only unappealing to her, it also caused health issues. The difference between Sage and her ex was that she didn't like what she had become and so joined a gym to fix it. When they took the initial measurement, she found that was exactly the same size and weight as when she was 9 months pregnant with her son 17 years before. At that time, she remembered feeling thankful that her dilemma was only temporary and she didn't have to stay like that. This time, she just felt disgusted. It took a little over a year to lose her weight the right way so it would stay off. She ended a size smaller than she had been in her 20's but 10 lbs heavier. She was now 120 lbs of solid muscle, strong and fit but not unsightly or steroidal looking.

So being fit and intelligent with a really off the wall sense of humour, Sage wanted the same thing in any man she saw. Was that such a bad thing? Not a bad thing no, but difficult to find. From 50 emails would come 10 positive replies although she answered every contact thanking them for stopping by. Maybe 4 of those 10 would progress to chatting. If the chats started out with "

u got pics?"

she deleted them without a word. If they couldn't talk about anything but their sexual prowess, they got deleted. One day Sage's son's girlfriend told her that she would probably have more success if she stopped talking like she had a cock. They got a huge laugh out of it but it was true. Some guys were so blunt and obnoxious Sage couldn't help being obnoxious right back. The one in particular that sparked K's comment had been crowing about his 9 inch cock for almost a week, telling Sage all the things he's like to do to her with it but not committing to a date. One evening he was pretending she would drop everything and rush over for a quick fuck and he said, "Oh btw, I want a blowjob tonight too." Sage had had enough of his big talk, no action so she replied, "Hey, another thing we have in common – so do I." The guy signed off and was never seen again.

"Hah, no loss there," Sage thought.

Usually about 1 in 50 contacts made it to a coffee date – a meeting in public to be safe. Not all coffee dates were successful either for one reason or another. The conversation lagged unless it was about sex, the conversation about sex lagged, the guy blatantly lied on his profile about being fit and his beer belly gave him away, or there just wasn't that certain spark. The coffee dates that were successful and led to another more intimate encounter sometimes ended up a one shot deal as well. No matter how much you're attracted to someone and can talk all night, if the sex isn't good there won't be a second time. And it was amazing how people can be sexually incompatible. A long time later, Master came out with the perfect description: "singularly unremarkable".

Sage remembered fondly, and will always remember, her first coffee date and the man on the other side of the table. His nick on the site was TT which was meant to imply that he was masterful at cunnilingus. When he approached her online during her second week there and found out she'd only just separated a little over a month before, he yelled at her, gave her holy shit for being there.

"This site is full of weirdoes and you are too vulnerable!" It took a while for Sage to assure him that she was just fine, not grieving, not vulnerable, not on the rebound. Her marriage had been dead for a long time

and

she had been anticipating the separation for almost 2 years

and

she was the one that did the walking. Then she asked TT if he was one of the weirdoes that was going to prey on her. That clinched the coffee date – that very Sunday on his way home from church.

What a sweetheart he turned out to be, and his picture definitely didn't do justice to his smile. It was brilliant and lit up the entire room. When they got together a week or so later, Sage found that he came by his nickname very honestly for he did have a very talented tongue. Sage and TT didn't see each other again for about 6 months but were just as comfortable then as they were the first time. They kept in touch by email every so often and there was never any pressure on either side.

Shortly after meeting TT, Sage met G and theirs was a turbulent relationship. They were intimate for about 4 months and remained special friends forever after that. G was married when they met and Sage had a hard time with that at first. But as their friendship grew stronger, she was able to detach herself a bit more and grew to love the man, not romantically but with a deep abiding Divine love. When she met G, he was where she had been the year before: knowing deep inside that the marriage was over but still there, not in denial but the acceptance stage. The hardest part of all. That's where one does their grieving for something that has died and then faces the realization that life has to go on. G picked up on a phrase Sage had used to describe her own last year before leaving. She called it "tactical patience". Make the decision, make all your plans and preparations then when the time is right, leave. Sage wished she had had a close friend to help her through that period. She had close friends yes, and they did help her through yes, but more as a supportive loving team. With G, Sage was more…available is a good word. He knew he could, and did, call her in the middle of the night to talk if the day went badly. He could vent on her, cry on her shoulder, be sheltered within her arms and know that there was honesty and support and caring there.

And G helped Sage to heal inside. He provided the handsome male attention, lots of sex, the ear, the shoulder, the massages. She could vent on him too and take shelter in his arms when the going got rough. From him Sage got support and a devil's advocate. From Sage, G got support and the glimpse of what a nasty breakup could be.

Just about the time Sage made her declaration of submission to her Master, she was trying to back away from G. He seemed to be getting possessive and a wee bit too serious for her liking. He's already tried to tell her he loved her but she wouldn't allow it. She could understand where he was coming from because she was giving him all that a wife should and that his wife wasn't. But she knew that his love for her was the love of a victim for his saviour. And she didn't love him back, only as a friend. So when G started talking about his future with her in it, Sage got the willies and knew it was time. They stayed very close in person and by phone but the intimacy stopped. Sage got to grieve with him when he told his son what was happening, she got to rejoice with him when he found his apartment, she sent him light on the weekend he was to talk to his wife, she reveled with him in his newfound freedom and she got to congratulate him on his first new girlfriend.

They remained special friends, Sage and G, for in each other they had found a kindred spirit. They retained that rare kind of relationship where they could tell or ask each other anything,

anything

, and get total honesty and acceptance in return.

Sage was not so lucky in the other men she saw during that period. She chatted with

a lot

and went on coffee dates

a lot

and even managed a few intimate encounters but none were memorable. To top it off she started getting flak from her kids, both biological and strays, and her ex. Her son believed she was out hopping into somebody's bed every time she left the apartment: to go for coffee with a girlfriend, a lawyer's appointment, even when she came home loaded with groceries. Her ex began harassing her because the son was calling her a slut. Sage finally just gave up on all of them; she didn't even bother trying to defend herself. In fact, she laughed one night and said, "Man, I wish I

were

getting laid even half as much as you think I am." She had never really cared what others thought of her and it was no different now. She could sleep at night and look at herself in the mirror in the morning so she was okay within herself. All the rest could go to hell.

Sage found herself changing, becoming freer, more confident. She was a desirable woman again. Inside, as her angels were telling her, was a different story. She was still locked into her tower, hiding her soul away and repelling all their attempts to get through. She had had to do that for awhile in order to heal but her time for self-isolation was through. She needed to start tearing down her walls and let others in, let her angels in. Looking back months later at this stage of her life, Sage felt it was meeting all these new people, learning to live and have fun again, and re-establishing her self worth

in her own eyes

that helped her to grow. Her tower lasted a while longer for it was strong and built to last – it had had to get her through the past couple years. But she was finally coming to a place in her own mind and heart where she could start to find peace within herself. She was ready to start growing again.

Changes were happening in her sexuality as well. She had already started taking down those walls and was discovering a whole new world out there ripe for exploring. And her new Master had her by the hand to lead her through. One day while chatting, out of the blue he asked how she felt about bi-sexuality and did she realize her duties as a sub would require her to be with another woman. Sage said that yes, she realized and was open to the idea.

"Great, your task tonight is to tell me about your first bi experience. How you see it unfolding and the role I am to play in it."

"Ok, Sir. But this isn't going to happen for awhile, right?"

"lol…no, not for awhile."

Having absolutely no idea what to expect, Sage tried to dredge up memories of porn films she's watched and looked at pictures on the Internet. Also not knowing how she would react to being present with her first pussy to eat, she decided to fall back on what she did know. She figured that if a woman entered the picture while she was bound and blindfolded, she would have no choice and therefore, no chance to refuse. It was amazing how being tied up and blind makes it so much easier to accept and do things you may not normally do freely.

INSERT "HER FIRST"